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RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:40:33 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

having someone who loves you...opens up so many possibilities and a ton of GOOD emotions.

if your alone...there is little chance that you will be happy. humans need to have people around them. it changes you soooooooooo much. and once you lose someone you just go into depression.

im alone...have been alone all my life. because i am different. my so called friends left me when i came out.. and that totally changed my self esteem for the crapper. very little positive in my life right now. but im still living. i can not say that i love myself...but i can say i dont hate myself. i need a spark in my life. it will give me energy and positive feelings. if (thats a big if) it ever happens that someone loves me...my life will completely change for the better.

I enjoy reading your posts faery, you are such a light to many on here.
I hope and pray you learn to love and appreciate yourself more.

You are a lovely person, and you must learn to love YOU.
I am having some "A HA" moments here.
{{{{{{Here is a cyber hug.}}}}}}
Come join MzMia's learn to love the hell out of yourself class.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 21

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:41:04 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

If you don't interrupt your love for others when you notice something ungreat in them then it should be fine to be just as generous with yourself.

I can't tell you how long I have struggled with this....and the beat goes on....

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Noah)

Post #: 22

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:42:14 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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First there is a big difference in loving oneself and being in love with oneself. That for-what-it's-worth tidbit done.

Now, I believe that it is our own unique set of inborn qualities that make us likable. We all have them. They appeal to different people in different ways, but we all have them. It is a survival thing. There is nothing lovable about a loud noise that keeps you up all night, makes messes, and nasty smells, but babies survive without parents normally murdering them because they have innate lovable, huggable qualities. Those do not go away with age, though they do shift and change over the course of a lifespan. It is that a person with a good self-esteem has had those qualities nourished and encouraged and, therefore, have gained the confidence to use them independently.

It is a special person that can see under the negative projections of a person with low self-esteem to those sparkling, lovable, huggable qualities and coax them out of hibernation and reignite lost passion and hope. It can be done and I hope that I have done it. I know it has been done for me. I think we often pass by diamonds in the rough as "lost causes" and what a pity. I wonder if we would have a cure for cancer, or the next writer of a new generation, the next great innovation in music, and so much more who live in fear of their own potential or in spite of it. My challenge to myself and to each that reads this post is to find that one and lift them up to shine like the star in the heavens they rightfully should be.

Lofty Dreams,
lovingpet

(in reply to WingedSnake)

Post #: 23

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:43:05 PM

WingedSnake

Posts: 61
Joined: 2/8/2007
From: Dawn Weyr
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Hai Greedy Top,

maybe airbrushing could help.-).

How come you have germen knowledge: school, relatives, military or work?

Ruth

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http://www.sklavenzentrale.com/?ZN=04082001

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 24

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:45:23 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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Love - I think it is possible for others to love you without you loving yourself... My ability to love is not dependent on your ability to receive... Perhaps it is that You are not able to experience my love if you don't love yourself enough to be open to that love.

just a thought.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Noah)

Post #: 25

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:47:00 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WingedSnake

I always thought, that the love myself as in a unconditioned always the same staying ability, was asking a bit too much.

It is more to the point of accepting yourself and being desirous of self-improvement without it meaning you are a bad person until you reach this unrealistic goal of perfection. It is not about thinking you are great or being stuck on yourself. I understand your point, however, and agree.

Regards,
lovingpet

(in reply to WingedSnake)

Post #: 26

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:48:30 PM

WingedSnake

Posts: 61
Joined: 2/8/2007
From: Dawn Weyr
Status: offline

Noah,

here comes my second language problem into play. With this sentence of yours:

"If you don't interrupt your love for others when you notice something ungreat in them then it should be fine to be just as generous with yourself."

You gave me the right words.

The deep feeling of acceptance and being at home in the world and in me are always there like the ocean, it is a well i can tap into. The moments of disturbance are the the times of change and the possibilities for growing, i wont miss them.

_____________________________

http://www.sklavenzentrale.com/?ZN=04082001

(in reply to Noah)

Post #: 27

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:52:37 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I enjoy reading your posts faery, you are such a light to many on here.
I hope and pray you learn to love and appreciate yourself more.

