Your Status

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Your Status

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Your Status

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Your Status - 2/16/2008 5:58:57 AM

andrewmac

Posts: 51
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline

This is addressed to female submissives:

1. If you were conducting a search on this site for a single dom who is interested in finding a sub, would it annoy or offend you to see a great many ads start off by saying that the person is married or otherwise not available? Remember, they have deliberately adjusted their profile checklist so that they will show up whenever someone searches for a "Dom seeing a sub"?

Would that offend you and make you resent this person for wasting your time?

2. If you are just here to make friends and use the forum, not to find a partner, do your profile settings reflect this?

Remember? There is a query drop-down checklist that asks what you are looking for. One of the choices is "Friends Only".....after creating your profile, this option is accessible via "Edit Profile" on the Home page.

3. Have you inserted something into your profile like "I am taken", "I am not looking" or "I am under consideration"? If yes, have you ALSO gone back into the profile settings to change your status?

If not, why not? Are you aware that your profile is needlessly showing up when a dom searches for available subs, and that you could easily change this?

< Message edited by andrewmac -- 2/16/2008 6:46:08 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:09:11 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Some appropriate boxes that could be added are:

Marred/Single/Seriously Involved

Looking for LTR/Prefer short term

Personally, I wish there was one for Masters saying whether they consider themselves a Daddy or a sadist (though there are certainly man combination - maybe a sliding scale would be better)

I am never angry with someone for "wasting my time" by writing to me unless they are rude to me. I do sometimes get annoyed when an opening email is only the word "hello", or someone writing a long wish list to me, or asking for an LTR even though my profile says I am not looking for one.

You do make a good point that the profile boxes should match what you are actually looking for. However, I think that it would be helpful if there were more so that search options could be narrowed.

_____________________________

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 2

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:14:40 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

So it would seem that you are the one who is annoyed.
I would suggest:
1. Get over it!
Or
2. Act all domly and stuff and write them demanding they fix their profile so your precious domly time isn’t wasted………and then cyber punish them when they don’t comply.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 3

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:18:40 AM

andrewmac

Posts: 51
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

You do make a good point that the profile boxes should match what you are actually looking for. However, I think that it would be helpful if there were more so that search options could be narrowed.

Actually, my point is that the options that already DO exist are not being used.
I'm finding that many, if not most of the profiles that show up when I seach for available women have a disclaimer inserted....."I'm not looking right now".

So....if they're going to take the time to write that, why not just go into "Edit Profile" and change the preference box as to what they're searching for, to "Just Friends"?

This spares them the pushy guys who will ignore a written "just looking" statement, and no longer will they be wasting time and annoying those who are conducting a search for available women.....they will no longer show up in that results list.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 4

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:22:44 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: andrewmac
This spares them the pushy guys who will ignore a written "just looking" statement, and no longer will they be wasting time and annoying those who are conducting a search for available women.....they will no longer show up in that results list.

It doesn't though, it does not spare me from people trying despite my stating that I am collared, that I will not move etc. I still get those requests or suggestions that DomX would be oh so much better for me than my own dom. To answer your OP, yes my profile reflects my status. No it doesn't bother me when others say they are involved yet still looking. Many want a third or fourth or fifth person.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 5

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:26:33 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

You make a good point, but keep in mind that sometimes their Dom might want them to keep those boxes checked. I am mostly a Mistress, but have been slave to one Master. He actually had me contact 4 other Dommes to see what their response to me would be. (He didn't have me come on to them, just wanted to know how they would feel by being contacted by a Mistress.) This was a big ego stroke to him, to know that others were interested in His property.

I prefer playing with unmarried subs, and would love it if I could find out simply by looking at their profile boxes. When I look for a Master to talk to I would prefer to talk to a Daddy. Those options just aren't available.

_____________________________

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 6

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:34:26 AM

andrewmac

Posts: 51
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

It doesn't though, it does not spare me from people trying despite my stating that I am collared, that I will not move etc. I still get those requests or suggestions that DomX would be oh so much better for me than my own dom. To answer your OP, yes my profile reflects my status. No it doesn't bother me when others say they are involved yet still looking. Many want a third or fourth or fifth person.

