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Ask me anything you want ... - 9/11/2005 1:34:48 PM   
DominaLibris


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline 		Has any Domina received this statement in an email -- ask me anything you want, and I will answer it -- from a submissive?

For me, it seems to be the typical closing to an email.

Personally, I see the statement as a lazy man's challenge and have responded by asking the submissive to imagine what questions I'd ask and then, answer the questions as if posed by me.

When you see this statement in an email, what is your reaction?

< Message edited by DominaLibris -- 9/11/2005 1:50:58 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/11/2005 2:38:03 PM   
iamdownonmyknees


Posts: 93
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Durham NC USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaLibris

Has any Domina received this statement in an email -- ask me anything you want, and I will answer it -- from a submissive?


I may have done that when first starting out. Though I hope I said something about myself as well.

At least it seems polite in intent. Dominant women seem to more often be hit by a laundry list of fetishes the guy hopes to have filled.

When I was using the web to meet people I setup a small site that told something about myself. Both personally and sexually.

It gives you a chance to say so much more than you would in an email to a stranger. If their interest is sparked they'll read. Or it may tell them straightaway that you aren't the right guy. Surprised more people don't use a similar approach.

Of course the Dominas who liked my site tended to live on the other side of the continent.

Richard

_____________________________

Down On My Knees & Sensual Sadist

(in reply to DominaLibris)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/11/2005 2:39:01 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

Has any Domina received this statement in an email -- ask me anything you want, and I will answer it -- from a submissive?

For me, it seems to be the typical closing to an email.

Personally, I see the statement as a lazy man's challenge and have responded by asking the submissive to imagine what questions I'd ask and then, answer the questions as if posed by me.

When you see this statement in an email, what is your reaction?



Usually that's the end of the conversation as far as I'm concerned.

Because quite simply....I don't need permission to ask questions. It's a CONVERSATION. We both ask questions, discuss, let the topics flow.

By saying "oh you can ask whatever you want" what someone is saying to me is that they want me to do all the work and in effect interview/interrogate them. If I'm trying to get to know someone, then they're going to have to put some effort forth as well.



_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to DominaLibris)
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RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/11/2005 3:02:51 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaLibris

Has any Domina received this statement in an email -- ask me anything you want, and I will answer it -- from a submissive? ...

When you see this statement in an email, what is your reaction?


I write back, "Thank you," and let it go.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to DominaLibris)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/11/2005 5:03:34 PM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaLibris

Has any Domina received this statement in an email -- ask me anything you want, and I will answer it -- from a submissive?

<sni>

When you see this statement in an email, what is your reaction?


I usually ignore the contact. My own profile clearly requests they send an "introduction," if interested. I don't feel asking for an "introduction" to be an unusual request. Nine out of 10 men don't even bother to sign their e-mails, which I find a bit odd.

I also have a note that indicates if the introduction is not received, not to expect a response, because if a man doesn't have the confidence to introduce himself, or can't talk about himself, and provide a simple introduction, then I just know we wouldn't get along in person. Following instructions is a big plus, wouldn't ya think?

I received several e-mails this weekend. One came from from a man that completely ignored my profile request, but included for me to ask any question I wanted of him. I'm thinking my profile already asked the question, and his response...well, that was the answer.

Another one sent a cut-and-paste fantasy of "all" the things he wanted done to himself. I told him that he'd be better served to find someone to "serve" him, and to try sending original responses, and not his standard cut-and-paste fantasy. Same old story, different man. lol I wonder if this type of man thinks that women are too stupid to see through their poor editing. I even received an e-mail once, where the man forgot to remove the last recipient's name. I did respond to this man though, and his response, in return was simply, "Touche'!" How much do you want to bet he continues with his tactic though?

Thank goodness, this type of man is not the majority.

K

(in reply to DominaLibris)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/12/2005 7:16:24 PM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		My apologies ladies, I have been guilty of this.

I get into a section where I say "Well to ttwll you a little about me..." and I proceed to talk about whatever info about me I think is pertinan, ht/wt, years of experisnce, that I drive a pickup, or that I have a tattoo from a comic book. I put whatever seems appropriate based on the profile I read, and I have often ended with "if there is anything else you would like to know, please feel free to ask."

And, uh, yes I will admit to having done it recently. And I have done it when writing a submissive as well. But after this thread, I will definately think more about the message that my closing words are sending.

Thanks for a thought provoking discussion DominaLibris.

Nuke }:-

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/12/2005 7:33:25 PM   
sarbonn


Posts: 203
Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline 		I think I've been guilty of this as well. I'm getting the impression there are women who are so intent on eliminating possible submissives that they'll jump at the chance.

