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Successful scene/play? - 2/11/2008 9:02:08 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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How do you as a Dominant, consider a particular scene or play successful?..What is your idea of a satisfying scene?...example..do you consider a scene successful only if the submissive reaches subspace?..if submissive has an orgasm?..if submissive cries?..And maybe what would you consider to be an unsatisfying scene/play??I hear much about some saying we had a great scene today, but never what made it so great.....Tempting

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/11/2008 9:15:21 PM

Foititis

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I would wager it depends on the outcome you’re trying to achieve; well that's my criteria at least. I mean you go out shopping for milk and come back with bread its pretty hard not to say your shopping trip failed.

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/11/2008 9:19:02 PM

xxblushesxx

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From: Kentucky
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depends on if you also needed bread, but just forgot the milk.

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/11/2008 9:34:56 PM

BlackPhx

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Talk about fate......Given the complexity of poenkitten getting to what I would consider successful experience is sometimes a long and winding road. Tonight was a very intense night for me and poenkitten and I do not consider the experince "play" or a "scene" as the feelings ran so deep I fell into tears of joy as she danced on the tails of my whip. I am not sure I ever felt a connection quite so deep as when I was feeding off her and hearing her sincerly whipser the words "I love you master" as I tortured her flesh. Which is a unique situation.....most often sadism for me is like foreplay and ends in intense sex. While for poenkitten, the pain is the pleasure and needs nothing but the steady strum of impact to send her over the edge into the realm of ecstacy. I have a dark side and I do want to inflict pain and suffering but, I also want to be loved and desired for my cruelty......I consider success when I have melded endorphins and love and can feel her shake under the shock of the state I have driven her and feel her weakend breath as her senses fail her and she can do nothing but whisper my name and her love for me. My poenkitten is not the most submissive, a stumbling block as my sadistic streak is closly tied to my dominant feelings. Many times her SAM demeanor squashed my dominant feelings, taking my sadistic steak with it leaving both of us fustrated. But, tonight my fire could not be extinguished and my will unassailable and her body and soul yielding to my desires. Not everyone is driven to BDSM for the same reasons.... I was driven to find someone who loves me for wanting to hurt them, worships me for the pain, and we feed off each others needs and wants, feelings and experiences. Tonight was a success and one that will be repeated often. When you become one in feelings, desires and experience a heady feeling of exhaustion, excitement, and the images of them dancing in your head then, you know what success truely is. When you have reddened the flesh and they don't know where and when they are and fly through the heavens from you tender cruelties then you know what success is. When you hold them because the shock has them shivering and they love you then you know of success.

From the soul
BlackPhx

"I am not kissing your ass. I am dominating it with forceful blows with my lips."

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/11/2008 9:35:02 PM

Foititis

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Touché, perhaps my example was overly simplistic. If you derive a positive yet unexpected outcome it could also be considered a success.

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/11/2008 9:45:20 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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There's a lot of ways a scene can be successful- and some scenes might be very successful on some levels you never were going for and complete flops at the levels you were going for.

For me it's successful if everyone can walk away and honestly say it was a fulfilling and positive experience for them.

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/11/2008 9:54:02 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Foititis

I would wager it depends on the outcome you’re trying to achieve; well that's my criteria at least. I mean you go out shopping for milk and come back with bread its pretty hard not to say your shopping trip failed.

Alright fair enough..but...what outcomes do you, Foititis, strive for? Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/11/2008 9:55:24 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Beautiful!..Thank You...:0)...Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 8

RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/11/2008 10:08:17 PM

Nineveh

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A successful scene and a great scene are different things I think. A scene can be successful without being great. It can be mutually satisfying, or teach an important lesson without being a really great scene, but it is still a success.

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Post #: 9

RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/11/2008 11:21:13 PM

probablyknowme

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You know what, I am normally very resistant to the idea of sharing my personal experiences on this or any board, but I wanted to share something that happened to me last weekend...so bear with me okay?

I was at a play party one Saturday, for the first time in a month, without my regular Mr. Top. I met up with a couple of Dom-ly friends of mine, and we discussed how I really needed to play hard and we decided to go for it. The scene progressed really well, nice warm-up, processing the pain, riding it, and then it turned very primal. (Nothing new with me....I tend to growl, hiss, cuss, and generally make an ass out of myself in scene *insert wry little smile here* Hey I never claimed to be a "good" submissive, just a good masochist okay?) What really surprised me was when the Dom that was scening with me at that point got out a particularly heavy cane and proceeded to whack me with it, I started to cry. Now, I have been in this lifestyle for more years than I like to admit to, and I have never been brought to tears in scene, but this time, it was really a pressure valve for me. I was either going to orgasm like gangbusters or cry, and my body decided the tears were the thing to do. Well, to say the least we called a stop to the scene, mainly cause I was a little freaked, and the Dom just kinda held me and let me cry.

While at the time, I was freaked out by my tears, I have since decided that this was a very very good scene. I am hesitant to say that I was freed, but that's really what it felt like. I was free to just let all of my stress and tension go through my tears. To not have to be strong for a bit, and just be...it was really good.

The Dom-ly friend and I have become closer friends I think since then.

kat

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Post #: 10

RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/12/2008 2:57:10 AM

CelticPrince

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Tempting,

There are so good common sense replies already, but my take is simply this, whether on line or r/t, a successful scene is one that leave you pleased with the content and finish for at least one side of the slash and sometimes both sides.

