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RE: Thwarting unwarranted advances... - 2/11/2008 3:37:01 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Saying "no thank you" works but sit is socially acceptable to say "not right now" and if someone came up and whined, then you KNOW you don't want to play with them! If I was running a party and I found that someone was bitching about being blown off, I would take them aside and explain life to them.

As for the casual brush, first time there isn't much you can do BUT I would inform the host that "gee, he felt creepy and the contact seemed on purpose" because if they hear that from a couple of people, the guy is going to get a warning.

Your pet standing up and giving the guy a look was perfect. Let the guy know you aren't going to take his crap.

Nicely done, Michael....What is so confusing about giving someone the "brush-off?"

Do you people ever go outside? Mingle with the little people of this world? Have you never learned the art of saying "no?"...You don't have to lie or explain yourself....You never know when you are going to meet someone of interest. You don't have to say we are here only to "Blah, blah, bla," ...You simply say "no thanks" or "I'm not interested." Or if you want to take the more honest approach say something like..."Are you fucking joking?...I don't do well with creepy ass motherfuckers...Please move along."

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RE: Thwarting unwarranted advances... - 2/11/2008 8:40:15 PM

MasterFireMaam

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Joined: 3/1/2006
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The usual rule in the BDSM community is: don't touch unless invited (no until yes). The usual rule in the swingers community is yes until no. It's possible that he was either rude or misinformed. In either case, a, "Please do not touch me again," was warranted. Also, the management of the space WILL want to hear about stuff like this. You can express that you could have been wrong that the touch was deliberate, but it really seemed so at the time. If the man has a rep, it'll help not getting him invited back.

As for learning to say no, all you have to do is say, "No thank you." It's not up to you to justify your actions to one person about your choices toward another. If the older gentleman had a problem with you playing with the one who took the time to get to know you and your pet as a pepole, that's his problem, not yours. If he ever asked why you played with the other man and not him, an appropriate response would be, "Because I wanted to play with him." Again, if someone is being too pushy, the management wants to hear about it.

Learning to handle confrontation in order to express and enforce your personal boundaries is a must. Practice it with your pet...have him roll play a number of different scenarios. Believe me, if he's convincing, you'll be able to get into it enough to express yourself.

Master Fire

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RE: Thwarting unwarranted advances... - 2/11/2008 9:03:13 PM

MstrsWicked

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From: Lake Balboa (SFV), CA
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I hate to disagree with you Ma'am, but in the swinger community (which I am a part of, as well) the same rule applies, you ask BEFORE touching, and NO means NO. There are creeps out there, no matter what community you're a part of and they need to be set straight. To the OP:There's nothing wrong with saying, "No, Thank you" or "not right now" and I believe it is perfectly okay to move on to someone that you find interesting. thank you, Ms Wicked.

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RE: Thwarting unwarranted advances... - 2/11/2008 9:21:59 PM

Owner4SexSlave

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Oh Hell, what's wrong with a little attention and flirty behavior. If they push it too far, simply be assertive and let them know you are not interested in them that way. "Sorry, I'm/we're not interested in playing with you". If they still don't get the picture.. well, hell just threaten to chop them up into little pieces and feed them their animals or something mind blowing and crazy. People tend to run like hell, when you start to act bat shit crazy over their advances. Just remember to put on your best crazy face when you do it! LOL....

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RE: Thwarting unwarranted advances... - 2/11/2008 9:53:54 PM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrsWicked
... in the swinger community (which I am a part of, as well) the same rule applies, you ask BEFORE touching...

Thanks for letting me know about the touching part. I'm not part of the swinger's community and was going by what I'd been told.

Master Fire

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RE: Thwarting unwarranted advances... - 2/12/2008 2:19:13 PM

iammachine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaze
If you put your wears out there expect someone to inspect them, being a uppity broad will only challenge your pet and I suspect send him to the morgue or emergency room.

This is an unfortunate occupational hazard of public environments. There is always some creep that doesn't understand boundaries. On the contrarty to the above, however, should someone cross those boundaries, you have every right, and perhaps sometimes an obligation, to enforce those boundaries. As a top, there are times I have had to assert boundaries not only for myself, but for a bottom that I am playing with that may not be able to take action for themselves (bondage, gags, subspace, etc). I have no qualms with being an "uppity broad" when I need to be.

At first a simple "please don't touch without permission" should suffice, and reporting the incident to the "powers that be" (DM, host, whatever) should they be available wouldn't be a bad idea for good measure Should the problem persist, the aforementioned powers that be should be able to explain things in a way that the person has no problems understanding; should you have the unfortunate pleasure of being in an environment devoid of much of an authority, by all means, bring out the bitch.

As far as turning people down, there is nothing wrong with short, simple, and to the point. In my experience, the easieast way to say "no thank you" is by simply saying.... "no thank you".

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RE: Thwarting unwarranted advances... - 2/12/2008 2:47:53 PM

RavenMuse

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Firstly you didn't 'owe' #1 an explination as to why, a simple "No" would have sufficed. In effect your 'being nice' stopped you having fun when #2 caught Your interest as it would have gone contrary to the 'fake' excuse.

Perhaps a little more confidence to be honest. "No I don't wish to play with you"... if they push for a why either the truth "you don't interest Me" or simple fact "I don't owe you any explination, I said no, that is enough" leaves Your options open.

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RE: Thwarting unwarranted advances... - 2/12/2008 3:26:13 PM

StormsSlave

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I'm with most people here. You're free and over 18 in America. You can be or not be with whomever you choose. A simple, "Thanks, but no." Would have been sufficient.

For me, if someone touched me, I'd probably turn around and swat them out of sheer instinct. I don't like to be touched in public by strangers, and having rather large breasts, I've been groped at parties, concerts, bars, hallways, and once on a bus. All of the offenders received a smack or a punch. I also make a scene occasionally. If they think they have the right to touch me, then I think I have the right to hit them. It only ever happens once. :) I say this cause it sounds like he was being sneaky and not the usual, too friendly arm around the shoulder or unsolicited hug. That I hate, but tolerate.

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