Finding a sincere sub/slave (Full Version)

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putersrus2003 -> Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/21/2004 3:33:46 PM)

Just throwing this out and if anyone wants to reply, that's fine. I have had several postings in several groups seeking a sub/slave for a LTR. I have had a couple of responses from ladies far away from me, and one close by. All, have been "just curious" about the lifestyle or have "just not found the right Master yet" and so on. It seems like all of them except the one close by are more Dominate than submissive or slave material. With one, I almost felt as if she wanted me to relocate to her just to be her Master. The one response from close by is married and only wanted a part time Master with a specific but extremely short time frame during the week.
One lady sounded so very good but of all the things she "said she wanted to do" she had never done any of them. Just fantasized about them.
I guess I am becoming frustrated and tired of the BS online with so many of the people not being straight. I do understand people being safe and making sure they are dealing with someone they can trust and depend upon if they meet, but, well....
Now, can anyone tell me a better place to locate a willing (hopefully has some experience) lady that will relocate and will be sincere about who and what she is and be willing to "discuss" things?
Thanks very much to all. And, be safe.



EStrict -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/21/2004 4:53:13 PM)

Hello Sir,

The best I can say is be patient. What you are looking for is out there, but any relationship takes time and work. A lack of experience isn't a bad thing, especially when it is coupled with a true desire to experience and if a submissive, to please.

I am the kind that never played online at all. I *jumped in* with both feet, and because of that I had tried more in my first 6 months than many I met who have been around for years. But that was right for *me*. And honestly, when I first started in the lifestyle, I wanted to play before I got involved seriously. Part of that was I wanted to try as many things as possible before having to live within someone elses limits, and part was I had just gotten out of a very long term vanilla relationship. Master, on the other hand, was a major bondage person, and had tried very little other things. But, he was true to himself as a dominant, and we have *tried* many things that new to him and even some that were still new to me.... Had I just worried about the fact that he was inexperienced in things that I craved, I could have missed out on a wonderful relationship.

Things that are major *turn-ons* for me that do nothing for him are used as a rare treat, things that he likes that I don't, well.. ::laughing:: Of course, he does seem to prefer the things I hate,, but such is the life of a slave....

Sandy



sub4hire -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/21/2004 7:09:39 PM)

I agree with Sandy here..but what else is new? She is a pretty down to earth lady.

I do have my own two cents to throw in too. When I knew I was submissive I tried to fight it for years. I did'nt want to be someone who was walked on...literally and figuratively. After a few years I realized that you cannot fight who you are. You just have to be smart enough...to handle it.

I too and I think most people have problems finding their perfect person. But then again...how long does it take you to find your perfect person in a vanilla world? Let alone our world. I would'nt give up just yet. Yes, it is frustrating.
Pointers that I have found that worked for me.

Make a list of your needs and wants. I do mean absolute needs. Look for a person who fits only the needs. Find someone you can share your soul with. See if you can live together in a vanilla relationship. If so..move onto BDSM. If he/she happens to have any of your wants as well. Then thats also a plus. But not really required for you to live a happy life together.
As you evolve together love will form. Those wants will all come in time. Wanting to please you. It really does'nt take a strong hand to lead someone who has a desire to follow.
Just be patient. Don't look too hard. Love comes when you turn your back and are'nt expecting it.
I'm sure you will find your one in time.

Good Luck,
Gloria



inyouagain -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/22/2004 12:43:21 AM)

very good read, super nice posts Sandy and Gloria!

2¢ worth:

Other than the major BDSM sites, assuming you have interests posted there, no.
Perhaps closer to your locale via groups or clubs, maybe?

You have to take the bad with the good, and let time be your aid, be patient... (insert metaphor here)

anybody want to know how to enter ¢ with your keyboard ? :)

Added:

sharlene,

Press and hold the ALT key, while entering 155 on the keypad, then release ALT key

(num lock must be enabled on keypad)

155 = ¢
171 = ½
172 = ¼

There's lots more... it's called the alternate character set, and number/token lists can be found in most search engines.

