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depression in a master - 9/12/2005 3:00:31 PM   
MasterCeltic


Posts: 27
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I am wondering if there any other masters or even subs/slaves that have problems with depression The reason I ask this is right now I haven't anyone in my life recently divorced and feel like my whole world is comming unraveled around me. If anyone has any ideas as to how I can beat this or can offer me some advice as to how I can get out of this damned funk I would greatly appreciate it.
Master Celtic.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: depression in a master - 9/12/2005 3:08:28 PM   
LadyofLight


Posts: 60
Status: offline 		Start a thought journal and read it, to see where your faulty beliefs are.
Find some activities that you enjoy,where we can meet some people.
Look for depression support groups.

_____________________________

Life is all about ass:
you're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
or behaving like one.

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: depression in a master - 9/12/2005 3:18:22 PM   
nmjardine


Posts: 116
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline 		Sub here. Therapy and meds (Zoloft) have worked for me. Through therapy, I found the strength and peace to finally accept this side of my sexuality. I don't think I've ever been more content.

You've already taken the most important step; recognition that there is a problem.

(in reply to LadyofLight)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: depression in a master - 9/12/2005 3:18:23 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		*HUG*

I recomend finding a good mental health care professional and first finding out if you have clinical depression or if this is just a normal reaction to the way your life is right. That will help you figure out what your best approach is to coping with the feelings.

Life is life. And dominants are just as much plain old human beings living life as anyone else, kinky or not. But it can so hard to admit that when we claim the role of dominant. I know cause I had to come to the understanding that first and foremost, I'm just a person and as a person I'm gonna have problems and feelings.

*HUG*

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,
TammyJo

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 9/12/2005 6:06:52 PM >

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: depression in a master - 9/12/2005 3:33:42 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Distract, distract, distract. Go to the gym. Do things for yourself that you enjoy. Get out and meet people, join a library book club or special interest organization. Volunteer in your community.

Good luck.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: depression in a master - 9/12/2005 3:42:05 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Depression and dominance

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: depression in a master - 9/12/2005 3:59:51 PM   
SoccerMomSlave


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		CARP: Faramir the Stupid posted this by accident

If you feel like you maybe your mental health isn't all that great - go see a mental health professional.

< Message edited by SoccerMomSlave -- 9/12/2005 4:11:32 PM >

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: depression in a master - 9/12/2005 4:08:22 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Dealing with depression comes down to dealing with the source of it. In your case you've already identified the cause, you feel like your life is unravelling, you feel a loss of control. You have the expectation of yourself that you should be in control, but since you don't feel you are or can be, it causes you to feel like a failure which expresses itself in depression. Sound about right?

A counselor could help a lot, it would be difficult to help you deal with it online and I would not do so publicly in any case. Part of what you need to do is deal with your feelings, your expectations of yourself, and identifying what of those expectations may be unrealistic. You also need to look at those parts of your life you can do something about and come up with a plan of action, sort out what you can do, when you will do it and how you will do it, then begin executing that plan. Positive, goal oriented action towards those objectives can be a powerful tool in overcoming depression. But the guidance of a counselor in helping you set realistic goals for both the long term and the short term, identifying what you can do and what is unrealistic, as well as just being a good sounding board can be invaluable for most folks.

Keeping a journal can also be a very useful tool, don't underestimate its value, most successful people keep journals. In keeping a journal its important to be honest with yourself. Use it as a way of communicating with yourself, putting your thoughts and feelings down where you can look at them objectively. Its also helpful in recording your progress as you work through problems which helps you maintain a sense of achievement.

Distracting yourself with other things is at best a temporary aid and only useful if you need a break from things before getting back to dealing with it. If you try distracting yourself over the long term it will ultimately fail and you end up fostering dependancies and an increased sense of failure. Same thing with drugs, all a drug does is chemically supress emotions, it does not eliminate the depression or deal with it. They can be used for the short term in cases of serious depression until a patient is able to confront and deal with the source of their depression, but frankly, most American doctors over prescribe anti-depressants. They are not a cure, they are not a treatment, they are a crutch. Crutches are useful as a tool until you can stand on your own, but if you come to rely on the crutch, you have unnecessarily handicapped yourself.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: depression in a master - 9/12/2005 6:05:33 PM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline 		I believe that everyone suffers some kind of depression in their lifetime. I take meds for mine because it became severe enough to try suicide. If it continues for very long, go see a doctor. Good luck.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: depression in a master - 9/12/2005 9:28:18 PM   
clover


