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MaamJay -> RE: Asking for things... (2/19/2008 1:02:44 AM)
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In My professional arena, I have had many trainees come to Me, some for periods of 10 weeks. I have always looked upon them as a work in progress ... if they knew everything already, why come to be trained? I also realised, and demonstrated many times over, that My putting in a lot of extra effort with them in the first 2-3 weeks would pay dividends in the latter part of their traineeship in that they could then be left more to their own devices and I would get the pay off of some extra time to do my other work.
It's exactly the same with subs. My belief is that few, if any, subs come to Dom/mes perfect *smile* ... they need some training. This usually requires work and input from the Dom/me in the first instance which they would hope not to have to continue in the future. I would see your Master's effort in asking you to ask Him in that light - a training regimen designed to encourage and assist you to become self-actuating in this behaviour. It would not be intended to continue, and if I was Him, if it wasn't showing some fruit in what appears to be a reasonable time, I would discontinue that approach and try something else. In the long term, if He kept having to ask, then yes, that would detract from your submission to Him.
Your later posts about the fact that in the past questioning hasn't been well received by others in your life tends to support My idea ... if actively encouraged by your Master to ask ... AND seeing that this time it IS well received ... that will hopefully help you to break down this barrier. I think it's very worthwhile to tackle this. I also liked how mbes put it ... if you don't ask Him, you are in effect keeping information from Him and this is topping from the bottom. Others had great ideas regarding hand signals ... a good way of attracting His attention so that He can time for Himself His turning to you and readying Himself so that He LOOKS receptive to your question (then you don't feel like you're distracting or interrupting Him), and also facing away at first until you get the hang of it. Again, that wouldn't be a tactic I would allow you to keep doing in the long term as I am very much an eye contact person, but in the short term, that could work too.
Good luck Kali ... and I am glad you feel you can ask here [:)] Take that as a sign that you can overcome this!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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