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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 5:09:57 AM   
Dnomyar


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I tend to the small details. I smooth out the bumps. I also pull suprises. Anyone that knows me knows that my suprises are well thought out. At the start I used to get if you dont tell me the suprise I dont want it. My answer to that was just to walk away and forget about it. It is a good way to teach someone patience.  

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 5:22:39 AM   
Aileen1968


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I think some people keep people in their lives to make themselves look good.  Some masters feel the need to claim ownership of a slave in order to validate their "masterly" status.  Even better if the slave gushes praises at every opportunity.  In truth though...to me, if someone is attractive, intelligent, dominant and masterful, all of those qualities will show through without the aid of a "prop".  If you're gonna look good, you should be able to carry that off on your own.
Responded without reading any other answers.  Now I must go and see what others think.  I have a feeeling the answers may be a bit animated.

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 5:44:32 AM   
Dnomyar


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Mmmm Aileen first time I have noticed your smile.

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 6:08:14 AM   
DesFIP


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If she's shortchanging her employer, then she's stealing the money they pay her. And if you're focused on her, then you're doing the same. Not to mention that by being bad employees you cheat yourselves out of the chance to do a good job, and get a promotion/raise.

If you agree to coach your daughter's soccer team and deliberately do a piss poor job by not focusing on it, then you've devastated the kids and lied to your daughter.

You either have integrity in every area of your life or you aren't someone with integrity. Like being just a little bit pregnant, no such thing.

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 6:12:40 AM   
Aileen1968


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Mmmm Aileen first time I have noticed your smile.


Hahahaha.  Yeah...it's that thing on my face.  It's above the neck.  You should move your eyes up every now and then.  There's a whole wonderful world out there.

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 6:18:57 AM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If she's shortchanging her employer, then she's stealing the money they pay her. And if you're focused on her, then you're doing the same. Not to mention that by being bad employees you cheat yourselves out of the chance to do a good job, and get a promotion/raise.

If you agree to coach your daughter's soccer team and deliberately do a piss poor job by not focusing on it, then you've devastated the kids and lied to your daughter.

You either have integrity in every area of your life or you aren't someone with integrity. Like being just a little bit pregnant, no such thing.

Did I miss something?.....


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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 6:24:12 AM   
SailingBum


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Mmmm Aileen first time I have noticed your smile.


Smile what smile???

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 6:24:26 AM   
KatyLied


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quote:

There's a whole wonderful world out there.


What?  There's a world beyond your chest?


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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 6:25:07 AM   
Aileen1968


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Will you people stop.  lol

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 6:25:51 AM   
IrishMist


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quote:

I don't need a lot of external validation. I'd be a mess if I really worried about how I looked.



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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 6:33:25 AM   
PanthersMom


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what is the point of being in a relationship if you do not do for one another?  help with problems? care what is going on and if you can help?  think your presentation does or does not affect how others view you and your SO?  if you cannot be concerned beyond the end of your own nose, you do not deserve to be with anyone.

PM

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 6:39:46 AM   
SailingBum


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

what is the point of being in a relationship if you do not do for one another?  help with problems? care what is going on and if you can help?  think your presentation does or does not affect how others view you and your SO?  if you cannot be concerned beyond the end of your own nose, you do not deserve to be with anyone.

PM


From my POV a fuck buddy recieves no benifits from me.  Perhaps that is what they are refering too.  shrug

BadOne

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 6:50:12 AM   
Dnomyar


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Katy I thought that this was just a man thing. I would look you in the eye and say this but your pic wont let me.

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 7:13:20 AM   
Justme696


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At OP

Sorry...where is the theory you have?

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 7:38:44 AM   
CreativeDominant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Will you people stop.  lol


Do we have to?  And has your hair always been that dark?

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 7:41:01 AM   
Jeffff


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Hair?

Jeff

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 7:44:58 AM   
CreativeDominant


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Seriously...I think treasure had it right.  I don't need a partner to look good...and that is not conceit, it is just knowing myself and what I am capable of.  I teach classes to other healthcare providers and the first few times, I struggled through it until I learned the best ways to go through it.  Having helped a friend of mine teach his classes helped.  But so did the realization that I knew what I was talking about and had used most of it to good effect on my patients.  Now...the right partner, doing things in the way that treasure noted?  Hell yes, that is bound to make me look good and in all honesty, I would do the same for that partner...from my perspective...if she needed it.  But I want someone who can "look" good to others without me as a "prop". 

As for making her feel good, I try to invest as much of myself in building and maintaining a relationship as I can while taking care of the rest of my life and helping her to understand that it cannot be all about us or her or even me all the time.  I've stumbled there a few times too but I try to learn when I do stumble.  That goes a long way towards making a partner feel good.

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 8:14:01 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


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I'm not really certain where you going with this thread.   However, I'm going to go into the Vanity aspects for a moment and how it relates it to my current relationship.   Looking good can apply to things and places as well as people.