Posts: 68
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline 		As nmjardine said, you've already taken the biggest step in recognizing that you might have a problem. I know that was the hardest part for me. First, I didn't even see it, although other people in my life did. Then after I did see it, I had to fight a little bit of denial. My doctor wanted me on medication, but I was afraid of the stigma and so many other things. Like many other people I've talked about the issue with, I tended to feel that society as a whole is overmedicated now rather than undermedicated. It seems there is a pill for everything, right? A lot of my hesitation with taking the meds was just ignorance. I didn't know, for example, that SSRIs like Prozac and Zoloft do not "dope you up" lol...they only have therapeutic effects if there is a problem like depression there for them to work on in the first place. I also didn't know that some people are only on depression meds for 6 months if their depression is mild and not chronic (i.e. a long-term "episode" instead of something you've been dealing with your whole life).
I did start the meds and am still on them now. Along with exercising, getting enough sleep, etc, they have helped me so much more than I thought possible. They don't make me happy...SSRIs don't have that capability. They're not magic and they don't fix life's troubles or keep you from feeling sad or stressed about them (like your divorce). But the emotions are more on the normal scale and easier to cope with because they're not being compounded by a few screwed up brain chemicals :)
Encouraging people with depression to get help is an issue near and dear to my heart, which is why I had to respond. What worked for me may not apply to you, of course. But maybe it will apply to somebody.

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: depression in a master - 9/12/2005 9:55:22 PM   
buffiyum


Posts: 119
Status: offline 		Sir,
We all of U/us suffer depression at various times of our lives due to things which happen which affect us. Sometimes this can develop into a chronic condition and sometimes it is something which will go away, as things get better in our lives.
i agree with what has already been suggested. Please visite Your doctor and speak of this to Them. They will put You in touch with someone who can help You in Your community. This does not not not not not make You a 'loser' or a 'mental headcase' k? It means You are taking back controle of what is happening within You and taking steps to take care of the issue within You. It means You are taking steps to make needed changes to deal with the changes in Your life which have impacted on You. It means You arent just sitting there allowing the depression to overcome You (which i have done a time or two meself).
Sometimes the professional will suggest using medications for a time yes. The medications are there for a help, that is all. They are not 'taking over' within You, they are only a help, that is all. Taking them does not detract from What and Who You are.
Sir, You are not alone. E/everyone on the planet has depressing moments. i know i sure do. Especially when things are not going well around me, well, that impacts how i feel inside.
In most communities, there is a crisis line and this can be accessed vis the locale Health Unit or the locale police station or the locale hospital.
i mention this only because, in the dead of night, when the depression often hits us hardest, who we gonna call? Ghostbusters isnt answering their phone and i hate to call my pals at 3 am when i know they gotta get up to work the next day.
That is why there is a crisis line, often operating 24/7. i have been a crisis line worker, just as i have been on the other end of that phone as well at other times. we dont judge - we care. we listen and sometimes, we can help with information and just by 'being there' for someone.
One thing i have been finding out and that is this: the whole entier world is a 'community' and there are many caring people within that community.
i wish You well Sir, and send You a respectful hug ( if You dont mind).
respectfully,
buffiyum

< Message edited by buffiyum -- 9/12/2005 9:57:09 PM >

(in reply to clover)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: depression in a master - 9/13/2005 12:25:18 AM   
DommeBMFS


Posts: 14
Joined: 8/5/2005
Status: offline 		A subject near and very dear to My heart. Thank you, thank you and thank YOU for bringing it up. I'm going to go a little off-topic here. Before I do, MasterCeltic, I extend My deepest empathy and hope You surround Yourself with the wonderful supports that You may not be remembering are really there in Your life right now.

I've found that people in the bdsm life/style in general are more...truly sensitive, truly intelligent, and truly sincere. I said in general and that's what I mean. I take a close look at all the truly charismatic and recognized famous people throughout history and realize that those people, every single one of them, has something in common. I've found that they suffered from a chronic or short-term mental (i.e., function of chemicals in the brain) illness during their time of 'enlightenment.' I'll take it a step further. Tell Me they weren't dominant and I'll be wondering what gave you that idea. Eccentric? Gifted? Call it what you will, but, I see in the balance of things that no one can have it 'all'. Having it 'all' usually happens post-mortem. Ugh.

In any case, to Me, there's not much of a question that 'birds of a feather flock together'. When I meet an honest one, or even a true dominant or submissive that knows who they are and where they've been to get there, I start to delve into family, social, life experience, drug use and mental health background. I noticed that most everyone I've so crudely categorized above suffers from chronic if not short-term depression or even some sort of deviance from the norm as defined by the DMV. Hey, I just see it as a sweet sign of all of the aforementioned: sensitivity, intelligence and sincerity. NO shame in that.

W/we all deal with intimate knowledge of O/our loved O/ones. Well, I would HOPE so if there is ANY healthy relationship at all. But, more to the point, understanding how a strike to the face, for example, might bring unconscious or body memories to a cherished sub is crucial to talk about with them. Body memories can happen during any session (verbal or physical) if the person was so horribly abused in the past. This can cause major depression if the sub is not properly cared for, right? Sometimes, I see that I wouldn't be able to relate to or take care of a sub adequately if I can't get past that. And, well, sometimes, it TAKES medicine to help. NO shame in that, either. Am I totally off-subject here?

