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MsBearlee -> RE: Personally i prefer a mature dominant lady (2/17/2008 6:50:15 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MistressFaye1
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In this day and time 18-25 year olds are exposed to far more than I was at this age. At 18 I didn't know my feelings and behaviors were dominant. Most of the Dommes I know that in my age group 40-50+ recall having certain feelings since they were young but because we did not grow up in a society where sexuality is so open, we questioned our feelings. I for one thought there was something wrong with me to have the thoughts I did. I didn't have many boyfriends because I wasn't the giggling, "write his name all over my notebook" type. There was always a seriousness about me. Nor did I take blind groping of private parts by them in the attempt to "neck" or "do it". Now if I was the one doing the groping and exploring, it was cool.
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Nods, I couldn’t agree more. Hell…I graduated from high school (in a class of about 1000, in the San Francisco Bay Area from a school considered to be pretty darn well ahead of it’s time (by the number of pregnant teens). And yet even there, in my day and age, most girls were expected to get married fairly soon out of high school. I’m guessing at least half the women who went to college actually stated they went to find a husband!
We were raised in a world that included ‘The Cleavers’ (the Beaver’s folks) and ‘Father Knows Best’. These shows, popular in the 50’ and 60s taught women that women are subservient to men. Hell, it was even hard for women to get the education needed to get jobs of authority: doctor, lawyer, etc.
As a teenager, if a boy and I retreated to my room to visit, we had to leave the door open; so I wouldn’t get pregnant. (Hell, I remember keeping this custom when male friends came to visit my husband and I, and he wasn’t home; front door stayed open!). When playing ping-pong with neighborhood pals, my mother made comments to me like ‘Let the boys win sometimes’. The whole idea was women were there for the pleasure of the men (thinks of seek’s rape-thread…ugg), and it was our job to let them know we thought them holier-than-thou (even if we had to fake it).
While I’ve always been pretty comfortable with my sexuality…oral and anal sex, watersports, wrestling, cross-dressing a bit and so on…It wasn’t until I discovered BDSM (about five years ago), that I realized the fact that I so enjoyed some of these things was because I was being ‘toppy’ when I experienced them. Of course, at first I was too busy keeping the guy ‘the stronger one’…so I thought a real, feminine woman (like myself) could only be submissive! I actually thought if I played to win, or told someone we’d be doing things my way, or was the fucker rather than the fuckee, I would be seen as masculine and bullish at the very least and certainly unattractive at best.
So, it’s taken me awhile to realize I am a strong and confident woman who enjoys being toppy with men…and that many people find that appealing. To the point that my spending 3 years in a cabin in the woods…off grid, miles from anybody (sans telephone, etc), learning to put chains and a blade on my truck, plow myself out, haul water when I had to, insist bears stay OUT of the cabin, chop wood, use a chainsaw, pee outside when the pipes froze, change a tire in the dark…yadda yadda yadda…is somehow awesome ONLY because I’m a woman and was up there alone.
I agree with Faye, people today see, hear and are taught things differently than even just 50-60 years ago. Our world is going faster, information is easier to get, and witnessing people doing things differently than what you see in your home is easy. IE: people grow up faster and have more choices. Not to mention the stereotypes are slowly falling away.
Embrace it baby!
MsB
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