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postflag -> Seeking advice and Guidance (9/16/2005 9:57:14 AM)
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Greetings and thanks for taking the time to read my plea:
i am seeking advice and or any information that would help ease my live in girlfriend into the role of Dominant-
We have been together for over 2 years now, and i guess initially i was foolish in knowing that i amm a D/s lifestyler and she is/was not, yet being naive figured i may be able to incorporate it into our lives with me obviously being the bottom (as i have been my entire life for that matter-yet never in a L/t relationship. i started to hint around to the lifestyle about a year and a half ago-and have had some limited success in encorporating it-She is well aware of my nature, does not poke fun at it or think i am weird-actually loves all the pampering she receives do to my submissive and pleasing nature-yet she does not quite comprehend the mental aspect of it-in other words She doesn;t realize when i awake Her with full body massage and coffee in bed each day............just what it does to my insides to be able to serve her in this manner.....a week ago She emailed me from work jokingly asking me to come to her work and massage and kiss Her tired feet (which i do quite regularly) i responded to Her email as to how i would tend to her feet, and did so in a way that she started to realize through my words-just how much i enjoyed/needed and ached to be at Her feet. This is when a corner may have been turned as she is not opposed to learning how to guide me into serving her, and assuming a role of dominance, yet she is sometimes spooked by some of the extreme D/s-or S/m aspects of it.
i am trying to find articles, books films anything that can help her in her journey to better understand the lifestyle as she is beginning to see now that it is not all hollywood and glamour with fetish gear and kinky sex-it is much deeper than that and she is curious about it, yet somewhat gun shy at times-which is understandable. We have scened a few times, yet she can sometimes lose the focus (of which i don't blame her at all for) and she will start to feel inadequate in the role-she thinks sometimes that she is not adminstering enough pain, or doesn;t do a good enough job at something-and as such loses her confidence. i wish there was a way i could help Her understand that it is a learning process and there is no reason to feel less confident. i am very curious as to whether an Dommes out there started out this way, and if so, what steps can be taken to advance into the role of Domme.
Forgive me for all my rantings here, it is just that a feel like a caterpillar that could become a butterfly if things progress the way i hope, and do not wish to miss this opportunity at my fate to submit to her. As for the level of D/s i hope to achieve.......well it could not be 24/7 round the clock that's for sure as we have obligations......work family friends, she has a young child also, so i am not looking to be caged 242/7 by know means (no offense to those who are though-my kudos to you)-i would just like to progress at a pace comfortable for us both and let the level of D/s dictate itself-we are very romantically involved so we do have that aspect also, of which i think romance can be a bog part of D/s-just hope to portray that to Her in a way she can understand, in other words why is it She can affectionately refer to me as hun or love (which i like by the way) yet for Her to call me her pet/boy/slut/bitch is taboo-i find all of those words to be affectionate within the confines of D/s. i guess i will sign off and hope some of Y/you could help this one find the information or materials necessary to help Her on her way into the role of Domme. thanks again-postflag
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