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RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:41:01 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		The guy I'm talking about had a Dom and Sub profile at the same time.  It was a few months later that he embraced his switch side.  But for all I know he may have had all three going at the same time.  I consider it nothing more than being opportunistic.  I'm not sure why he wanted to be a sub because when he was a dom he told me "all femdoms have a bit of sub in them."  I'm sure he kept that to himself when he was femdom shopping.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:42:23 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mrscolden

have you ever been contacted by a dom and after a period of you get a message from the same person professing to be a sub? i have been on collarme 2&1/2 years and this has happened to me 3 times!!
of course they use different names but their photos tell the truth. do they think i have no memory? are they simply men who will do anything for kink, sex?


Many people have a variety of profiles, for a variety of reasons.

Dang, I think I need to change to another profile now.
brb

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:43:05 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Isn't that basically being a switch?  Aren't there a lot of switches?

(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:45:33 PM   
MistressDoMe


Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: mrscolden

have you ever been contacted by a dom and after a period of you get a message from the same person professing to be a sub? i have been on collarme 2&1/2 years and this has happened to me 3 times!!
of course they use different names but their photos tell the truth. do they think i have no memory? are they simply men who will do anything for kink, sex?


Many people have a variety of profiles, for a variety of reasons.

Dang, I think I need to change to another profile now.
brb


I'm back!
lol


As a public service announcement, I want to tell those that don't know,
that this is the internet.
You don't really know someone, based soley on whatever people write on profiles OR
screen names. 

< Message edited by MistressDoMe -- 2/17/2008 4:53:05 PM >

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:47:32 PM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Such a jaded view, Justme. Some years ago, when I initially joined CM I had a profile which stated I was a submissive. Infact, I identified as a masochist then, but still a little confused and had two profiles - never duping anyone, certainly wasn't after a 'quickie' as you eloquently put it and being thoroughly honest on each as to why I had a second profile. A couple of years later and after having extensively explored the dominant side of my sexuality I decided to delete the submissive one altogether. I am not alone in this and at the end of the day, we're all human beings. It's a shame that joining criteria stipulates that we tick boxes to 'identify' ourselves... Most people complain that they don't want to be 'labelled', yet actively encourage exactly that.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696
In the past..when I actively was seeking...and read profile afther profile....iI saw this so often...or different profiles with the same pictures...
guess many just want quickies....


< Message edited by MissMorrigan -- 2/17/2008 4:50:45 PM >

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 5:04:55 PM   
Arrrchibald


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		People change their minds.  Some ideas are just plain better in your head. 

I can't count how many profiles I've seen where someone says they're new and have never done anything in real life.  But  they "know" that they exactly what fetishes they "need." 

It's not surprising at all to see them reconsider when the real thing ruins the fantasy. 

< Message edited by Arrrchibald -- 2/17/2008 5:07:09 PM >

(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 5:07:09 PM   
MistressDoMe


Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arrrchibald

People change their minds.  Some ideas are just plain better in your head. 

I can't count how many profiles I've seen where someone says they're new and have never done anything in real life.  But  they "know" that they exactly what fetishes they "need." 

It's not surprising at all to see them change their minds when reality ruins the fantasy. 



I have an online "friend" that "leaves" Collar ME, about every 3 months.
Then he comes back with a new name, and an adjusted profile.
I just laugh, he amuses me.

(in reply to Arrrchibald)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 5:38:01 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
quote:

I still like the face to face lunches so I can sit and watch them.


And, hopefully, their paying for the lunch...*wink*
Couldn't help it.  But if someone is going to waste my time and try to wank me around, they're buying.


_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to SageFemmexx)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 5:50:32 PM   
MstrssScarlet


Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

This may also occur with a switch that desires exclusively dominant or submissive relationships with separate individuals.  Some switches do not like to switch with a given partner, but would rather meet each need in two distinct sets of relational dynamics.  


You make an excellent point lovingpet.  While pro domming I used to see quite a few dominants who were technically switches.  For some reason, the lifestyle doesn't seem to look kindly on switches.  I'm saying this from the perspective of people I know who are switches, but project a dominant image in public.  They don't want to be seen as a sub or switch, especially by their own submissive.  I personally would never sub in front of my own submissive (if I were a switch) and then expect them to see me in the same light when it came time to dominate them.  It's best (in my opinion) to keep the two relationships separate.
Every one of the people I'm referring to keep two separate profiles and although I see a similarity in them, most of them have been smart enough not to post a picture with both profiles and even vary their location by just enough to throw people off.  Is this deception?  To some people, yes.  For a lot of people, I think it truly is a matter of self preservation in their mind.  None of those I've mentioned are intentionally being dishonest or deceptive in order to gain any sexual favors.
Mistress Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 5:56:16 PM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mrscolden

have you ever been contacted by a dom and after a period of you get a message from the same person professing to be a sub? i have been on collarme 2&1/2 years and this has happened to me 3 times!!
of course they use different names but their photos tell the truth. do they think i have no memory? are they simply men who will do anything for kink, sex?


