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RE: Question please? - 2/19/2008 1:55:00 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
Dominant men looking for submissive women: 508
Submissive women looking for Dominant men: 205

Ratio of dominant men to submissive women approximately 1 : 2.48 in favor of the submissive women

Great job on the research Black.  The only thing your polling shows is that more dom men than sub women have joined CM for whatever reason.  If I remember right the world pop is 52% women and 48% men.  That gives the men a slight advantage in finding someone. Focusing on the thread.  So why bother to compete?   It's not like there is a shortage lol.

BadOne  

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 2/19/2008 1:56:23 AM >

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RE: Question please? - 2/19/2008 6:22:10 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He couldn't have 'competed' with others for me, because I only see one person at a time. I don't handle multiple casual dating partners well so I don't do that. If I'm talking to one person, I keep talking to them until I decide we do or don't have compatibility. When I decided that I didn't, I then started talking to someone else.

It turns out he was chatting with others when he first emailed me, but within two weeks, he had stopped to concentrate on me. I certainly didn't compete with the others because I didn't even know about them until after he'd stopped talking to them.

Competition isn't my kink. I don't get off on two guys duking it out over me. I'd be more likely to walk out on both as overly aggressive, sophomoric types, not mature adults.

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RE: Question please? - 2/19/2008 6:40:22 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I don't know how much of it is competition and how much is simply not knowing what is going on in another person's abstract (the terminology I use to describe the fuzziness of on-line courting).  I always assume that someone is talking to others and probably in the same manner he is talking to me until it becomes apparent there is something special possibly brewing.  I don't consider that I am competing with other girls.  We will either have something special or we won't.  I don't worry that I'm not good enough or that I have to beat the competition.  I know what I bring to a relationship and I am confident in that.  When I go on the other side and see how much more blue there is than pink, I can't help but to think that women are in the driver's seat when it comes to picking a partner.  There are plenty of choices out there for those of us wearing pink.  I can see how men would be more competitive as there doesn't seem to be a ton of pink to choose from.  I should mention that I have my parameters set to showing only those with pics, so my view would perhaps be different if I had my parameters set differently.

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RE: Question please? - 2/19/2008 7:00:57 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I don't know how much of it is competition and how much is simply not knowing what is going on in another person's abstract (the terminology I use to describe the fuzziness of on-line courting).  I always assume that someone is talking to others and probably in the same manner he is talking to me until it becomes apparent there is something special possibly brewing.  I don't consider that I am competing with other girls.  We will either have something special or we won't.  I don't worry that I'm not good enough or that I have to beat the competition.  I know what I bring to a relationship and I am confident in that.  When I go on the other side and see how much more blue there is than pink, I can't help but to think that women are in the driver's seat when it comes to picking a partner.  There are plenty of choices out there for those of us wearing pink.  I can see how men would be more competitive as there doesn't seem to be a ton of pink to choose from.  I should mention that I have my parameters set to showing only those with pics, so my view would perhaps be different if I had my parameters set differently.


That sure is true if you limit yourself to online "dating" on CM.  Which is something I can't wrap my mind around.  I don't understand online dating period.  I realize it works for some folks just not my kink.

BadOne

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RE: Question please? - 2/19/2008 7:05:04 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		My little thesis was meant for cm only, with no consideration of other dating sites, etc.

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RE: Question please? - 2/19/2008 7:19:28 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		That kinda was my point if you put all your eggs in one basket it leads to disapointment.

BadOne

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
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RE: Question please? - 2/19/2008 8:32:44 AM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

If you are competing for a person, the prize is not worth the competition. You are either the best or you are not. Quiet confidence wins out over obvious displays of one-upmanship.

Cali



Well said.

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RE: Question please? - 2/19/2008 8:39:52 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I have had experiance of the reverse where Doms plays subs off each other normally using the term "under consideration" (which i think should be made into an expletive) I dont think that I personally would ever play two Doms off each other because it goes against my nature. I feel that when it gets to the stage of considering collaring you have to devote as much of your time to the Dom as you cant, I dont know if I would have the capacity to give enough attention to both. Also isnt being submissive about pleaseing the Dominant? surely making him compete for you would not be pleasing to him? Games in general are totally not my thing.

Of course in regards to online I will talk to numerous people, but even then most of my effort tends to be on one with the rest as posible fall backs just in case. I tend to realise pretty quickly if the person I am talking to is the kind of person that I would be able to submit to and so dont bother with anything less than that because a) its a waste of time and b) its not really fair on the other person.

By the time that someone is considering being collared one would assume that they know the Dominant very well if they were genuienly interested in either then I dont think they would need the back up, it seems to me a sign that they arent really taking it very seriously.


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RE: Question please? - 2/19/2008 6:05:33 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		You are absolutely right. I also pointed out the limitations of the survey in the post, it is a far cry from a real scientific study in any way or shape. But, with all of it's limitations it is the only real way of polling a large diverse cross section of the country I could think of within my means. I am more than willing to listen and learn and was wondering if you might have any ideas on how to come up with more accurate numbers within realistic means of my time. And you are absolutely right about the eggs in the basket and if I understand your philosophy correctly it is better to recruit from the "vanilla" realms and not worry about the pool of submissives at all. That is the thinking outside of the box I love. Btw the ratio is actually 101 men to every 100 women world wide if you believe the 2004 report of the UN statistical branch UN 2004 report page 27. The big problem about women to men world ratio is the relative age catagories spread. Men actually out number women in the 1-18 catagory. Women catch up and far surpass the number men as the age catagories go up. Wiki source link. CIA source link. GeoHive source link.  I full agree with your assertion one should not limit yourself to one pool though and I give you kudos on that insight. With the local anomolies in other countries caused by war, pestilience and other factors where the woman to men ratio is actually higher, if you have the resources to immigrate to another country your chance become much higher to find compatibility My only concern is how compatiable many of these vanillia women would be to the kink lifestyle. But again that is another question for another thread. 

Learning more every day
BlackPhx

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RE: Question please? - 2/20/2008 10:03:08 AM   
Chocodelite4U


Posts: 34
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Status: offline 		I'm the fisherman not the fish,

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