Answering Messages

Answering Messages (Full Version)

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tigress31047 -> Answering Messages (9/11/2005 4:15:45 AM)
There have been many threads and rants from Doms about subs not replying to their messages and vise versa.. I have to say that since i posted in my profile that i was owned and did not wish to converse with other Doms, most have been very respectful. However, I recently posted that i am seeking a bi-submissive female(not owned) for play . This was done with Masters approval as He knows i wish to persue that aspect of the lifestyle. Now, on to my question: I have gotten swarmed with messages from Doms wanting to chat and "get to know me" . Where does it say that i am seeking a new Dom? I have always been resptful and at least answered with a "Thanks,but no thanks" reply to everyone.There are 2 Doms in particular that even though i have sent these replys to , they still continue to contact me. I do not understand . Master is going to make me pull the request of seeeking a female to play with if tis does not stop.. how can Doms be this disrespectful. not only to me but also to my Master? How can i make it ny plainer that what i have already donein my profile? Do i just ignore all request for chat from anyone that is not sub and then get accused of being rude? I guess that is the only logical next step . tigress

Padriag -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 7:20:30 AM)
Sounds to me like you're getting trolled. I don't know who these "doms" are but my personal opinion on it is that if they can't a) read your profile and understand that you are own, and b) can't accept no for an answer, then the only appropriate response on your part is to use the block email feature. While on a couple of occasions spoken up about subs not replying to sincere letters... what you describe doesn't even come close to that category. Spam, trolling, etc doesn't require any reply and those things you can ignore without the least bit of guilt. To be honest, any dom who can't read your profile and realize you are spoken for and respect that doesn't deserve any kind of reply at all. Whether you pull something from your profile or not is up to you an your Master, you two go whatever route on that works best for you... but as for these trolls, ignore'em. In case my overall point about reply to emails hasn't been clear, its about courtesy... if someone treats you with courtesy and respect its just good manners to respond in kind. But if somebody treats you with disrespect and discourtesy you don't own them so much as the time of day.

ChereeAmoor -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 7:22:49 AM)
Allow me to hand you this can of Wannabe-Dom-Be-Gone spray. Use liberally. Sorry about your message troubles - I think a lot of people here mean well, but go off on their own wants/needs shopping list. I hope you can find someone to play with, it would be a shame to get hounded off the site for nothing that is your fault. Me, I ignore and if I am accused of being rude, I shrug. I cannot please everyone, and am a bit too wise to even try.

subcheryl -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 7:33:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag Sounds to me like you're getting trolled. I don't know who these "doms" are but my personal opinion on it is that if they can't a) read your profile and understand that you are own, and b) can't accept no for an answer, then the only appropriate response on your part is to use the block email feature. While on a couple of occasions spoken up about subs not replying to sincere letters... what you describe doesn't even come close to that category. Spam, trolling, etc doesn't require any reply and those things you can ignore without the least bit of guilt. To be honest, any dom who can't read your profile and realize you are spoken for and respect that doesn't deserve any kind of reply at all. Whether you pull something from your profile or not is up to you an your Master, you two go whatever route on that works best for you... but as for these trolls, ignore'em. In case my overall point about reply to emails hasn't been clear, its about courtesy... if someone treats you with courtesy and respect its just good manners to respond in kind. But if somebody treats you with disrespect and discourtesy you don't own them so much as the time of day. Padriag, I fully agree with you on this. I have trouble being rude to anyone, but get frustrated with those who persist in trying to talk to me in search of their submissive even if I have in my profile that I have a Master/Dom. Solution: Master had me post in my profile if a Dom/Master wished to speak with me they first had to contact my Master. Now some would think that would cause an overload for Master but surprisingly it hasn't, and the few I have had contact me and demand to talk, I kindly pt to the fact in my profile that they are to contact Master before I can chat with them, had one who insisted and never contacted Master, so I used that handy little ignore button, Then I did have those who appologised and went on their way. But you know what I find surprising is the number of subs who go thru Master first before contacting me, now that is respect, not the way it was stated in my profile but they took the extra step anyway. May work for you or it may not, just a suggestion.

cellogrrlMK -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 7:45:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tigress31047 There are 2 Doms in particular that even though i have sent these replys to , they still continue to contact me. I do not understand . Master is going to make me pull the request of seeeking a female to play with if tis does not stop.. how can Doms be this disrespectful. not only to me but also to my Master? How can i make it ny plainer that what i have already donein my profile? Do i just ignore all request for chat from anyone that is not sub and then get accused of being rude? I guess that is the only logical next step . Hi tigress, I have had the experience of persistent "doms" who wouldn't stop emailing. There's a very easy solution, if your Master doesn't want to deal with telling them to leave you alone. Simply block them. If they're stupid enough to make a new profile to continue harassing you, just block them again, as well as letting a Mod know what is going on. You shouldn't have to alter your profile because some assholes don't know the meaning of the written English word. cello

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 9:36:00 AM)
Would it be a good idea to set up a "I'm getting emails I don't want/not getting emails I don't want" forum? It seems to be just as poular as discussion on Gor lately. EVERYONE gets emails they don't want and EVERYONE has emails they want to get and don't. You get emails you don't like? DELETE them, IGNORE them, MOVE ON. You don't get emails you want? Oh well, look at your profile, look at your approach, relax and MOVE ON. Life moves on.