I spoke imprecisely. Not appearing in the search results when a Dom conducts a search by checking the boxes that bring up "subs seeking Doms" will reduce but not eliminate the pushy ones.

Yes, a guy could of course perform a seach for women under "Just Friends"....and proceed to try to seduce them. Upon which the offended person can block further emails from this person, and report them to the system administrators, getting their ISP bannned from any future participation on the site.

My proposal at least spares some aggravation, particularly among honest searchers. It's a little difficult to feel sympathy for victims of "pushy" doms who are too inconsiderate not to at least take the 15 seconds necessary to place themselves in an accurate category.

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 7

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:41:03 AM

andrewmac

Posts: 51
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

You make a good point, but keep in mind that sometimes their Dom might want them to keep those boxes checked. I am mostly a Mistress, but have been slave to one Master. He actually had me contact 4 other Dommes to see what their response to me would be. (He didn't have me come on to them, just wanted to know how they would feel by being contacted by a Mistress.) This was a big ego stroke to him, to know that others were interested in His property.

Really? And did this paragon of control have you make prank phone calls as well?

This merely reinforces my point. If a person is so insecure that he requires that kind of prop to his self-esteem, why would anyone want to submit to the weakling?

Showing off is one thing....wasting time by deliberately lying and misleading people? That's beyond childish, it's despicable.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 8

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:42:05 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

My profile says that I'm attached and not looking, but I still get tons of mail asking for relationships. I just delete. I don't have the friends only box checked because I'm actually not here looking for lifestyle friends either...pointless to me in cyber land. I'm only here for the message boards which is clearly stated in my profile also.

Sorry that you feel that other's profiles don't conform to your requirements of how they should be in order to save you some time. Such is life.

_____________________________

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 9

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:45:14 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

It's obvious both by your postings here and by your profile that you are very opinionated, quick to criticize, and demanding. Maybe that is the REAL reason that subs are annoyed when you contact them.

_____________________________

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 10

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:47:12 AM

DaddyAndCarina

Posts: 1789
Joined: 2/8/2008
Status: offline

Should it be noted he has been here FOUR days and hasnt filled out all HIS questionaires either ? He hasnt yet truly had time to get TRULY aggrivated with the bullshit here ? After creating this name several days ago .... I recieved a mail from someone wanting me to be his slave .... hun if you dont want someone to be able to flame you for pissy stuff ... dont post ... dont tell someone to remove thier post it just ISNT your place

Carina

_____________________________

What Daddy wants ... Daddy GETS ~ Carina

I am not simply a label ~ I am simply what he created

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 11

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:52:06 AM

andrewmac

Posts: 51
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

My profile says that I'm attached and not looking, but I still get tons of mail asking for relationships. I just delete. I don't have the friends only box checked because I'm actually not here looking for lifestyle friends either...pointless to me in cyber land. I'm only here for the message boards which is clearly stated in my profile also.

Sorry that you feel that other's profiles don't conform to your requirements of how they should be in order to save you some time. Such is life.

Yes, good manners are such hard work. It's SO much to ask. Can you ever forgive me for suggesting something constuctive that would save aggravation and time? After all....life is all about wasting time and energy, isn't it? Why have any consideration for others? Why suggest that things could be better? Why try to be the best person you can? Much more fun to look down on those who dare not to live in lazy resignation to obnoxious flaws. Why improve anything? That's just the way life is....why try to make it any better?

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 12

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:57:28 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

1) .. GENERALLY people rarely read your profile carefully. I spent considerable time and attention on my profile, and I would say 80% of the mail I receive is from people totally unlike the description I have included there asking me for something I have no interest it. I had 6 mails when I signed in today , 4 of them were from men over 45, living in America with their wives/slaves looking for either a live in slut or an internet bimbo. If my detailed profile and journal failed to deter them, clicking "friends only" certainly wont have.

2) ... we will include or exclude whatever details we please from our profiles, I you have a problem with it, get over it, move on. If it blows your skirt up so much, dont search online.