She loves to make and design her own clothes and does this for other people.  It's something she simply loves to do, and it's nothing I want to change either.  Since we have been together she said she's starting to feel more inspired to make things again.  Basically for the last few monthes she's not been very active with this hobby.   She's been checking out some of the fetish dress and model girls from my myspace friends.   She's been exploring the thought of using Latex and PVC and whatnot.   She honestly diggs a lot of the looks and designs.   Added Bonus, I enjoy these things.    OK, so this is all about her personal look and she loves making things for others.

She currently has a project of working on Tribal style tattoo art for a pair of Jeans and a white tank top for me.  Basically, these are things I want to wear out when I'm playing guitar and singing in front of people at the bars.   Both her and myself want me to look better and kewler in front of people.   So this is a task for her.

In terms of around the house decor and living spaces, her bed room is very exotic and interesting.   Love it to death, and actually it's very relaxing and puts me at ease.   We both have similar interests in decor and tastes.   Basically, how to tap into nature and bring it into a room.

Last night we were talking about how great it feels to wear nice things, not for the sake of pleasing other people but ourselves and how it makes us feel about ourselves.  

Both her and I think the same when it comes down to the way many of the college girls dress.   You know basically girls claiming about dressing because it's an expression of individualism yet the seem to be following the Heard.   Yes, the heard of college girls all wearing the same shit, looking the same.   They even travel in heards from bar to bar and places to eat too.  Ok, well perhaps both her and I are being too hard on these poor young girls.   What matters is that both me and her think much a like.   Back to the whole concept of a sub/slave being a reflection of their master and vice versa.

In terms of my own vanity, I really don't try to think too deeply upon trying to please or be eye candy for the whole world.  I wear what pleases me, and if it shocks or makes others take notice so much the better.   I'm not the GQ type of guy.  Oh yes, I'm that crazy musician type.   I have gone into Goth hang out places wearing bright colors when everbody else was wearing black.  Says a lot more about being a non conformist, don't you think?   Don't get me wrong I love the Goth Look as well.  But I'm not gonna dress up all Goth for the night when I myself don't feel like it.

Looking good is a matter of wearing or making things look the way you want them to look.   If you can express your own creative ideas and true individualism, you'll be a much happier person.  People tend to enjoy and find beauty in people that are happy with themselves.   I think seeing somebody with a smile upon their face and being happy, looks good.   Compared to somebody following the heard trying to fit in, being not so happy and confused.   Sure the outfit they are wearing might look like a million bucks but it they are not happy, it shows and it's not all that attractive.

Clothing and jewerly can show and express a lot about a person.  Some of these things can have great meaning to a person, beside just looking good.   Take BDSM collars for instance.  Some girls love to wear them because it looks kewl or hot.  However, they are not really collared and don't know shit about the BDSM lifestyle.  On the other hand, we all know how much meaning a collar can and does have.   Sure both the vanilla girl and the BDSMer girl both enjoy the look and feel.  The meaning is somewhat different.   If the vanilla girl really enjoys wearing it and it happy as hell.  Who has the right to dimension her happiness in wearing it.   If she is wearing it just so she can fit in with all her friends, or look just as kewl at club, then good chance she has self esteem issues.  

I notice things that people wear, I'll actually ask them questions about articles of clothing or jewlery.  See if there's any meaning or story behind what they are wearing.   It's actually a great conversation starter, plus you get to quickly learn a lot about the other person.  Even more so when you see the smile on their face while you tell you a short story behind it all.  

Looking good is mental and a physical state.  Even the decor one has in their house says a lot about their mental state of mind and personality.  Be it the art they hang on the walls, or lack of it.  The books on display on a bookcase.  The type of things they collect and have on display or again the lack of such things.   Some people try to break their necks trying to impress people, and some people simply show themselves for who they really are.

I've been to peoples houses where they were trying to impress me with Quanity and how much money they spent on shit.   Other people's houses that were showing me things with deeper meaning and value beside how much it cost.  

It's good for people to Love themselves, however if they get too carried away it can be very Narcissistic which is really an ugly thing.

These are my thoughts on looking good from a vanity point of view. 

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 10:23:48 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Well I think it's important to evaluate from time to time how we reflect upon those we choose to be around and how they reflect upon us- and this can be from the literal physical look level to the more general conceptual level.  It's important to recognize whether those reflections are in line with reality and how we WANT to be reflected and to work on bringing them closer together if they are not.

But I certainly don't think it needs to be anywhere near a daily thing, let alone an all day thing.  How can I enjoy pop-up videos if I'm doing that all the time?

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RE: A theory I have... - 2/19/2008 10:28:48 AM   
LadyHathor


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I would hope that the thought in his head isn't to make us LOOK good, but how can he make us BE good as a team, as a D'/s dynamic, as a couple and as a family, I don't give a damn about looking good to others as long as our unit works well and to everyone's happiness. So how can his submission help Me-- help Us--that's where his head needs to be, for then we are in unison.
 
 

< Message edited by LadyHathor -- 2/19/2008 10:29:31 AM >


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