That hasn't happened to me "yet."
 
However...What about those who have an active male Dominant account but an active female sub account, as well?  i'm guessing by my experiences with this AND the amount of female subs who can't seem to make it to a phone when asked to...this is very prevalent, too.
 
And...not to hijack but a serious question to the subs...would you trust a male Dom that also has a female sub account?

(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 6:23:09 PM   
PhoenixRed


Posts: 174
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

This may also occur with a switch that desires exclusively dominant or submissive relationships with separate individuals.  Some switches do not like to switch with a given partner, but would rather meet each need in two distinct sets of relational dynamics.  I cannot explain why there would be more than two profiles (except, perhaps, in the case of a bisexual switch where four would seem the absolute limit for obvious reasons).  It would only make sense to approach the same person twice if the person is also switch and the dual profile party sensed that there may be a relationship possibility if the entire process started under the opposite dynamic.  Why a person would make multiple attempts at a person listed as strictly dominant or submissive is a mystery I cannot solve.  The role-committed switch is one possible explanation that would not be a matter of attempting to be dishonest or misleading.  It would be an exercise in efficiency and in being able to assert the proper role expectations from the beginning of an interaction (especially difficult if the other partner is also a switch).  Perhaps someone can expand upon this idea somewhat.

Well said. One of my subs is a switch who has female subs of his own.  He's both a great Dom to his women and a great sub to me.  He's very fluid and does very well in both roles.  He isn't on CM, so he doesn't have 2 profiles.  When I met him he had a Dom profile that read "can switch with the right woman".  I've known a few Doms that like to "walk on the other side" occasionally.  Nothing wrong with that as long as they're up front about it. 

I would note that at some point when there is a reasonably established relationship that the person explain the multiple entries and their purpose so their partner is not blindsided by the information later.  This is a matter of open, honest, and trusting communication.  I would make it clear from the beginning that I am a switch that prefers to have exclusive relationships in each given dynamic and why I have chosen to profile myself in that way.  Some purists do not want a partner who does both, even if it is not in the parameters of his/her own relationship.    This only becomes inappropriate when it is used dishonestly or full disclosure is withheld.  I do not see the need to do this for any other reason and would be suspect of anyone who I found doing this outside of this senario.

Just My Thoughts,
lovingpet


_____________________________

Everyone deserves a break from the person everyone else expects them to be.
In the great experiment known as evolution, evidently there are some people who's ancestors were in the control group.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 6:25:59 PM   
PhoenixRed


Posts: 174
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		OOPS! My bad.  My response got buried in your quote.  Here it is again, for the sake of clarity:

Well said. One of my subs is a switch who has female subs of his own.  He's both a great Dom to his women and a great sub to me.  He's very fluid and does very well in both roles.  He isn't on CM, so he doesn't have 2 profiles.  When I met him he had a Dom profile that read "can switch with the right woman".  I've known a few Doms that like to "walk on the other side" occasionally.  Nothing wrong with that as long as they're up front about it. 


_____________________________

Everyone deserves a break from the person everyone else expects them to be.
In the great experiment known as evolution, evidently there are some people who's ancestors were in the control group.

(in reply to PhoenixRed)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 6:26:16 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: mrscolden

have you ever been contacted by a dom and after a period of you get a message from the same person professing to be a sub? i have been on collarme 2&1/2 years and this has happened to me 3 times!!
of course they use different names but their photos tell the truth. do they think i have no memory? are they simply men who will do anything for kink, sex?


Many people have a variety of profiles, for a variety of reasons.

Dang, I think I need to change to another profile now.
brb


I'm back!
lol


As a public service announcement, I want to tell those that don't know,
that this is the internet.
You don't really know someone, based soley on whatever people write on profiles OR
screen names. 


OK, now that WAS funny, rflmao.....this gave me a big smile.......bravo!!!!!

(So, can we bury the hatchet now???? I'm really not as bad as you think I am, truly!!!)

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to MistressDoMe)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 6:44:42 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I have two profiles.  I am a switch, however, if I am looking for a sub, I will use a Domme profile.  I'm honest about the fact I'm a switch, but the way the search mechanism works, having a switch profile doesn't get as many inquiries.   I can't imagine contacting the same people over and over though.  I think that's just laziness and I get that as well.  There is nothing wrong with having more than one profile as long as you are honest.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 7:50:44 PM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilabbotsfordgrl

There are legitimate reasons for this to happen, including the person simply having a change of heart. Perhaps one of their profiles is the "old them" and they either don't use it anymore, or only use it to keep in touch with people on their friends list on that profile.

It doesn't necessarily mean the person is a fake/liar/jerk/etc automatically.



