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BlackPhx -> RE: A question about slavery (2/10/2008 7:26:24 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: chelle35
thank You for all Yyour opinons, i am going to email Him and wait for His call/or email and see what He says i do have limits and i will discuss them with Him, no Wwe havent met yet, Wwe have been doing the online thing for over two years, yeah i know we should of met by now and everything, He says He is working and has a busy life but will be here soon.and im going to take it real slow with Him.start fresh so to speak.
Chelle; thank you for listening and thinking. There are a couple of red flags for me in the snippet above. No one is that busy, not even the President of the US. Even the President takes vacations..maybe only a week at a time, but he does.There may be some serious reasons he has not met you until now, and I would suggest sincerely that you look into them.
First and foremost he may not have been able to leave his state for legal reasons.
If you have his information, please use one of the online search engines like http://ussearch.com/ to get some background information on him. Know who you are meeting. It is the rare person would object to this going from online to real life. Sometimes when we travel in the same circles, e.g. clubs, munches, socials we can learn enough about the person to be safe, to give informed consent, but with distance, that is an uncertanty factor on both sides of the coin. There are Predators out there, and you are considering placing your life in the hands of an unknown. Most states have corrections records online these days, including Sexual Predator records. Type in the name, date of birth and place of residence and you can see if the person comes up. Be aware however, they don't always give their real name to the person they are contacting.
He could be/have been married at first contact or still may be. I ran into this one with a dom I had been talking with. Everything looked good until I discovered that he had hidden the fact that he was married from me. Not once did he tell me, even though I asked. Now if it had, that would not have been a problem, I would have wanted to make sure she was ok with things, but, I had no problem with serving a married couple. The fact that he LIED about it was a problem. If he lied about that, what else would he lie about? Not a way to build the trust so neccesary in this life. I didn't find out until after we had met face to face, when she called my home looking for him. He had already gone back to TX, I thought, but in reality had gone on to see someone else he had been talking with. She was a very hurt woman, and we had a long talk that night with her alternately crying and raging at the things he was doing.
Two years online is a long time to run a scam, but it can happen. It is easy to fantasize about giving up everything for someone. Being near family who watch over you, friends who are in constant contact, jobs, homes, etc. It is a big step, a massive leap of faith and can be dangerous as all hell. There are people who will isolate you, help you sell off everything you own, turn it over to them and then dump you, moving on to the next victim. Con men generally have more than one person on the string at a time and while he is closing on one, another is in the works. Don't leave yourself without a way back..not until you know for sure you are safe. Sign over nothing, give over no rights to your bank accounts etc. until you are sure. Even vanilla couples tend to have a yours, mine and our account, these days and it's a pretty smart move.
The last flag for me is you have never been with a Sadist. There are many levels to this life choice on the sub/slave side and on the Dom/Top side. There are those who enjoy the submission to anothers will and those who enjoy the pain play in and for itself, nothing else need to be involved. There are those who need both in different mixtures and levels. This applies to both sides of the coin. at the extreme ends lie the Sexual Sadist and the Sexual Masochist. These are called paraphilias when they are the end all and be all of the person sexuality. At the apex of that line, those who only get sexual release from the torture of another person don't see that person as anything more than a thing to be used up and thrown away. These are people like Charles Ng and Leonard Lake, look them up. Their toys don't usually survive and choice is not something they offer.
We often don't like to talk about such persons on here, as Consent is not something they are interested in and is something we who make this life choice tend to be pretty big on, yet, they do fish in our waters. There are a lot of Sadists out there who don't break their toys and most are wonderful people, but to be honest you can't tell them apart just by looking at them. Ng and Lake looked like everyone else and probably could have fished here as well as anywhere else for their catch. They didn't however believe in catch and release. Unfortunately, without meeting face to face, publicly, you rarely even have instinct to warn you. Meet privately and it could be too late.
Instinct is your friend. Trust your gut feeling. example; A Top/Sadist I was thinking about meeting after long talks, finally sent me a picture of him. He looked like King Kong Bundy's older sadistic brother. I sat and stared at the picture for a couple of moments, and then apologied and said we would not be meeting. I realized and this was not because of the way he looked, that was ok, but staring into the eyes in the picture there was no one home. Not one thing human stared out of them. It was like looking into the eyes on a shark, and I knew viscerally that there was something wrong. It hit me when I realized I was counting kill and disable points and unsure I would be able to get out of his hands using all of them, that this person would be dangerous for me to meet. His reply to my negation of meeting? "Sorry you escaped, you would have been fun." Instinct..gotta love it, but my instinct is born of a long life of playing with sadists. Thank the gods he did not have my name and address..and rue I did not yet have his. I am sure someone somewhere was looking for him. But trust me you can't always tell. Women trusted Ted Bundy and Gacy did not lack for victims.
Please be careful and know what you want and can handle. I won't say that you are a newbie and can't handle pain, I don't know you or your life experiences. But if you have never been in the hands of a sadist you may not be prepared, only think you are. Take your time, go slow, and learn more about yourself and your limits before you hand precious flesh over to someone who may not value it as much as you do.
poenkitten (surviving 55 years of sexual slavery and sadism as child and woman)
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