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Dominant Impressions - 2/10/2008 9:42:10 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		Ladies, Here is a quote from another thread:
 
quote:

The submissives males I know are much like dommes, emotionally bankrupt, out of control mentally and physically most of the time and by in large not driven by any honorable codes of conduct. 

 
edited to change this: dommes---the posters meaning of this meant all Dominants--so I ask this in a more general sense:
 
edited to correct typos from nails too long!


 
Is this what we have become, is this the general concensus?

< Message edited by LadyHathor -- 2/10/2008 10:38:51 AM >

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Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.
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RE: Dominant Imperssions - 2/10/2008 10:13:48 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Was the original poster Dominant or submissive, not that it matters. Whoever wrote that piece of drivel needs a reality check and possibly some happy pills.

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In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

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RE: Dominant Imperssions - 2/10/2008 10:16:44 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		I would be interested in reading the rest of that thread.

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In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to LadyHathor)
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RE: Dominant Imperssions - 2/10/2008 10:21:23 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		It sounds to me like it was written by a very jaded person.  There are both very worthy Dom/mes and subs on this site.  In any group, vanilla or not, you will find those who would rather play games than be real, those with lower morals, and those with less control.  As a Mistress I pride myself on my control; when I switch and am slave for my Daddy I also show great control.  Thus I can answer the question from both sides - there are both Dom/mes and subs here with great control and pure intentions.

(in reply to LadyHathor)
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RE: Dominant Imperssions - 2/10/2008 10:22:30 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		If i felt i wasnt in control of myself i would end a relationship, sooner or later it would implode anyhow. Maybe how it ends up is due to choices we make in selecting a partner. We are all prone to making the odd bad decision which results in inner turmoil. I dont see that being any differnet in a D/s relationship or a vanilla one.

(in reply to MsLadySue)
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RE: Dominant Imperssions - 2/10/2008 10:22:54 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I find most generalizations to be like most stereotypes, incorrect. People need some sort of ammunition to fire at the other side whether it has any basis or not. I take people on an individual basis,  I know some great Dominants, I know some real shitty ones, same goes for subs/slaves and switches.

Also take into account that everyone has their own opinion and perception of things, so for one person to say all Dominants suck, that is strictly their opinion, whether it is fact or not is in the eyes of the beholder.

~Lashra


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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: Dominant Imperssions - 2/10/2008 10:26:27 AM   
atursvcMaam


Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline 		Not to be too much of an English teacher, but i do tend to dismiss things poorly written in terms of grammar and spelling (and foul language on other threads).  If the words and phrases are unclear or imprecise, how can the underlying reasoning be clear and accurate.

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live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

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RE: Dominant Imperssions - 2/10/2008 10:32:04 AM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I am not sure that some version of this same moral criticism could not be leveled against the entire world at the moment, but...ok.

I certainly agree that our community is no better or worse than any other social group, in terms of attracting people who have the usual range of human qualities.  And of course, the fact that there is power-over-others to be found here may attract a few extra recruits on the "bad" end of things, since evil people can rarely resist such a gold-plated invitation to do others harm.

I would agree that a lot of people on the Internet are not bound by codes of honorable conduct and don't seem to be in control, at least emotionally.  What that has to do with their BDSM orientation, I have no idea.

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RE: Dominant Imperssions - 2/10/2008 10:40:22 AM   
MistressFaye1


Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		This sounds like someone that allowed her/himself to used and possibly abused by another.  Poor choices and maybe not taking time to really get to know the person(s).

This is not the general concensus, at least not what I've experienced.  I do know that people are becoming more aware of what to look for when trying to find someone.  The internet and exposure to the lifestyle also through literature (novels geared to younger adults) have blown the lid open and has given the general pop more access to BDSM.

As I've said before, the internet is a blessing and a curse.  It's also becoming more difficult to find submissives that are truly interested in a D/s relationship rather than the turn on from the kink/fetish side of things.

Communities were more tight-knit and it was easier to weed out the fakes.  It's not so today but it can be done when folks take their time rather than rushing into situations.

Faye

< Message edited by MistressFaye1 -- 2/10/2008 10:42:30 AM >

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You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

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RE: Dominant Imperssions - 2/10/2008 10:54:54 AM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

I am not sure that some version of this same moral criticism could not be leveled against the entire world at the moment, but...ok.



