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Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 7:51:13 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		OK, I am having a major quandry.
I am going to a wedding on March 9th for my best friend D and her intended. She has asked me to step up and be her Maid of Honor. I was thrilled and agreed without hesitation. The former Matron of Honor's boss is being an ass and wont give her th eday off since she is just getting back from maternity leave... and so I am stepping in late in the game.
NOW the hard part.
I have to make the toast, after the Best Man. I am really having trouble finding something appropriate. I do not like the groom. I am trying my damndest not to have to talk about him and her, aside form wishing them the obligatory happiness and health and all that.
I might mention it is a Jewish Wedding, so all my new testament quoting is out the window. I am trying to find something that would actually sound like something Id come up with, not TOO sappy (not my style) but appropriate. I dread stuff like this. I have no problem with public speaking, but I dont like trying to be lovey and sappy when I talk. Her family and her husband to be wouldnt appreciate humor, which is what I usually go with.
D has already emailed me "I am so sorry sis, first I put you in a dress and now I am making you stand up and give a speech.  I swear I will never ask you for another thing as long as we live."

Now, Im stuck, so any hints would be greatly appreciated.

DV



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair
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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 7:57:11 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		Well, you could begin with how long you've known the bride and how strong your friendship is. Then maybe say something about how it's good to see her happy. (You can be perfectly honest without actually mentioning the groom.) Then wish the couple a long and prosperous life.

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 8:59:35 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You always pay people to write a speech.  I'd say just talk about what marriage means, why they chose to marry eachother and live their lives together.  Throw in a few unions of souls and tradition of togetherness cliches and they'll love it.

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 9:02:01 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		I was at a wedding where the best man told the groom to run.
Don't say that in your toast.  lol
Funny thing is, he was right.  The groom should have run.

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 9:08:21 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I know it sounds stupid but try to let it come from your heart. You can share the story of how she told you about her engagement, when you first met her groom, how happy you know they will be together, if you knew that they would end up getting together, that sort of thing. I think you can use google and find various speeches that other people have written if you are stuck.

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 9:09:45 PM   
slaveboyforyou


Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I was the best man at my friend's wedding.  That's was a long time ago.  We have been friends since the 2nd grade.  I did a toast too, but I was completely sauced when I did it (that'll teach them to have an open bar when I show up.  LOL)  But it was funny and was what everyone expected from me.  I am the perpetual bachelor out of my crowd of buddies.  I think women take it a little more serious than we do.  But my friend's wife loves me, so she still brings my toast up to dates when I bring them over for dinner (isn't that nice of her?)

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 9:14:20 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		Yeah, too bad you dont like the groom, that makes it hard. If it were me, I would hope to say some uplifting encouraging things to my friend because bottom-line, that is why I would be there, for her. Perhaps you could make a list of some basic things you would wish for her in her marriage, like a good friend in her husband, someone to reflect back to her all her incredible qualities that make her her, maybe name a few of the things you love best about her, for example. You dont have to be sappy and stuff I dont think in order to say some warm supporting words for her on her new adventure.

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 9:25:42 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Right now I am leaning towards
"Love isn't finding somebody who's perfect.  It's finding somebody who makes you so happy that their imperfections don't matter." And then working from there.




_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 11:06:25 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Right now I am leaning towards
"Love isn't finding somebody who's perfect.  It's finding somebody who makes you so happy that their imperfections don't matter." And then working from there.


I like it!

I googled 'wedding toasts maid of honor' and found this site.  http://www.aragia.com/wedding-speeches/maid-of-honour.  May be worth a look for some ideas.  Good luck!

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 11:07:43 PM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Right now I am leaning towards
"Love isn't finding somebody who's perfect.  It's finding somebody who makes you so happy that their imperfections don't matter." And then working from there.

There will be people who intepret that as veiled slam at the groom unless you spend some time setting it up by listing the brides failings which IMO is probably not what your friend would want to hear on her wedding day.

I'm guessing the situation with the original maid of honor will be fairly well known at the wedding so why not contact the previous maid of honor and ask her to write the toast she'd like to give. Then you can read her words, honoring the bride's first choice and letting you off the hook. The original maid of honor might be thrilled to get a chance to be part of the wedding even by proxy.

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/19/2008 11:39:08 PM   
JulieorSarah


Posts: 552
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline 		DomKen has hit the nail on the head!
 
