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BlackPhx -> RE: From Daddy to sadist - a one time thing? (2/14/2008 7:39:02 PM)
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As always my dear you are very eloquent and have a strong and valid point. But, there is another side to every coin, except for the people that used little clay balls as money. While it is safe and sensible it is not as thrilling as being with a person that hovers at the edge of out of control. As an affirmed "nice guy" I have seen dozens of women I grew up with literally throw themselves at men (boys actually) that were really really bad for them. They lied to them, did drugs, hit them, cheated on them, and at any moment would explode in a fury of violence that could have cost them thier lives. Part of the attraction of the Dominant/sadist is the fact we play in dangerous fields, with the possibility things could go horribly wrong. It is the big ironies of BDSM our play partners want the thrill of a dominant, passionate, unyielding tower of power and strength that could smah them like twigs physically, mentally, or emotionally; yet do not want to risk life and limb to be with such voracious, will not take no for an answer, take no prisioners kind of personality. If we always listen to our sensible side, then we would never ride roller coasters, fly on planes, go to horror movies, or work in a prison depriving us with the thrilling and exciting experiences that make our pulse pound and remind us we are alive.
Also the loss of control is not just a Dom issue. Many masochists lose control during the dance craving more and more pain despite the ill it may cause them. It can be scary and exhilerating when riding just such a pain slut but such loss of control and loss of communication could have dire consequences to the slave's body and the dominants psyche if he has any empathy. Should we run away every time their hunger try to drag both our souls into oblivion because thier needs compel our actions.
We are not perfect, dominants or submissives, and we will make mistakes some more serious then others. If you can't accept possibility of forgiveness then the pool of those you can or will play with will dwindle to nearly none and the ideal ones will already be involved.
Last counter point, running away from problems never solves them, it only avails you of the opportunity to create them anew with different partners. You want a Dominant that exercises control you need to hone his skills through practice, guide him through his exercises that spark your excitment, nurture his attributes that yield the greatest rewards for your needs, inspire his creativity that you crave. You get what you pay for in a dominant, so be prepared to shell out a lot of attention, communication, and most of all desire and invest it wisely and it will pay off in the end.
Tired and lonely in Houston
BlackPhx
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