3) .,.. where on EARTH do you get off ordering someone to delete a post from a thread. Catize has the right to say whatever she wants, to whoever she wants, whenever she wants. The fact that you are new to the boards (17 posts when I write this) is the only thing stopping me, and probably several others really ripping in to you. Learn some manners, quickly, or you will find that the boards are as frustrating for you as your search.

< Message edited by softness -- 2/16/2008 6:58:25 AM >

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 13

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:57:50 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

This is a free site run by volunteers. I'm sure if you contacted the administration and offered to help reconfigure things they'd appreciate it. Instead you approach the boards with a typical complaining thread of a new poster. If you don't like how the site is set up then leave. I think I've been very nice in my answer. I could have said that you sounded like an annoying, control freak twit, but I didn't.

_____________________________

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 14

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 6:58:08 AM

andrewmac

Posts: 51
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

It's obvious both by your postings here and by your profile that you are very opinionated, quick to criticize, and demanding. Maybe that is the REAL reason that subs are annoyed when you contact them.

I did not state that subs are annoyed when I contact them. I have never approached anyone who has inserted a "I'm not looking" type of notation in their profile with any sort of romantic or sexual proposal.

I HAVE recognized that this is a common phenomena, I've read about it enough: women often get unwelcome overtures when they are not single. I've simply raised the point that many of them have not bothered to take the step of preventing their profiles from appearing in an "available subs" search.

I did not state that subs are annoyed when I contact them. That you jump to this conclusion suggests that YOU are the one who is opinionated, quick to criticize and demanding.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 15

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 7:00:35 AM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

~chuckle~

Ok. Ok. Andrew, baby honey cookie sweetie ... lighten up a little bit. Coming into a new place and criticizing the residents works about as well as it would RT. I understand your point but the world doesn't change on your say-so.

Cool your jets a little bit. If you remember, I sent you a supportive e-mail from one of your threads and you jumped down my throat for no reason other than assuming I was against you, not once considering I was actually agreeing with you. Stop and listen to what these folks are saying - usually if there is a common theme, repeated over and over again, it has some merit.

Stop yelling, be still, and learn something. All I'm saying is that you will catch more flies with honey than you will with your fire dragon breath.

< Message edited by batshalom -- 2/16/2008 7:05:42 AM >

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 16

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 7:00:57 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

It's obvious both by your postings here and by your profile that you are very opinionated, quick to criticize, and demanding. Maybe that is the REAL reason that subs are annoyed when you contact them.

politely seconds that opinion

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 17

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 7:01:25 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: andrewmac

Yes, a guy could of course perform a seach for women under "Just Friends"....and proceed to try to seduce them. Upon which the offended person can block further emails from this person, and report them to the system administrators, getting their ISP bannned from any future participation on the site. Oh please. Any one can create a profile at any time. Offended? Not at all, it would be a bit sad if I were to be offended over something like an email.

My proposal at least spares some aggravation, particularly among honest searchers. It's a little difficult to feel sympathy for victims of "pushy" doms who are too inconsiderate not to at least take the 15 seconds necessary to place themselves in an accurate category.Funny, I didn't ask for sympathy. But I'm so glad to know that you place yourself on the 'honest searcher' side....

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 18

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 7:03:31 AM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

1. If you were conducting a search on this site for a single dom who is interested in finding a sub, would it annoy or offend you to see a great many ads start off by saying that the person is married or otherwise not available? Remember, they have deliberately adjusted their profile checklist so that they will show up whenever someone searches for a "Dom seeing a sub"?

Would that offend you and make you resent this person for wasting your time?

::Shrug:: It takes much more than that to make me resent a person.

[2. If you are just here to make friends and use the forum, not to find a partner, do your profile settings reflect this? ]

Yes.

[3. Have you inserted something into your profile like "I am taken", "I am not looking" or "I am under consideration"? If yes, have you ALSO gone back into the profile settings to change your status?]

Yes, and yes.

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 19

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 7:06:44 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

no andrew I am fully able to read and form my own opinions ... you came to the subs to ask an opinion ... and you are getting one .. the fact that you obviously dislike the opinion and are arguing with it tells us everything we need to know about you

you already had your answer, you wanted us to agree with you .. we aren't ... you're spitting your dummy

jog on

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to andrewmac)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Your Status

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094