Inyouagain



cutesub4Him -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/22/2004 7:24:37 AM)

yes inyou i do i do and Y/you are all right. it takes time and PATIENCE to find the right one. i am like you though Sandy, i didnt do the online thing i just jumped in with both feet and am lucky though i just got a few bumps and bruises along the way. i have found through exploration that there are alot of things i have missed out on all my life that i love but its what i dont like that Master loves.Is it a Dom thing Sandy?
sharlene



MizSuz -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/22/2004 7:29:26 AM)

putersrus:

You haven't said whether or not your search has extended beyond the computer. Have you gone out to meet people in your local scene? Munches, sloshes, demos, workshops, parties, etc.?

You may find that connecting with someone r/t is much easier this way. I'm not saying you can't find someone great online, only that it's an additional hurdle when you are ready to go r/t. I've come to learn that I tend to see people the way I want to see them when it's all initially online, therefore I don't spend a lot of time playing getting to know you online with people I don't know r/t. Once we've connected r/t I am usually much more willing to use online as a communication tool.

If you're interested in finding your local scene I can provide you with a link or two to start looking. All this assumes you haven't already moved your search r/t. If you have, disregard this post.



EStrict -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/22/2004 12:06:08 PM)

::Laughing:: I think it's more a man thing Cute. It's like pulling the wings off fly's so you can make them race and see who wins.

Sandy



MsAkasha8 -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/23/2004 4:40:34 AM)

I have a different complaint, which has caused me to change my profile. I was looking to add a serving submissive to my household. I stated what I wanted and that all responses should be spell checked, written with etiquette and have referrals. What I received were one or two so called sentanced replys, that I could barely decipher. Even if you are inexperienced in this lifestyle. I would think that sometime in your life that you have had to go for a job interview. Is that how you would write your resume? I have been online for 7 years, but I have never solicited for a submissive. I am involved r/t in the lifestyle, but I thought this site was interesting. I have received over 35 responses and not one of them would have passed a second grade spelling test. Has anyone else encountered this problem?
Mistress Akasha



ShadowHwk -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/23/2004 6:42:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAkasha8

I have received over 35 responses and not one of them would have passed a second grade spelling test. Has anyone else encountered this problem?
Mistress Akasha


Mistress Akasha,

My pet peeve is spelling and poor grammar (Thank you SherriA for judiciously proof-reading my posts!!). Now I am not the world’s greatest speller, but damn I do know how to at least use a spell checker. Why would anyone post an ad and not at least spell check the damn thing first? The ad is the first impression. I like the resume analogy, because in some ways that is what a profile on this site can be.

Terry
AKA ShadowHwk



MsAkasha8 -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/23/2004 7:03:16 AM)

Thank you Terry AKA ShadowHwk, everytime I have brought up this subject, I have been flamed for being too picky. That I should look past the poor spelling, bad grammar, and look for the person behind it. My feelings on this are "Bullsh*t". I don't want an ignorant or uneducated submissive. If I wanted that, I would purchase a dog.
Sorry if I have gotten off point. My first indication that a sub/slave is sincere is if they challange themselves.



sub4hire -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/23/2004 10:45:22 AM)

MsAkasha with all due respect I think it is because you are searching here. The internet I mean. It seems no matter what "ad" site or dating site you go to. You are always going to find those who well just are'nt up to par.
Collarme...where I think the message boards are the heart of the site. The best I've ever seen online. They are primarily comprised of good people. The rest of the site. Its vulnerable to the trolls as some say. Or the people seeking fantasy only.
My profile clearly states I am seeking no one but friends within the lifestyle. Yet, daily I get e-mail from others asking where I live? Can they dominate me? The list goes on and on.
As far as e-mail protocal goes. I answer them..laughing inside. Knowing full well if I were actually searching these people would be eliminated from the very first e-mail.
So, I think you're just experiencing what we all have at one time or another. As you said, this is the first time you've actually searched. Well, you've delved in head first and it does'nt get much better than it is now. I know that is'nt the best news you could want. But sadly its the truth.

