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Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 11:51:19 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		As the phrase goes "You can't be a Dom if you can't dominate yourself"

So fellow Doms, what do you do to yourself when you aren't satisfied with your results or if things aren't going your way? After all, accountability is something we should own up to. We can't and shouln't make excusses. It's simply silly to say "It's always the subs fault?"

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 11:54:23 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet
It's simply silly to say "It's always the subs fault?"

It is? Damn, NOW you tell me...

Anyway, you can't be a good submissive unless you can control yourself either.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 12:21:38 PM   
anopheles


Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

As the phrase goes "You can't be a Dom if you can't dominate yourself"

So fellow Doms, what do you do to yourself when you aren't satisfied with your results or if things aren't going your way? After all, accountability is something we should own up to. We can't and shouln't make excusses. It's simply silly to say "It's always the subs fault?"


I am a firm believer in the fact that you must ask your sub where you went wrong. You can't possibly know where the mixup was if he/she doesn't tell you. And I agree with you that accountability is something that we must all have, both Doms and subs. I also think that subs should be generously rewarded for their honesty.

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 12:23:10 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		F&F,
I strive to learn something new every day. I'm much more likely to be satisfied with beth than I am with myself. Perfection isn't an obtainable goal but if you strive for mediocracy you'll never reach your full potential.

It may be the "sub's fault", but it's never the slave's. The Master is responsible for all results.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 12:42:33 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Good to hear you're starting to learn about relationships.

Nothing is every strictly any one person's fault. In any relationship it takes two.


(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 2:08:38 PM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline 		I tried flogging myself but all I got was wrap around.

(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 2:48:11 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not talking about just relationships but in the Doms personal life. Examples such as catching yourself over sleeping, breaking the rules of your own diet plan, burning something on the stove, and such. If you are one that will yell at your sub/slave, then will you yell at yourself? How dominant are the rest of you over yourselves in being able to say no more of this and no more of that untill I've completed _______ task?

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 3:55:43 PM   
Ceyx


Posts: 89
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm. If it's something to do with a scene, often I'll sit down afterwards and write about it in one of my various journals-- online, paper, whatever-- in an attempt to think through what happened, what the problem was, how I might handle that situation better or more smoothly next time around.

With personal failures-- failures of the expectations that I have of myself-- I've found that it helps me to ask myself how miss would view me in these moments. Am I really worthy of her devotion if I'm not living up the expectations that I've set? Usually that thought is enough to nudge me back towards the proper course.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 4:56:00 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Some dominants come up with the bright idea of delegating things to their slaves- telling them to remind them of things to do and keep them on track.

Some people find that a bit too radical an idea though.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 4:58:41 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Why should the Dominant be perfect, sure being a Dom is a resposibility, at least if he is the Master of a slave 24/7, but that do not mean he need to be perfect.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 5:02:31 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Some dominants come up with the bright idea of delegating things to their slaves- telling them to remind them of things to do and keep them on track.

Some people find that a bit too radical an idea though.


Odd, when I told someone about how this works for my partner and I, they told me I was topping from the bottom and that he was a weak, wannbe master.

:)

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 5:05:15 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Some dominants come up with the bright idea of delegating things to their slaves- telling them to remind them of things to do and keep them on track.

Some people find that a bit too radical an idea though.


Odd, when I told someone about how this works for my partner and I, they told me I was topping from the bottom and that he was a weak, wannbe master.

:)

*gasp* Didn't see that coming, you horribly manipulating charlatan!

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 5:31:33 PM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I guess this is more a lighthearted question...so I'll look at it from that slant...but if serious is the order of the day...I don't take orders...that's the job of a waitress...within the lifestyle arena...I take full responsibility for any and all digressions from mine...why..because if they fail me..it's a failure in my teaching and or instruction...as we all have different ways...that's mine...as for me personally...I live to lead by my example...am I prefect...you bet your a** I am...and if I weren't...how would you know...now don't go into the minute...not perfect skin...hair..nails..one eyebrow is higher than the other...(don't be taking notes on this either)...so that's the long and short of it...I'm perfectly imperfect...in a imperfectly perfect world...

Fury

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/16/2005 6:35:41 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		I have to limit myself when it comes to time spent on the Internet and Playstation otherwise I'll have no desire to interact with actual human beings. If I slip up one day, I cut myself off earlier the next.

When I get myself sorted out and am in a relationship, I'll ask to be reminded of such things by my sub.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/17/2005 6:42:57 PM   
TheMagician


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Self-improvement is a lifelong journey. To improve your mind, learn more. To improve your body, train harder. To improve your spirit, try meditation It does not matter whether you call it Buddhist meditation, MBCT, yoga, etc. There is no trick or shortcut, you have to work on it every day.
quote:

what do you do to yourself when you aren't satisfied with your results

Try harder, of course. And I am never completely satisfied.
quote:

if things aren't going your way?

I often have to suppress my anger. This allows me to focus on what I can change instead of endlessly blaming external influences.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/17/2005 7:50:35 PM   
Hallittlelolita


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

Sincerely andie and her Master Hal

< Message edited by Hallittlelolita -- 9/17/2005 7:57:24 PM >

(in reply to WickedKev)
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RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/17/2005 7:56:50 PM   
Hallittlelolita


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		That is hilarious

Sincerely andie and her Master Hal
quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedKev

I tried flogging myself but all I got was wrap around.


(in reply to WickedKev)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/18/2005 7:55:33 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

I'm not talking about just relationships but in the Doms personal life. Examples such as catching yourself over sleeping, breaking the rules of your own diet plan, burning something on the stove, and such. If you are one that will yell at your sub/slave, then will you yell at yourself? How dominant are the rest of you over yourselves in being able to say no more of this and no more of that untill I've completed _______ task?


I am really impressed that you are asking this question. Since becoming involved in this lifestyle only 9 months ago, one thing my Dom has stressed is that, in order to Dominate, he should be in control of every aspect of his life. And....he is pretty hard on himself about things like bills getting paid, stuff not going well at work, etc. I have met both in R/L on even here at this site, "Doms" who are unemployed (not due to disablility or disease, etc); Doms that are looking for a sub to move in with them to pay the bills; Doms who have a number of on-line subs without telling them they are married; Doms who are alcholic or substance abusers; Doms who excuse their own bad behavior as simply their perogative because they are "Doms"....well you get the picture.

The need to control his own life is one of the things I find most attractive about my Dom. However, life does have a way of messing things up on a regular basis. If it is just in the "S*** Happens category", one needs to just keep those things in perspective and move on. If it is a character failing, one that happens over and over again, more attention needs to be paid to the problem and to possible solutions. And if a person calls him/herself a Dominant, one would hope that he/she is better able to to work out his/her own stuff before trying to Dominate others. Alas, that is not always the case.

Just being able to ask these questions and then work to make ourselves better people is the job of our lifetime. We are given uncut rocks to cut and polish throughout our life in order that we may be diamonds at the end. This is not a question for Dominants, submissives, switches, gay, straight, bi, poly or even vanilla. This is a question of maturity!

Thanks for asking the question.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Disciplining yourself - 9/18/2005 9:03:28 AM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nella

Why should the Dominant be perfect, sure being a Dom is a resposibility, at least if he is the Master of a slave 24/7, but that do not mean he need to be perfect.


But I am perfect and keep telling my slave that daily. When she is lost I tell her I never get lost I am always where I want to be at that precise moment. And when I pick the lottery numbers and we don't win, well obviously it is the machines fault for picking the wrong numbers. Being perfect is such a big burden....

(in reply to nella)
Profile   Post #: 19
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