CP

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 11

RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/12/2008 6:20:30 AM

ExtremeOwnerIL

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Joined: 10/19/2006
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Here's the thing for me - I have a hard time associating 'success'/'failure' with the things we do. It makes it feel like it's this goal or job or something. When I'm doing things with my girl, it's an expression of energy and what we have. I know, that sounds flowery *laugh*, but to me, it's like singing or dancing - the pleasure is the act and the flow, not the end result.

Arg, words are not helping this morning, perhaps if I wave my hands, that will make it all clear? *laugh*

Regards,
EO

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/12/2008 7:44:02 AM

TotalState

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Joined: 9/3/2007
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Oh, that's easy: Grinning faces and a red bottom. :)

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/12/2008 8:07:29 AM

domahpet

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From: Santa Rosa
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i havent scened in so long i cant remember

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/12/2008 8:16:38 AM

Taboo4Two

Posts: 170
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: NH, TX
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Many scenes are without expectations and are very successful. Others have very specific ones in mind yet fail for various reasons some are undertaken with the idea that this will just be fun.

When we teach whip classes I am often asked to whip someone for the first time. In my mind it is a scene without expectation because I have no idea how this person is going to react and where the scene will go. If it goes well then expectations might be developed as the scene progresses. In the end if I am able to introduce someone to the whip for the first time and they walk away without a fear of it, I consider that a success.

On a more intimate level when dee and I scene I want her to go to sub space. While I would not consider it a failure if she does not, that is my goal because I want to give that experience to her.

Domino

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/12/2008 8:30:09 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
For me it's successful if everyone can walk away and honestly say it was a fulfilling and positive experience for them.

With play for plays sake then I quite agree, however there are times when I am maybe pushing them in certain aspects, such as challenging/breaking down socialy imposed barriers where in the short term (At the point they walk away from that 'play session') they maybe not feeling particularly possitive. The possitive result comming rather longer term.

For example one play partner was very shy and self consious. However I chose to play publicly in a high visability part of the club. Afterwards she was still shaking and nervious, it was only the day after that the pride and sense of achievement started settling in.... that is just one example, others can be far more long term, but I'm sure the point is made..... I agree the result is positive... just not always immediately.

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/12/2008 9:08:12 AM

FRSguy

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For me it depends. If we are just doing an average scene for us then its great if nothing goes wrong and everything has a smooth flow to it and both of us have had a great time and have gotton some kind of emotional and or phisical release however there are a lot of times that we try new things or work on something that we are trying to achive. For those times it is partially dependent on how well the new thing or goal worked out as well as the above. Things that make scenes fail are usually things like not having equipment preped, being interupted durring critical moments and when I am not in tune with the subs feelings and I push limits that are redefined due to sensitivity or I dont push enough. In a good scene both of us are kind of in a certain cinc with one another.

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/12/2008 9:13:30 AM

BlackPhx

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From this little (ok not so little) bottoms point of view, Scenes are like Pizza (as someone else elsewhere said) when thier great they are really great, when they are not so great, their still damned good. When they are bad however, the fallout emotionally can be devestating. Then there is Pefection. Last night was one of those. Everything came together, including listening. His words in my ears, mine when he changed instruments and dragged me back to fight the pain mode. Timing, connection and Nirvana, a bountiful feast of pain for both of us, as he was able to drink deeply of my pain and I to give it to him. When it all comes together like a concerto, musicians skill, the music, the purity of the instruments, the echo of the hall, the hush of the audience as it transports then into another world, it is Perfection and Success. There is nothing like it. No food tastes as sweet to me as the lust/hunger/thirst/satiation of my Master or is as filling to my own as the release of pain/pleasure/emotions/bounty as the circuit completes. We fill each other, even when I barely can remember I have a name or can manage to respond to his voice.

Rare dances that are as precious as a diamond.

poenkitten

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/12/2008 10:04:07 AM

Skully7000

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as a dominant: sucess means I increased the amount of trust my partner has in me. knowing that s/he feels good that they put there trust in me,increased the bond between us. is my definition of a successful scene. even if she had to safeword. knowing that she safeworded and I was attentive and comforting treated her submission with the utmost respect and care and honor.

sappy I know but thats how i feel:

one example of an unsuccessful scene was at a play party: female friend asked me to flog her. ok so it wasn't a submissive thing it was a sensation play scene. no problem with that...I was using a borrowed flogger but was starting off very easy with it learning how to use it and slowly building up. she was being very particular...which i can handle if you are polite about it but if you just want a robotic flogger arm then fuck off. after squirming around and bitching about wraping around her arm(mostly due to squirming) I wound up ending the scene. then she had the nerve to tell me she wasn't finished... which for all the readers out there: it wouldn't be crazy to hear if she was a typical dominant personality but she wasn't. she was very odd little person. i'm not sure if she was trying to egg me on or trying to top from the bottom.or a little of both. either way I just chalked it up to lack of chemistry.

Edited: I wasn't learning how to flog in general: i was learning that particular flogger because it had a curved handle with a large ball on the end and the handle was greatly affecting my aim and spinning...basically: I was learning "THAT" flogger not how to flog in general.

< Message edited by Skully7000 -- 2/12/2008 10:46:30 AM >

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RE: Successful scene/play? - 2/12/2008 3:03:08 PM

antipode

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I consider an endeavour successful when my goal is achieved.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 20

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