You are a lovely person, and you must learn to love YOU.
I am having some "A HA" moments here.
{{{{{{Here is a cyber hug.}}}}}}
Come join MzMia's learn to love the hell out of yourself class.

well like i said..i dont hate myself..i just dont think i love myself. simply put, i hate my life situation. there is no possible way out of the circle that i am currently in. what it does to me is kill any positive thinking because i cant get out of a rut. it is what happens when your left isolated and without friends. when your disabled and have no real income. those two things alone if they were different, i certainly would be different. having things to do is important.
it helps the esteem because your being productive. it makes you happy. my energy level is almost completely gone because of my health. nothing can be done to fix it until they finally decide to get my surgery done. (6th one) its been delayed now 13 yrs and should have been done in 1994 (10 yrs after my 5th surgery). but well i wont get into it more...its more for a private msg.

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I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

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SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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Post #: 28

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:53:49 PM

WingedSnake

Posts: 61
Joined: 2/8/2007
From: Dawn Weyr
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

First there is a big difference in loving oneself and being in love with oneself. That for-what-it's-worth tidbit done.

snip

It is that a person with a good self-esteem has had those qualities nourished and encouraged and, therefore, have gained the confidence to use them independently.

It is a special person that can see under the negative projections of a person with low self-esteem to those sparkling, lovable, huggable qualities and coax them out of hibernation and reignite lost passion and hope. It can be done and I hope that I have done it. I know it has been done for me.

snip

Lofty Dreams,
lovingpet

Thank you lovingpet for beautiful words. I agree and it has been done for me too and i try to do the same for others.

Ruth

_____________________________

http://www.sklavenzentrale.com/?ZN=04082001

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 29

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:54:50 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I know I love myself now. I haven't always, yet I was loved by quite a few people that saw things in me I was not able to at the time.

Now, I don't always like myself, don't always respect myself, quite often get mad at myself, frustrated or even disgusted, I am very self critical, driven to be a better me.......but underneath it all I love.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 30

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 7:58:46 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

I don't see anything wrong with loving yourself and being in love with yourself.

If anyone has a problem with THAT, too bad.
I remember when I realized I needed to love myself and be there for myself.

I have noticed that if you tell people you are in love with yourself, many can't seem
to handle it.
That is why I don't share this with most people {mainly at work}, I love myself in secret.

I am in the closet on this one.
I am OUT to my family and friends.

If it is a crime to love yourself and be in love with yourself, then your honor I plead "Guilty as
charged!"
To each their own.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 2/16/2008 8:08:51 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 31

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 8:04:44 PM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

My feelings have always been "To be respected you must be respectful, to be trusted you must be willing to trust and to Love you must be willing to Love."

I dont always love myself but have LIKED myself almost always ... and think that I have allowed others to love me as I have loved so many in so many ways. I still strive to like more about myself on a daily basis as I dont like parts of me ...but that is another thread entirely !!!!

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 32

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 8:07:45 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
Its been said..."If you don't love yourself, you can't expect someone else to love you."
I think I disagree with this....I mean, I don't LOVE myself....heavy like maybe. Now I get the meaning of that saying....but I think more accurate might be...Its easier for someone to love you, if you love yourself.
Thoughts?...

Thie cliche is as always more an overgeneralized idea- it's much clearer to say you can't maintain a loving relationship if you cannot accept love within and for yourself.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Post #: 33

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 8:10:03 PM

lovingpet

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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I am more concerned with people that hold such a high opinion of self that they see no need or desire for change when I talk about people "in love with themselves." This is really low self-esteem taking the form of flagrant denial and is just as destructive.

I am completely in love with who I can be and what I can do in this world. I aim to fulfill all the purpose and meaning in my life before it comes to a close.

My apologies that my words were not as clear as they should have been and I applaude MzMia for the encouragement she gives the rest of us.

Visions of the Best,
lovingpet

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 34

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 8:11:28 PM

gaggedredhead

Posts: 21
Status: offline

I think the opposite is worse; when you do love, like and respect yourself and the person you have evolved to, gotten to the point of really knowing who you are, dumping the bad relationships, learning about life and still learning, having and loved and lost, loved and lost, loved and finally learned and still....

