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Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/15/2005 11:43:13 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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Drive Through Banking Procedures

Banking Procedures

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

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RE: Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/15/2005 12:18:19 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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Hey! I hope Beth forgets some clamps on your balls sometime for that.
That wasn't nice. M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/15/2005 3:38:55 PM

WickedKev

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Joined: 11/26/2004
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Brilliant and so trueeeeee

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RE: Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/15/2005 5:28:21 PM

sanita

Posts: 338
Joined: 1/30/2005
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whoa... CRAP! i'm male!

wait'll i tell Master. *groan*

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Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

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RE: Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/16/2005 12:31:00 AM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sanita
whoa... CRAP! i'm male!
wait'll i tell Master. *groan*

Yeah, I must be male, too. These breasts must be sorely misplaced.

Personally, I don't find sexism funny at all.

(in reply to sanita)

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RE: Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/16/2005 8:57:28 AM

DominaLibris

Posts: 12
Joined: 9/3/2005
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Sexist statements come from whom, what type of person?

What type of a person runs away and hides from inclusiveness?

Shame on you!!

And of all places to be sexist, on CM!!

< Message edited by DominaLibris -- 9/16/2005 8:58:24 AM >

(in reply to MsPurrmeow)

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RE: Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/16/2005 11:44:11 AM

frenchpet

Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline

I just feel like some people take jokes a bit too seriously.
...

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Is that another outrageously sexist joke ?
Yes, but it's just not as good as the OP.

(in reply to DominaLibris)

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RE: Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/16/2005 1:11:38 PM

DominaLibris

Posts: 12
Joined: 9/3/2005
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French Pet:

Do we take jokes too seriously? Rhetorical, sp?

Or can you discern the difference between a joke painting a woman as incapable of a simple act, and a joke painting a man as allegedly incapable of picking his clothes. I say allegedly because a number of the men I know have acknowledged their lack of free time to shop and have gladly turned over responsibility for clothes shopping to their wives!!

What is it we say, apples and oranges?

Moderators: Am I overlooking it, but where is the spell check?

(in reply to frenchpet)

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RE: Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/16/2005 1:20:18 PM

frenchpet

Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaLibris

French Pet:

Do we take jokes too seriously? Rhetorical, sp?

Or can you discern the difference between a joke painting a woman as incapable of a simple act, and a joke painting a man as allegedly incapable of picking his clothes. I say allegedly because a number of the men I know have acknowledged their lack of free time to shop and have gladly turned over responsibility for clothes shopping to their wives!!

What is it we say, apples and oranges?

Moderators: Am I overlooking it, but where is the spell check?

You really take jokes way too seriously.
If I were thinking like you, I would certainly outraged at this http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/jkmen.html .
But being stupid, I just laughed.

Or this : http://www.theholidayspot.com/valentine/jokes_and_humor/menjokes.htm ... I'll sue the authors !

< Message edited by frenchpet -- 9/16/2005 1:23:28 PM >

(in reply to DominaLibris)

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RE: Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/16/2005 4:08:49 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

can you discern the difference between a joke painting a woman as incapable of a simple act

I respect and appreciate the value of a woman. I own one, and think everyone should.

Now if you want to see disrespect, since you want to take a post in the humor section to another level, I challenge you to watch ANY commercial, or ANY sitcom. The fool, is ALWAYS the man, in particular the white man. Do I find it offensive? Only in respect that the ad agency thinks that approach sells. But I don't identify myself with the ineptitude so I just find it humorous. Try it.

(in reply to DominaLibris)

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RE: Drive Through Banking Procedures (Male / Female) - 9/16/2005 10:32:00 PM

catie

Posts: 12
Joined: 6/12/2005
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Dear Merc and beth

You guys are fucking hilarious and I love ALL your posts. And yes Merc you are right - everyone (or at least, every decent Man) should own a woman. I'm sure my Master would agree with that *grin*

Keep it up for all the humorous people out here
kiss
catie{N}

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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