I know I may have done this in the past because when writing someone you're trying really hard to communicate everything about yourself, so you end with that statement to indicate that you are open to answering anything you may have missed in the initial conversation. It's not usually a challenge, an insult, or some kind of posturing. It's an attempt to put forth the rationalization that we don't always know what another person is interested in knowing.

I'm sure some can use that as their ONLY statement, and I can understand the hostility towards that, but when someone has tried to give as much detailed information and then offers the point that he'll gladly supply what wasn't included due to simple ignorance, I think that gets misconstrued as some kind of negativity.

Again, I've seen this kind of thing quite a bit here where there are 10,000 methods for eliminating a potential submissive, and then complaints that it's so hard to find someone of quality. I wouldn't be surprised if quite a few submissives just finally gave up and decided to go into finger painting instead.

Yeah, I know. I spoke out against the women of the board. Therefore, I must now be flamed. I understand. I know. I'm used to it.

_____________________________

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

(in reply to Nuke718)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/12/2005 7:52:56 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

I'm sure some can use that as their ONLY statement, and I can understand the hostility towards that, but when someone has tried to give as much detailed information and then offers the point that he'll gladly supply what wasn't included due to simple ignorance, I think that gets misconstrued as some kind of negativity.



Actually, I'll agree with you.

If someone's made an effort to jot down a couple things about themselves, THEN offers to answer further questions, it's not a big deal.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to sarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/12/2005 9:07:33 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I proceed to talk about whatever info about me I think is pertinan, ht/wt, years of experisnce, that I drive a pickup, or that I have a tattoo from a comic book. I put whatever seems appropriate based on the profile I read, and I have often ended with "if there is anything else you would like to know, please feel free to ask."
Nuke, I don't think this is the same thing Dominalibris is talking about (unless I misunderstood her post).
I understood that the sender only wrote "ask me anything you want".
You say that you provide the basics about you, and leave opening to be asked for any information, essentially saying that you would make further info available if she should be interested; and I happen to think that is a perfectly good approach. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Nuke718)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/12/2005 9:17:19 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Sarbonn,
I don't think anyone is going to flame you because no one disagrees with your sensible statements on this. I believe you misunderstood the post...

I hope no one has a problem with anyone who ending an email with that statement (or is it me?). I think a lady would have a problem with a sub/anyone paying no attention to her profile, saying nothing about himself, saying nothing in response to what is on her profile, but simply writing : "why don't you do all the work, and ask me 50 questions, so that if I don't like them, I can just complain about your questions rather than take the chance of saying this is who I am, this is what I'm interested in, I find you interesting for these reasons, would you please give me a chance to get to know you better." M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to sarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/12/2005 9:21:47 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Please don't mind if I chime in here, but when I get a question like that, my answer is simple.

"Subbie, I need your social security number, address, and date of birth, if you're really willing to serve me, give me your telephone number too!"

Some call it identity theft.........I call it a lesson!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/12/2005 9:30:05 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I need your social security number, address, and date of birth, if you're really willing to serve me, give me your telephone number too!"
Hey that's my reply to opening with "what size are your breasts?"! M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/13/2005 3:38:58 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:


When you see this statement in an email, what is your reaction?


Not only is it lazy and unimaginative, but it also sends out the subconscious message ''That I believe I'm predetermined to fail." And in all reality, there's nothing more unattractive than that.

I think that when you find a Lady that you know you like, you really need to write her like you know your going to be successful.


- The Ranger


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to DominaLibris)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/13/2005 5:49:10 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		If that is all that is said it comes across as lazy or passive to me.... if as Nuke and sarbonn have said it is put politely at the end of a mail I have np with it as it is showing interest and a willingness to share more if needs be.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/13/2005 6:07:12 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Nuke, I don't think this is the same thing Dominalibris is talking about (unless I misunderstood her post).
I understood that the sender only wrote "ask me anything you want".
You say that you provide the basics about you, and leave opening to be asked for any information, essentially saying that you would make further info available if she should be interested; and I happen to think that is a perfectly good approach. M


I also interpreted the OP comments to reflect that NO information was provided, but left it to the respondent to ask specific questions. <sort of like, "I'm interested in you, but you have to do all the work to communicate. I won't tell you anything about me, but that should be enough for you to be attracted to me.>

If you tell me "nothing"....why would I be interested?

I personally don't even care for the height/weight/hair color/or even 'have'-hair stats to be included, as I'm more interested to hear about the man, and more importantly about his personality and interests (vanilla included, which is quite rare, since the focus is usually 100% BDSM related). [Now don't get me wrong...physical attraction is very important too, but it's not the first thing I inquire about.] When someone is seeking a "relationship" (such as myself) there is usually more to life than the "scene." An e-mail response that is "you ask me" or basically empty, or just lists, "I want," "I want," and "I want," just is not what "I" want. I like a first e-mail to grab my attention about the man, not give me an assignment to pull teeth.