You still have not found that special someone to love you. That fucking sucks, for me at least. So you can adore yourself and go, ok, I love myself, so why am I alone, duh?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 35

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 8:19:01 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

what if you have a desire to change...(which i do).... but you can not change (which i cant)...because of your situation.... my health and my income for instance prevent me from changing my current living state... i want to live in my own apt and not have to rent in a townhouse with roomy's. privacy is important.

i want to work...but i cant because of my health. being productive is very important and income is very important. i have never worked in my life and never can. due to my heart condition.

just 2 simple scenarios.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 36

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 8:19:28 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I am more concerned with people that hold such a high opinion of self that they see no need or desire for change when I talk about people "in love with themselves." This is really low self-esteem taking the form of flagrant denial and is just as destructive.

I am completely in love with who I can be and what I can do in this world. I aim to fulfill all the purpose and meaning in my life before it comes to a close.

My apologies that my words were not as clear as they should have been and I applaude MzMia for the encouragement she gives the rest of us.

Visions of the Best,
lovingpet

Thank you so much lovingpet.
It is sad, that people have to be in the closet about loving themselves.
It is more acceptable to NOT love yourself, and dislike or hate yourself.

How many shows do you see on t.v. about people that are happy and love themselves?
Maybe one day we will live in a world, were people can openly acknowledge that
they love and are in love with themselves.

It took me years of thought to get to where I am, one night the light bulb went off, when
I was alone and without a man/relationship, unhappy, etc.

I realized that my self worth was not based on being in a relationship/or not being in one.
I realized that it was OKAY to REALLY, REALLY, love my IMPERFECT self!

I did not have to depend on others to love and value myself.

I realized that no matter how much I love or I am loved, I will die alone and if I don't love myself, in this body, what the hell is it all about?

< Message edited by MzMia -- 2/16/2008 8:20:24 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 37

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 8:28:12 PM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

Sometimes we have to accept what cant be changed and look for other things/ways to feel productive and to feel good about.

Your health places limitations ....that cannot be changed......what can you do to feel productive .. creative outlets ... ??? etc ... its hard not to be able to do what you want to ... I know from experience ... but helps if we can find something positive to concentrate on instead

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 38

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 8:29:29 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I am more concerned with people that hold such a high opinion of self that they see no need or desire for change when I talk about people "in love with themselves." This is really low self-esteem taking the form of flagrant denial and is just as destructive.

I am completely in love with who I can be and what I can do in this world. I aim to fulfill all the purpose and meaning in my life before it comes to a close.

My apologies that my words were not as clear as they should have been and I applaude MzMia for the encouragement she gives the rest of us.

Visions of the Best,
lovingpet

Thank you so much lovingpet.
It is sad, that people have to be in the closet about loving themselves.
It is more acceptable to NOT love yourself, and dislike or hate yourself.

How many shows do you see on t.v. about people that are happy and love themselves?
Maybe one day we will live in a world, were people can openly acknowledge that
they love and are in love with themselves.

It took me years of thought to get to where I am, one night the light bulb went off, when
I was alone and without a man/relationship, unhappy, etc.

I realized that my self worth was not based on being in a relationship/or not being in one.
I realized that it was OKAY to REALLY, REALLY, love my IMPERFECT self!

I did not have to depend on others to love and value myself.

I realized that no matter how much I love or I am loved, I will die alone and if I don't love myself, in this body, what the hell is it all about?

Bravo MzMia!!!

Now to get the rest of the world to travel along with us. It is fun to improve and grow every day without the burden of it defining our self-worth. I am only ultimately accountable to my Maker and me (YMMV). The rest is all rather meaningless in the grand scheme of it all. I think I will go to bed now with those uplifting thoughts echoing in my head.

Sweet Dreams to All,
lovingpet

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 39

RE: Love thyself? - 2/16/2008 8:29:52 PM

heartcream

Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline

I have a friend who said to me at one time that she cannot love herself unless she loves someone else first. I like the feelings I felt when she said that, I like the slant on it, the different perspective. Intent to love oneself will bring a person far, I feel. I dont 100% 'love' myself all time. I wrestle on a daily basis in my attempt to embrace all aspects of me. I have some ancient imprints I have swallowed hook-line-and-sinker from so long ago. These judgements and imprints affect me without me even realizing it much of the time. I am in a process. I am much more compassionate and understanding of myself and others than I was years ago.

As much as most people have denied themselves in so many ways, we have also denied our greatness. It is a process to reclaim ourselves back to ourselves, it is a real adventure.

To Love our neighbour as we love ourselves, is an interesting phrase which can be deciphered in numerous ways.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat

(in reply to gaggedredhead)

Post #: 40

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