CCFandhis
Posts: 8
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline
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Reading the profile my first impression was..( ok I picked it apart)..
-Spelling mistakes---
-He'd only been in the lifestyle 7 years.. almost a newbie.
-I liked that he wanted to meet people not online drama.
-I was glad he was a father-He had normal pictures up-I loved his smile-He wanted feedback-He believed in safewords
-He wanted to move slow-He was employed
So I emailed out of curiosity- {I had been involved with a Dom- thought I'd found the One... but too many red flags were flying--- and I knew i should end it, but kept trying to give it more time---} but saw no harm in meeting for a quick lunch during the work day...
We hadn't decided where to meet and were playing it by ear, since I was working and He was driving.... He kept in touch by cellphone and we decided to meet at a little Irish pub.It was a gorgeous day nice and sunny.
I arrived minutes before him, and waited outside till He parked.At this point i'm thinking am I crazy meeting some man for lunch, I have a zillion things to do, but I do have to eat.. so what do I have to lose?He gets out with this incredible smile, even better than the picture.. and his tshirt says.. "love hurts" and it is a spanking pic--- ok so he's not embarrased to be in the lifestyle-- bonus point 1. He gives me a tight hug....bonus point 2... he hugs good!We chose to sit outside and get around to ordering after the poor server came out for the 5th time to ask if we're ready.
The quick work lunch turned into two hours of conversation and laughing and just having and incredible time... i don't think either of us ate much. We were so busy just enjoying the good company. I asked a few questions, he was very comfortable answering, no hesitance no bullshit answers, just said it like it was. He believed as I did that a relationship was not equal but similar to a coin, each being a side of the coin. That even a D/s relationship should be 50/50 not a dictatorship. Key word was relationship not a playmate, not a scene partner.He excused himself to use the restroom and on the way to sitting back down, he gently grabbed me by the back of the hair, leaned down and kissed me on the lips.. Bonus point 3 he wasn't afraid ..... he had guts, then he gave me one of his famous smiles and sat back down. It surprised me that he would kiss me, but I'm glad he did.
Finally I had to head back to work, and getting into the car to leave took almost another half an hour, I didn't want to leave, I wanted to learn more..I kept finding excuses to stay..and knew i had to go back to work. I guess 5 phone calls from work were a good hint.
The same evening we took a long walk on the river and discussed what we were seeking, where we where at this time in our lives. He admitted that he hadn't been open enough in past relationships and I admitted I'd made some wrong choices along the way. He admitted his faults up front, and that paved the way for accepting each other "as we are" and not looking to change anyone. Being in our 40's it was an unrealistic expectation to change anyone. I think it was the start of an honest dialogue
.As i think back to those first meetings, I remember thinking, he's so kind, gentle and tender.. Is he really dom enough to handle me? I've been an aggressive pushy sub for so long, always topping from the bottom.. could this nice guy have a clue how to Top me? Over time I've learned a look from him can stop me in my tracks. The brat of the past has faded away. I have no need for her. He lavishes me with attention, corrects me when I'm wrong and listens to me and guides me. On the other hand, I have learned to slow down, to smell the roses along the way and appreciate the small things that make up a whole landscape of happiness.
The other big question was , is he kinky enough? He seemed so vanilla... so prim and proper.... He opened car doors, and still does till this day, he pulls chairs out, stands up when I enter a room to be seated, uses please and thank you. Do good manners make a man any less dominant? Just because he didn't discuss how twisted and wicked his mind was on the first date, doesn't mean it wasn't there... but I did worry about this issue. I went home and talked to a friend and she said.. why not give him a chance if you like him as a friend, at least be his friend, more friends are always good to have. I'm glad I did!I decided to give him a chance... we talked on the phone a lot for hours, once three hours after work, during the morning, and discussed everything from the weather to kids, to cooking and even D/s. I found out it doesn't have to be about the next scene, or sexual, a friendship was forming and respect was being given on both sides.
Weeks went by and we spent more time together. On a weekend we went shopping for goodies and then a nap and then he invited me, yes invited me, to a nice dinner where my leather corset we had just bought that day was quite the talk of the restaurant..and we had a wonderful evening at a club later that evening. He was taking time to know me, to let me know him, to meet as friends first before moving to more ... He would always answer any questions I had, and talk about how he was different than most masters.. I had no clue what he meant.. Did i ever find out!
He invited me to meet his mother, and have dinner with his son. He let me see all parts of his life, his home, his family, his collegues. He shared his days with me. I was not a small part of his life... I was included in his life. A big difference. If I was going to be part of his life, I needed to know the FULL him, not just the kinky Dom.Maybe to some it was too early to meet his family, but it did give me a big insight into his world. It helped me make a decision about him.
As i prefaced this post, he never once asked me to do anything.. i know strange... He cooked for me, took care of me, bathed me spoiled me worse than the prissiest princess... and I was soooooo confused!I was supposed to relax. and not to do a thing for a whole weekend I was at his house .. was he out of his mind.. shouldn't i be serving him? or doing something to please Him? I was going nuts ... ok the dude is not a dom.. maybe he has a secret desire to be a sub? who knows.. but he was so sweet.. what girl doesn't want to be pampered.. so I listened and relaxed.. ( and loved it)It was so ackward laying in bed, hearing him make breakfast for us, while I laid there reading a book. I had never had a Dom that forced me to do nothing... it was so hard for me to lay there and not be able to help, to do... He know teases the best punishment for me would be to not allow me to do anything for him a whole day, that would drive me insane and he is so right...
My greatest joy is serving him in some way and taking that away would hurt.Months have gone by and I've found that he is kinkier than my kinkiest fantasies, that he is more dominant than any man I've ever encountered. He has never flogged me, tied me down, hit me, told me to kneel or rise or to do anything. Ok that is a lie, he has told me to lay my head down on his chest and let the hurt out, where he has held me tighter ... He has held my hand and given me the gift of all the stars at night. He took me outside one night and wrapped his arms around me and I looked up at the heavens and was breathless. I had never in my life seen so many starts light up the night, it was as if He's ordered that perfect night just for me.To top off another weekend, he invited me to dance and COULD dance.. and whispered the song into my ear and I was in heaven!I found myself aching to please this man who gave so much of himself to me.
Trying to find ways to give back even a fraction of what he gave me in terms of tenderness, kindness, understanding and time... It has turned into a solid relationship, we talk, we laugh and enjoy life together while still maintaining our own individuality and grow and enhance each other's lives.I had always thought of myself as a sub, never a slave, but with time, I discovered that at no time would i not obey him -wait obey someone that won't tell you what to do??? - what a quandry.. but I found myself trying to find any way to show him my adoration and submission .. he earned it and deserved it.He's made me beg passionately ... from my heart for him JUST to touch me.. but no, instead he used a peacock feather, something so beautiful so delicate drove me insane.. He didn't have to rip a switch from a tree, or use leather.. a soft feather and his look could control me more than any rope or restraint.What do i think now--- well if it isn't obvious , I've given him complete control, i am his slave and feel like i'm the luckiest person in the world, to have him to call Master.
We have a long journey ahead of us, with ups and downs, but I know that he'll be the wind in my sails, guiding me home.
2/8/2008 10:34:05 AM [Report Entry]
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his is going to sound so sureal- I am doing one of the ... - 
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