If I have to have an e-mail correspondence, with only "me" asking specific questions, then the man, in person, during conversation, will probably be the same way...not communicative, or waiting for me to hold the conversation completely. This has been my experience.

Communication skills, whether via e-mail, online, or in person, is very important to me. Without it...what do you have...casual encounters of no substance, and a sub with a gag 24/7, whether there's a gag there or not.
K

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/13/2005 7:07:35 AM   
DominaLibris


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you, all of you, for reaffirming that my irritation because a simple phrase is offered as an introductory email, is a valid reasonable impression.

We are all on CM for one reason, at least I am, to find companionship of a D/s type. My intention is to have a short chat to determine communalities and then meet and see if we are disposed to continue into a real life D/s.

How simple it would be if we all just asked and replied with reasonable statements?

Iamdownonmyknees -- Richard: Yes, a polite response, information about yourself on your profile, yes, spark the reader's interest. There is no reason for the recipient to reply without a gleam of possibility in their psyche.

MsSonnetMarwood: Yes, it's a delete of the email, without a verbal picture, how can anyone write to you?

Misstoyou: You are truly polite, I just delete

FTopinMichigan: Damn, but so many of us truly ask for simple manners, don't we? Signing your name to an email, is that a breach of privacy, are you giving me information to steal your identity? You hit on another issue for Dominas -- what the subbie wants done to him without regard for the Domina and her posted needs. How well put, we are not dentists, looking to extract?

Nuke718: Excellent, but at least you offer information about yourself, you start a conversation, and then end your email with what seems to most as appropriate -- if you need more information, ask and I'll answer.

Sarbonn: Just like Nuke, if you are trying to communicate, you are communicating and that phrase -- ask what you want, I will answer -- is an appropriate closing to a responsive introduction. Too, it was not hosility on my part to the phrase, it was irritation. Our world is small, and to have it inhabited with inarticulate souls pains me. As I see it, it's just one more that is not real, a player. And, Sarbonn, real Dominas appreciate men capable of speaking about views. I demand, yes, darlings, demand, an articulate strong submissive man. Strong and submissive are not mutually exclusive.

BlkTallFull: Agreed, just tell me something about yourself, paint me a picture of you with your words. It's not much, is it?

Fastlane: LOL, I love smart ass replies, but don't you think they would be lost on a simple mind?

UtopianRanger: Well put, yes, how ideal.

Oumae: Agreed, just tell me who you are?

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/13/2005 10:10:26 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaLibris



Oumae: Agreed, just tell me who you are?



I'm me!!

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to DominaLibris)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/13/2005 12:16:18 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Oumae

If that is all that is said it comes across as lazy or passive to me.... if as Nuke and sarbonn have said it is put politely at the end of a mail I have np with it as it is showing interest and a willingness to share more if needs be.

Oumae


Very true. The key words are:

Lazy
Passive

Again, this has nothing to do with a sub that offers information and tries to engage in conversation and then says "What do you want to know about me?" It's about the sub that says absolutely nothing other than "What do you want to know about me?"

When a man does that, he is either lazy or passive -- two qualities that I don't want in a potential partner. If he is lazy that's probably a characteristic that will continue throughout the relationship -- why bother? And passive is the other one -- and I think the more common one.

Or, it is more that his fantasy includes that the femdom will do the work. She will pursue. She will want to seduce him or chase him, and in his mind he plays the role of the one pursued. So he believe that the moment the interaction begins, he needs to play the role of the one pursued. Subs have a hard time "pursuing" femdoms. And I don't think it is entirely because they don't understand, it's because they don't WANT to do the work. They would rather email 50 femdoms and find the 1 that will do the legwork for him so he can feel pursued.

What's happening now is that subs are getting that --- in droves --- but by femdoms that want MONEY from them. So they get very irritated that it seems femdoms are pursuing him -- but only for cash. He wonders why no "non money" femdoms are writing to him.

He has to realize that he needs to do some pursuing himself.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Oumae)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Ask me anything you want ... - 9/13/2005 12:55:38 PM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the feedback!

No it's never all I say. Just like I never send one saying "I'll do anything you want, I have no limits, let me be yours" LoL.

I think an initial message of short broad statements show no respect for the individuality of the person you are hoping to communicate with. I'll even go with lazy, because it means the writer never has to change their opening line so to speak.

Have a pleasant afternoon ladies,

Nuke }:-

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 19
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