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MaamJay -> RE: I'm new to this and would like some help... (2/19/2008 1:52:44 AM)
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Hi Kris and welcome!
1. Where do you find all the great leather and vinyl outfits that fit our curves?
Pandora had a great set of links there for USA. I had My own corset made by a good friend Michael of AladdinE in Perth West Australia. He has a website and sells internationally online and I found his prices very reasonable. It's also amazingly comfortable! He has a wide choice of fabrics and trims.
2. Do you think that being larger hurts your intimidation and domination? Like subs don't want or respect you because of your size. The reason why I ask with this one, is because in a "normal" dating scene or society it affects us greatly that we are bigger. I realize that this is well outside of the "norm" of society, but wonder if I should prepare myself for running into the same prejudices here.
No, if anything it enhances it for some men, they like to be Dommed by a larger woman. It's a bit better than vanilla world in that there seems to be more subs with a bbw fetish than there are vanilla males with that desire. Also, I have found that in the Dungeon, there is a remarkable freedom from "size". I am both Domme and sub, as a sub, i can be totally naked in the Dungeon and be totally at ease ... something i couldn't be in any other public setting!
3. For me it isn't really about my fantasies... I love the reaction and being in control of that reaction. So I tend to personalize a great deal what I do to my submissives. It's all about secretly what they want and like. As long as it gets me reaction that I want, and I'm in total control of the situation. If humiliation gets them hard instantly, than that's what I do. How many Domme's are the same way?
That's very much how I started out, and even now, I like to work with a lot of what they like BECAUSE it puts them into a state (subspace) that I like to see them in. I like the control over putting them there ... and bringing them back. However, it's not ALL about what they like and they don't necessarily get it when they want it either. I have become more confident in My control and My timing over the years.
4. If that's not how you are/how your Domme is tell me how it does work.
I am looking for a sub who is sub in all aspects of life now ... so for Me, it is as much about training them how I like My laundry and dishes done as it is about bdsm play or intimate service. I am looking for someone to live with Master and Myself 24/7 in a loving partnership. So I am very much the caring for the whole person type of Domme. However, there's no right or wrong way, best thing is to be open-minded and see how You develop! In the early days I didn't dare dream that I would be living as I am [:D]
Good luck and keep the questions flowing!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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