I'll tell you I have found that the demands put on Me by the family, friends, society and workplace tend to drain Me outside the bdsm life/style. What would I have to bring into a bdsm relationship I ask Myself? Heh...I'll also tell Myself that I will take My anti-depressants daily because they keep Me in focus and keep Me from taking ANYTHING too seriously-this includes bdsm-NOT to be fucked with that way. Eh, doesn't take away my creativity, better NOT kill my sex drive, and, well, at My age, I can only hope that it will curb some of the hormonal rages that cause incredible flashes of immediate tears when I hear a baby crying. *smiles, rolls Her eyes* Yah, I know what I am. *giggles*

Best to Everyone!
DommeBMFS
aka Miss Colette

_____________________________

Is abstinence and/or denial proportional to bitchiness? If so, GAWD help U/us A/all. If all are bitches, where are the Dommes?

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: depression in a master - 9/13/2005 12:44:49 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I understand exactly how you feel. I used to feel that way almost every day of my life. The thing that helped me make it through the rough patches was Wicca. You may not agree with the religious aspect, but getting in touch with your own energies, the fact that you are sacred, and coming in tune with nature itself can help with so much of your depression. Just hang in there and know that you are a valuable part of the cycle of life.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: depression in a master - 9/13/2005 2:44:05 AM   
anopheles


Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		Celtic:

There is a lot of good advice being said here. You've already taken the first step, you've recognized and acknowledged that you are depressed. I would definitely encourage you to rely on your coping strategies, the things that help you feel better about yourself. I'd never be able to tell you what those may be, because they may be completely different than anyone else's. Try making a list of the things that uplift your mood, and concentrate on those things. However, if you feel that you DON'T have any coping strategies, which is entirely possible, then talking to a reputable mental health professional is a good idea, because it could turn into a very bad downward spiral if you don't.

With best wishes,

--Anopheles

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: depression in a master - 9/13/2005 6:48:03 AM   
grits


Posts: 24
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline 		Hi..hope that "things" get better for you quickly. Divorce, whether you're the one who wanted "it" or not, is a life altering event, and i think most people are going to go through at least some depression. If you want to get out, meet people, get involved in something, the Black Rose organization in the DC area is super (BR.org). They have meetings, workshops, socials and a yearly convention that is supposed to be one of the best. i've never belonged to their group (although i attended a few meetings/socials years ago), so i'm not trying to drum up "business" for them. They were a terrific group of peeople, very confidential -- not too much is in writing where people's names/addresses are involved, and it might be a way to meet people in the area with like interests.

If you're looking for something less "kink friendly", i.e., nilla, there are homeless/soup kitchens that always need help, as well as the Red Cross/Salvation Army, etc. i found when my depression was at it's worst, the more i needed people around me. It's worth a shot. DC is a unique city, so many things to do and see..good luck..

grits

edited to add:

Welcome to the forums and DC

< Message edited by grits -- 9/13/2005 6:49:17 AM >

(in reply to anopheles)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: depression in a master - 9/13/2005 10:35:21 AM   
MasterCeltic


Posts: 27
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		To all of you thank you. Though it seems that mere thanks aren't enough. Well I am going to a tharpist but I will not take any drugs. I have been clean from meth for near 11 years and wish to stay totaly away from drugs of any sort. If any of you wish you may reply to my email as well as I think I have finnaly found the site of people I have been looking for.
Blessed be
Be well and safe till next we meet.
Master Celtic.

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: depression in a master - 9/13/2005 3:50:08 PM   
anopheles


Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		I want to personally congratulate and commend you on your decision and ability to stay clean. I have seen firsthand the ravages that meth can do to people, and that determination should definitely be applauded. If you can keep off of that stuff, then i'm sure you'll be able to beat this.

Best of luck to you!!!!

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: depression in a master - 9/13/2005 4:20:11 PM   
MasterCeltic


Posts: 27
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I will say this about it I can still smell it every once in a while and even though I haven't done a line in that time I still get a kick like I had just done one. Now if I could get my memory to work right again I think I'll be good.

(in reply to anopheles)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: depression in a master - 9/13/2005 5:58:44 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Whatever you do, don't play the pathetic role where you just stay at home and don't do anything. Don't loose your job, your home, your car, and your life over it and just keep you head low the whole time. I remember in college watching guys not only drop out of school, but fail out by no longer going to class and not careing to drop for the incomplete. Continue to eat, wash your dishes, and do your yard work.

Just as the shortest story ever told that Mercnbeth posted:

Once upon a time there was a guy who was in love with a beautiful woman. He asked her to marry him and she said "NO!" So he spent the rest of his days happily ever after playing golf.

The bitch is gone. So go get a hair cutt, buy some new clothes, treat yourself to a nice meal, and throw a party. You're a free man now with some posible strings depending on kids and property. So before it all hits, treat yourself to a nice bloody steak with all the fixings. You deserve it.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to MasterCeltic)
Profile   Post #: 19
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