New in a collar need help !

New in a collar need help ! (Full Version)

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bostok -> New in a collar need help ! (2/18/2008 5:37:49 AM)
first of all i am very sorry my english is not good as i am from Egypt and English is not my first language i am a slave 6 years ago , i used to search and seek a Mistress to own me and not anyone just one who suits me so we can get along .. finally i met Her and i get collared and i am going to meet her in day or two , i dont know why i fear this event , i am afraid what i am to say if i took too much pain and cannot handle more , how can i beg her to stop without bothering Her , i really need Mistresses opinions , also i am going to meet Her , what should i bring with me and what i should not , i knew she is very cruel but she i caring , i am not into too much pain but i will take it to please Her , She is really wonderful when she cares and i like being with Her , this is the first Domme i felt attracted ot Her like that i am ready to take anything that pleases Her and a hint , our limits are one , so there will be no problem in it , just about the pain how can i get used to canning as She adores it , i never tried it or any whipping or BDSM play before . i really wish to hear Mistresses/Dommes opinion in that again i am very sorryabout my poor English . thank You Mistresses for Your time All

thetammyjo -> RE: New in a collar need help ! (2/18/2008 5:56:17 AM)
You should have safewords set up. If you don't, you need to stop and renegotiate before you do anything with her. Safewords may not be necessary once a relationship has been going on for some time -- meatlife time, not online time -- but for new relationships they are very useful and some would say necessary. Personally I would be highly suspicious of someone who didn't want a safeword in a new relationship.

MsLadySue -> RE: New in a collar need help ! (2/18/2008 6:03:24 AM)
You have not met but you already wear her collar. Perhaps you should have waited until meeting to be sure you are suited to each other before having her take ownership of you. Quite often the compatibility and chemistry one feels during online chat and even phone conversation does not carry over into real life. Should you decide to take pain for her pleasure, ensure you discuss beforehand your lack of experience with receiving pain and make sure safe words are in place and don't be afraid to use them should the pain she administers be more than you can tolerate. When she is aware of your lack of experience she can and should warm you up slowly to build your pain tolerance over time ... never should the uninitiated be beaten heavily right away.

MaamJay -> RE: New in a collar need help ! (2/19/2008 2:08:38 AM)
I totally agree with the others. I think it is too early to have been collared, but I know some do this online. It should not be binding on you once you meet in real life, only once you have spent a lot of time together and you know you can trust Her completely should you be collared. At this stage, the negotiations begin all over again once you meet in person, so you must be prepared to speak up. I can only hope you have some way of returning home if everything goes wrong, do not leave yourself lost and alone in a foreign country. Make sure you have someone you can call for help (a safe call). If She is a good Mistress, She will tell you Her safeword system ... I wouldn't recommend playing with a newbie without one! This should be a way to respectfully let Her know when the pain is getting close to the most you think you can handle and also another word to tell Her to stop! Many people use the colours of traffic lights ... green means go on, all is good, yellow/orange/amber (whatever you call the middle traffic light!) is the word that says "this is about as much as I can take" and red means please stop now! Another alternative is to use a word of your choice for the "nearly enough" word and "mercy!" or "safeword!" as the stop word. A good Mistress inducts a newbie gently into pain play ... uses soft strokes of the hand or paddle to redden and warm the area up first ... then proceeds cautiously to heavier strokes and/or stingier implements such as the cane. Think of it this way, if She wants to keep you, it's in Her interest to get you to enjoy pain play and the cane if She loves using it! Too much too soon will likely see you running away! Or at least ... it should! Go cautiously Maam Jay aka violet[A]

Dnomyar -> RE: New in a collar need help ! (2/19/2008 7:04:42 AM)
For one if your comming here with the expectation that once your here you can stay. Forget it. It is not going to happen. Get yourself a round trip ticket because you will need it. Immigration will see to that. Plan for a vacation and hope it turns out great.

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: New in a collar need help ! (2/19/2008 12:44:41 PM)
Oops double post by accident

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: New in a collar need help ! (2/19/2008 12:56:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne I know there are many beautiful Egyptian Mistresses. Is she Egyptian? If not, you two might have some language difficulties. Your English is not bad, by the way. Is she coming to Alexandria or are you travelling to her? Or you both live in Alex? If you are travelling to her, can I suggest you travel with a friend. The friend should be your "safe call", so you can call someone to rescue you if the Mistress turns out to be a bad person. You should not let her take you somewhere strange or tie you up unless you really trust her. You might be robbed by her boyfriend or worse. This has happened in Australia so it might happen in Egypt. You might actually like the pain. You will never know until you try it. Impact play is much more sensual than , say, dropping a brick on your toe. But as others have said, she should give you a safeword like "red". And make sure you can run away if she does not stop. I hope she is everything you hope for, but sadly some people do not tell the truth over the internet. Many years ago, my submissive fell deeply in love with a Mistress online who said she was a single, 26 year old policewoman in real life. After months of adoring her, she told him to go to a place to finally meet. He waited and waited for hours, but she never came. Later she admitted she was in the cafe the whole time, watching him from another table. She was 46 not 26 and her husband was a policeman, not her. She was just a bored housewife who wanted some kinky romance over the internet. My submissive was heartbroken. I really hope this does not happen to you. What should you give your new owner when you meet? Has she suggested you must have a gift? If not, some flowers would be a nice gift in my culture, but I cannot advise you what is appropriate in Egypt. I have only spent a month in your country. Perhaps something handmade such a peice of pottery from your home town would be a nice gift if she is visiting from another country or you are visitingher outside Egypt. I personally love those sleek ceramic cat statues and you do not have to get the expensive kind. She will not know the difference! If she is a foreigner visiting you, you could offer to take her to museums and sightseeing. Her visit does not have to be all about her doing BDSM things to you in her hotel room. She will probably like you more if you are a gentleman and (pretend!) you do not expect her to play with you at all. Good luck

LadyHathor -> RE: New in a collar need help ! (2/19/2008 1:05:36 PM)
Is it just Me or does anyone else think there is a whole lot of communication here that hasn't happened?

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: New in a collar need help ! (2/19/2008 1:12:43 PM)
No I am worried for the OP too. I can undestand his desire to please her without questioning her methods, but the lady sounds a bit odd to me. I hope it is not a hoax on the poor guy. We will find out in a few days I suppose.

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