FLButtSlut -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 10:02:06 AM)
Sadly it seems that it doesn't matter whether you are master or sub, the problem is going to persist. It seems to be the result, at least for initial contact of one thing. These people just can't manage to read your profile completely. It seems they focus on certain things, such as location, description (where you are identified as sub, dominant, etc) and vital stats. God help you if you post a picture of yourself, because then I think all reading stops entirely! tigress, I see a lot of concern from submissives/slaves about being rude, or accused of being rude. Is the conduct of these persistent little twits respectful of you? I understand trying to politely inform that they have misread, but when the persist, you shouldn't worry about being rude, or their reaction if you are. I try to reply to every email I receive. Sometimes it may be a polite no thank you, sometimes it is is far from polite based on what I received. I don't worry about their reaction to it, because they have clearly not read my profile based on their email to me. Sometimes I even receive email from people who are completely aware that they are not an appropriate match, but send me a very polite email anyway. They receive a polite email in return and sometimes we end up having friendly chats afterwards. Personally, for those persistent jerks, I would suggest you and Master sit down and compose a very pointed reply. It probably won't stop them (that is why you hit "block" after), but I find that it makes me feel better that I have not let someone disrespect me.

OsideGirl -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 10:28:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tigress31047 how can Doms be this disrespectful. not only to me but also to my Master? Subs can be just as disrespectful. I had someone from this board email me, and I returned an email with the statement, "at my Master's suggestion, this will be my last email to you". She proceeded to send me another email. So, I figure she completly ignored my response or she thought that she carried more weight than my Master. Both of which I found amazingly rude. I have found that some people are convinced that they are the exception to your rules or limits. When single, I had a 10 year age difference in place. The reason for this was that I wanted someone that culturally instep with me. What I got was "I'm 50, but look like I'm 40". So, that said. You'll never get the emails to stop. You can set your email account up so that it blocks all men, maybe that will help.

Sunshine119 -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 11:06:11 AM)
Tigress, Even though I have it in my profile that I'm not looking, and I have ABSOLUTELY no personal information in it, I've been swamped as well. I usually try and respond with a polite "Thanks for contacting me but, I'm already with someone" line. I've gotten nasty comments in return and repeat nasty comments from one person. All I can say is that the block function works really well. [:D]

perfection20005 -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 1:34:24 PM)
You can always block the ones who don't leave you alone after you tell them no thanks. I get the same thing, even though mine say owned and collared. Some just don't care and just want to get laid.

OscarHargraves -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 4:30:25 PM)
I agree. Blocking those specific names or addresses is the fastest and easiest. They will also get a notice back saying that their address has been blocked so that pretty well ends it.

Quivver -> RE: Answering Messages (9/11/2005 10:03:14 PM)
It's been my experiance (as limited as it is) that the word Bi raises the heads on every HNG on the web. Something crossfires in the brain of those HNG's the very instant they begin to salivate removing the ability to read at more then a first grade level. [:@] I'd not worry about being rude to someone it's clear you'd have nothing to do with anyways......... F um. Q

tigress31047 -> RE: Answering Messages (9/12/2005 2:49:44 AM)
Thank Y/you A/all for the replys and advice. those particular Doms have been blocked and my messages set. I am being allowed to keep the profile up and contnue seeking a playmate... Thank Y/you sooo much tigress

KatyLied -> RE: Answering Messages (9/12/2005 4:36:29 AM)
quote: You get emails you don't like? DELETE them, IGNORE them, MOVE ON. X Well said. It's easy to do. This is such a big topic around here.

shaohua -> RE: Answering Messages (9/12/2005 11:26:49 PM)
quote: I understand trying to politely inform that they have misread, but when the persist, you shouldn't worry about being rude, or their reaction if you are. i had a problem with that same thing..my original reply was quote polite...to his next reply..i simply stated "i was being polite..now i'm not... f*** you" then end..and i blocked him..if a "Dom" can't have respect for my Owner..then i have no respect for them. i do my best to be polite..but sometimes politeness doesn't cut the cake.

LadyofLight -> RE: Answering Messages (9/15/2005 3:59:32 AM)
I don't have any answers,except I guess it goes to that-2 women fantasy so many men have. I gave up trying to answer all the mail I get from male subs- Was writing to someone that gave me a chance to change in some of my thinking but who the hell knows there................ I'm sticking w/ the forums and I think all the rest are players right about now.

LadyofLight -> RE: Answering Messages (9/15/2005 4:01:21 AM)
as always such practical advice.i needed to hear this today.Thanks

sultryvoice -> RE: Answering Messages (9/15/2005 5:26:29 PM)
I believe we all have had this problem. Some Doms complain about not getting a response and then you get the jerks who don't get it in the message that you are taken..Those are desperate men..Desperation is not attractive! Respectfully, sultry

KatyLied -> RE: Answering Messages (9/15/2005 5:42:21 PM)
What bothers me is when I explain that I am no longer seeking and I get the "if it doesn't work out keep me in mind" line. argh.

RainGod -> RE: Answering Messages (9/15/2005 6:43:09 PM)
Hoping this isn't too terribly off topic, but it kinda seems to fit here in a way. I remember sometime back reading and hearing from some submissives who were talking about Doms sending them emails which were very simliar to a 'form letter', if you will, and they always seemed to be genericly cut, copied, and pasted. Well, oddly enough, here lately I have received a few of those type emails from submissives. Being nice, I always reply, even if to politely decline. I got an answer back from a reply with the girl telling Me how after sending that email to about 100 Doms, I was the one whose reply sounded most intelligent. I was like... okay... and does that come with a door prize? lol Has anyone else experienced what I am talking about?

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