Gloria



JerryInTampa -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/23/2004 12:13:22 PM)

ltes not pcik on bad spllenig KO?

That siad, if you are running into non D/s or non BDSM people may I suggest you are looking in the wrong spot. I've been though sites like alt.com or bondage.com (and I presume here) and, while I've run into many a fake, I've not run into people who were vanilla.

There certainly are sincere people out there of both genders and persuasions (sub and dom).



Estring -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/23/2004 3:37:19 PM)

You would think that someone would take the time to make sure that their first impression is a good one. That means correct spelling and sentences that make sense. I ranted about this on another thread. If you don't take the time to proofread your email before you send it, what does that say about you?



SirDaniel -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/23/2004 5:02:11 PM)

Spelling is number one in my book as well. I also insist on the proper use of grammer. The oens that really get to me are the short cuts because the slave or Master/Mistress is to lazy to spell things out. ie U for you, R for are ect.



sweetieboop -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/24/2004 9:13:53 PM)

I'm so glad that this was brought up. I've had A LOT of people write to me that couldn't spell or had no concept of what I was talking about at times because of the words that I used. I'm no genius, and I certainly don't think that my vocabulary is anything to brag about. As a sub I feel that if I'm going to trust my life and body to someone, they should at least be able to communicate. LOL! I think that a lot of people think that being a Master/Dom means you can do or say what you want and your slave/sub has to obey. It's so much more than that and if someone wants to take care of me, then I want them to be educated. I don't think that's being too picky at all. :) As for you Sir Daniel, I use abbreviations sometimes just so that I can answer quickly. No disrespect intended, just an explanation. :)



JerryInTampa -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/25/2004 7:08:40 AM)

quote:

You would think that someone would take the time to make sure that their first impression is a good one. That means correct spelling and sentences that make sense. I ranted about this on another thread. If you don't take the time to proofread your email before you send it, what does that say about you?
They will probably think that spelling is something I take litely... though obviously mileage will vary.

On one site, I got a response rate (and I mean to detailed, specific, friendly emails which interacted with their profiles) of about 5%. By that, I mean 95% simply deleted the email in question without comment. Personally, I'm a terrible speller (and more signifigantly, typo prone) and the only reason the emails there were spell-checked is because spell-checking was available within the site's email system.

Still, you have every right to screen by whatever criteria you see fit. If you choose to not respond to emails because of typos, that is up to you. I don't think it's a particularly good critera myself.



sweetieboop -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/25/2004 8:45:42 AM)

quote:

the only reason the emails there were spell-checked is because spell-checking was available within the site's email system.


Just a helpful hint: If the program you are using doesn't have spell check, you can copy whatever it is you're writing and paste it to Outlook as a new email and spell check it there. :)



SirRichardHight -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/25/2004 9:16:25 AM)

With all due respect Sir Daniel, did you intend to spell 'ones' as oens? With all the bells and whistles offered in the CollarMe e-mail system, you'd think that spell check would be amongst them.

Offered in good nature..... hope you take it that way,

With strict regards,

Sir Richard



blknight1112 -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/25/2004 2:31:48 PM)

i know of a spell checker that works on collarme. In fact it will work in 99% of all IE browser windows so you do not need to cut and paste. It's called IE spell checker and can be found at http://www.iespell.com



ZenMaster -> RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave (2/26/2004 6:40:13 AM)

I think the best way for you to find out if someone is the right one for you or not is to "find out" about them. Get to know them and take your time. I recently got caught up in letting my emotions control me rather than the other way around and that dismisses the opportunity of getting to know someone. As someone wrote earlier, be patient. If she's the one, she will be the one, but it takes time to determine that.

May you be happy,
Randy



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