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heartcream -> Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office (2/11/2008 9:18:52 PM)
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A friend sent me this and I think it is pretty funny...
> Dear Mr. Minister,
>
> I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and
> still cannot believe this.
>
> How is it that Radio Shack has my address and
> telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v.
> cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal
> Government is still asking me where I was born and
> on what date.
>
> For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
>
> My birth date you have on my social insurance card,
> and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for
> the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance
> card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn
> passports I've had, on all those stupid customs
> declaration forms I've had to fill out before being
> allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and
> all those insufferable census forms that are done at
> election times.
>
> Would somebody please take note, once and for all,
> that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name
> is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that
> ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
>
> SHIT!
>
> I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off
> this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of
> this bullshit! You send the application to my house,
> then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is
> going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals assholes
> workin' there!
>
> Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I
> don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes.
> I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.
>
> And would someone please tell me, why would you give
> a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next
> 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something
> weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure
> as hell not want to tell anyone!
>
> Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the
> other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy
> of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60 !!!
>
> Would it be so complicated to have all the services
> in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new
> passport the same day??
>
> Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make
> sense. You'd rather have us running all over the
> fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off,
> then find some asshole to confirm that it's really
> me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where
> we're not allowed to smile?!
>
> (fuckin' morons)
>
> Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally
> pissed off!
>
> Signed - An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen.
>
> P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture
> and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well,
> my family has been in this country since 1776 when
> one of my forefathers took up arms against the
> Americans. I have served in the military for
> something over 30 years and have had security
> clearances up the yingyang.
>
> I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our
> province for ten years and I have been doing
> volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.
>
> However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify
> who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS
> BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA !!!
>
>
> Hamilton , Ontario Canada
>
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