Respectfully, maybe...and that's a most unconvinced maybe. Here's why I say this. I used to have a sub profile b/c there was a time when I was subbing. When I discovered the Top side of me I deleted that old profile and sent the one person I had any interest in staying in contact with my new handle. If a person has a change of heart, that's all good. But then why not discontinue the other profile? It's just too easy to do. Additionally, there are are so many ppl who not only have D and s profiles, but I've been contacted by several subs who have two sub profiles...I know this b/c I've been contacted by both of their profiles...what's up with that?

Now I'm not calling anybody any names but I think practices like that are meant to deceive.

MNN

_____________________________

aka Ms Petal - Check Me out on the Web.

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 9:53:32 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline 		I think wankers abound.. but then you also do have honest to god switches. since switches do get the short end of the stick a lot do have 2 profiles, a Dom/me and a sub profile.

Hell when I was looking to be a bottom again for the sensory aspect I tossed up a second profile. No way in hell was I put that up on my Domme profile. It is a novel as is. I posted it on my profiles that I had 2 profiles, and on my bottom profile clearly stated I was a Domme with subs.. and if this squicked someone.. they could kindly move along. I got so much crap on my other profile I finaly gave up and deleted the bugger. I have no idea how subs do it. I dont even want a realtionship with the person really.. I just want to be smacked around a bit.. and holy hera. I think every troll came out of the wood work. I have toyed with the idea of putting it back up.. but every blooming time I run into a decent male Dom.... they want me to top them. there is no hope for me. LOL The only Dom males that dont want me to top them that I know well are married and not in an open realtionship. or Gay. Yup.. cursed I tell ya.. cursed..

Gwyn

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to MistressNoName)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 10:02:59 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		For some who are switches, it's a legitimate thing. They feel different energy with differenr people and find that lots of people are not accepting of switches. So, they have two profiles. I wouldn't have a problem with this IF they were honest about it.

The crappy thing is, these legit people are tanished by those who are just trying to get lucky and not being honest about it.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 10:21:35 PM   
LadyAyla7053


Posts: 52
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

This may also occur with a switch that desires exclusively dominant or submissive relationships with separate individuals.  Some switches do not like to switch with a given partner, but would rather meet each need in two distinct sets of relational dynamics.  


You make an excellent point lovingpet.  While pro domming I used to see quite a few dominants who were technically switches.  For some reason, the lifestyle doesn't seem to look kindly on switches.  I'm saying this from the perspective of people I know who are switches, but project a dominant image in public.  They don't want to be seen as a sub or switch, especially by their own submissive.  I personally would never sub in front of my own submissive (if I were a switch) and then expect them to see me in the same light when it came time to dominate them.  It's best (in my opinion) to keep the two relationships separate.
Every one of the people I'm referring to keep two separate profiles and although I see a similarity in them, most of them have been smart enough not to post a picture with both profiles and even vary their location by just enough to throw people off.  Is this deception?  To some people, yes.  For a lot of people, I think it truly is a matter of self preservation in their mind.  None of those I've mentioned are intentionally being dishonest or deceptive in order to gain any sexual favors.
Mistress Scarlet


Myself being a switch and have been for a number of years now I know how some of the stigma goes. I have been told that I don't know what I want or who I am. Personally I take offense to that. But it's true for many people that are either dominant or submissive they don't see switches as anything more than being confused. *Chuckles* It's very similiar to what many of the gay and lesbian community say about bi-sexual people. On my profile I state I am lesbian but in all actuallity(sp?) I am bi and have been since before coming into the D/s community. Does that also mean I am confused? Not at all.

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 10:41:02 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I've experienced a few things that are a little similar on here with women
  • Pro Dommes that have had a hard time finding a "real" dom, basically somebody worthy of thier submission.
  • Submissives exploring their "top" or "Domme" side.  Seems to be common so far with Bi or Bi curious women.  Actually seems there are a number of women that started off as submissives that grew into Dommes.
  • Dommes looking for somebody strong enough they could submit to. 

All and All basically, best summed up as switches.  I think many people avoid trying to label themselves as switches because of do much emphasis on D/s.  However, News flash for people.  Switches tend to ether Submit or Dom depending upon how they click with somebody.     

(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/18/2008 6:28:32 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Yet there are the rare relationships that find the switch in the position of being able to truly be who they are, but it often comes after a time of one being in a singular role.  I find it rare for myself to find the personality match to switch with a partner and even more rare to switch within a scene.  That is usually a matter of meeting a need that one partner is unaware of until after the scene is over and mental processing begins.  A switch has a foot in two worlds and most of the time, for me at least, they do not meet. 

I do not have separate profiles, but understand why some would and why some would not be so quick to make that common knowledge.  I would not say as much on the profiles as this would defeat much of the purpose of having separate profiles in the first place and I would be careful not to tip my hand in other ways as well.  It would only be necessary to reveal this if there was a possibility of play, and deeper discussion of the matter as the relationship progressed.  This is just my opinion, but it is a legitimate reason for having more than one profile and for keeping such information close to the vest.

Regards,
lovingpet   

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)
Profile   Post #: 40
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