Yeah, I'm gonna play my cynic card here and say, well, isn't that pretty much the state of affairs everywhere?

We (the BDSM "community") are only a sample of the population, a fairly wide one at that, and the only thing that really ties us all together is a general deviance from the sexual norms of our society. You're pretty much going to find the same patterns here you'll find in any other large sample.

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Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
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RE: Dominant Impressions - 2/10/2008 11:59:21 AM   
Kaiynasha


Posts: 172
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		LadyHathor my answer possibly. So many get into the lifestyle for different reasons- and not to say that those reasons are right or wrong, but sometimes these individuals are toxic and simply unhealthy. They have no boundaries for themselves so they are unable to provide set-limits of those around them. This goes for dominants and submissives.

From a personal standpoint. I realized that the only way for me to become a true Domme is to really do my own work. Asking myself why do I want this? And what am getting by doing so if anything?  And every once in awhile I step back and reflect. People can judge me...but no one fully knows me better than myself.

I believe there are to many unhealthy folk in the lifestyle thus that one bad apple (whether they be submissive or dominant) spoils it for the healthy ones. Which damages a possible good relationship for all.

MK

< Message edited by Kaiynasha -- 2/10/2008 12:05:26 PM >

_____________________________

"Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability...nothing deepens intimacy
like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins
off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing
to share in the scary stuff"

(in reply to LadyHathor)
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RE: Dominant Impressions - 2/10/2008 12:25:43 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		I typically have more respect off the top for female dominants actually. My experience jaded me I guess, because they can interact with me without thinking "Can I stick my dick into that?" While male Dominants I tend to be more wary of if they by some chance decide I look like a piece of meat.
This is simply my skewed perception though, I'm sure a female dominant might look at me one day and go "Can I stick my strap-on in that?"

(in reply to Kaiynasha)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dominant Impressions - 2/10/2008 12:47:07 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		"could you please give us your impression of dominants?"

"I'm sorry, I'm a transport manager - I dont do impressions"

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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RE: Dominant Impressions - 2/10/2008 4:12:59 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		People often project onto all others what they see inside of themselves.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Dominant Impressions - 2/10/2008 4:20:40 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Hmm...I have gotten to know a lot of people on this site and the 'b' site. I've met some in real life, and had on-line friendships with others.
The ones I know (with one exception to prove the rule) have been extremely well educated, well spoken, intelligent, funny, creative and interesting. This could be said of any person who I have befriended in the lifestyle, Dom, Domme, sub and switch.
I feel honored to be a part of  such an interesting and eclectic group of people.

~Christina

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Dominant Impressions - 2/10/2008 4:22:10 PM   
DominaJayde


Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline 		Rubbish, whoever wrote that was having a bad day, month, year, Doms/Dommes are no better or worse than any other section of the community, and the same goes with submissives, male or female,  in ALL groups you get good ones and bad ones, painting such a broad general brush does not give a good impression of the OP at all..

DJ



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letting go is a freedom in itself
http://fetishfandango.blogspot.com/

(in reply to LadyHathor)
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RE: Dominant Impressions - 2/10/2008 4:39:58 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Sticks and stones may break my bones.....

If I believed any of the insults hurled over the years at Dommes in general (and me in person) at Collarme and other internet sites, I would be vanilla by now .

I know my partner and I are highly functioning, healthy and successful members of Australian society as well as our sub-culture (femdom).  So are the BDSMers we choose as our friends. 

I have no idea who the cranky pants OP is insulting (ie the people he "knows"), but they are not in my social circle.  I deliberately avoid the crazies and opportunists that exist in all walks of life.

PS:  if you want to see morally and emotionally bankrupt, try vanilla internet dating for a while.  I have never met so many sleazy, horrible, pushy, middle aged creeps in my life.  I think the proportion of decent men and women is higher in Femdom dating than any other.

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 2/10/2008 4:43:27 PM >

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RE: Dominant Impressions - 2/12/2008 5:42:40 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

The submissives males I know are much like dommes, emotionally bankrupt, out of control mentally and physically most of the time and by in large not driven by any honorable codes of conduct. 

I have no idea what inspired that rant, but I suspect it's time to call the

WAAAAHMBULANCE

for the author of this quote.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 18
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