If the first MOH writes things you are uncomfortable saying, remember they are not your words, but the heartfelt words of someone else and generally should not be edited.  You can add your own bit if needed.
 
However, have something planned in case for whatever reason the supplied speech is not appropriate.
 
It may help to first check with the the bride what sort of things she expects to be covered this can be passed on the MOH#1.  Are you just meant to say To the Bride and Groom (or the groomsmen/parents of the B&G) and sit down or is it more involved?
 
I'm good on the keyboard and when I'm not sure what to say at presentations, I just write/type, edit, delete, start again, and over time it all comes out.  What do you want to convey? ... Who are you talking to? ... how do you want the audience to react?  Are you writing to just her, and everyone else is hearing it?  Are you telling everyone about your friendship, how it's grown, changed, evolved, matured, and the Bride is just there?  and don't forget to say something about the groomsmen as well as the bridegroom.  Who is speaking before you, after you, what are they being asked to cover?
 
Remember you have an audience that is on your side, everyone wants the day to go well for the B&G!
 

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/20/2008 3:18:20 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		DV if you go to a bookstore (I know for a fact Borders has them) you can find books on this precise topic, with toasts written out for you.Easy peasy! It will get you past the dislike and help make their day a wonderful one. Good luck to you.

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/20/2008 3:24:01 AM   
KenDckey


Posts: 4121
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline 		Also you can contact your local Toastmasters club.   They have a manual on toasts that someone might let you look at, help you prepare for and do it for free.   I have a copy of the manual but I am kinda far away. 

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/20/2008 7:17:16 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		If the wedding's casual enough where a little humor would be appropriate, and if you feel comfortable doing it, you could do this little one, after maybe saying something touching about your friendship with the bride....

Ask the bride to hold out her hand, then ask the groom to place his hand on top of hers.  Slip your hand underneath theirs and raise them up (dramatically, make a little show of it) and announce, "Ladies and gentlemen, take a good look at their hands.  I would like to proclaim this the first.......AND THE LAST....time that <groom's name> will have the upper hand in this marriage!"

Everyone will laugh, and you will not have said anything mushy and insincere that you didn't believe or feel about the groom.

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/20/2008 7:58:54 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		The imperfect thing is a long standing commentary between the brinde and groom. It wouldnt be a slam both their favorite sayings when they get something wrong is "So, sue me Im not perfect".
The first MOH had written a very short, very unappealing toast becasue she resented having to do it.  Her request was to get to pass it off to someone else, becasue she didnt like doing them anyway. I alreayd asked to see what she had written, and it was a very canned sounding "Everyone here assembled wishes you two the best of luck, long life, healthy children and many many love filled years together."  And that was it. She and I both know D for upwards of 8 years, that just doesnt do the toast justice I dont think.

My draft, at the moment.
Love isn't finding somebody who's perfect.  It's finding somebody who makes you so happy that their imperfections don't matter.  D and I have known each other for close to forever. I have told her from the beginning, dont just date someone to be part of a couple. You'll be happier single than with the wrong one. So, for the first time in her life, she actually listened to me. She waited,  and then she met G. Something else I told her, when it IS the right one you will know it.
And, so, friends and family, here we are. She knew it!
Wishing you both a lifetime of love filled years."
?


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Wedding Toast - 2/20/2008 11:11:20 AM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		Love it!    Personal yet will make people smile, not too sentimental.  :-)

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/20/2008 11:17:25 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Although it wasn't right for this situation, that was an inspired, sensitive idea. Very cool.



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Don't believe everything you think...

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RE: Wedding Toast - 2/20/2008 11:36:38 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

OK, I am having a major quandry.
I am going to a wedding on March 9th for my best friend D and her intended. She has asked me to step up and be her Maid of Honor. I was thrilled and agreed without hesitation. The former Matron of Honor's boss is being an ass and wont give her th eday off since she is just getting back from maternity leave... and so I am stepping in late in the game.
NOW the hard part.
I have to make the toast, after the Best Man. I am really having trouble finding something appropriate. I do not like the groom. I am trying my damndest not to have to talk about him and her, aside form wishing them the obligatory happiness and health and all that.
I might mention it is a Jewish Wedding, so all my new testament quoting is out the window. I am trying to find something that would actually sound like something Id come up with, not TOO sappy (not my style) but appropriate. I dread stuff like this. I have no problem with public speaking, but I dont like trying to be lovey and sappy when I talk. Her family and her husband to be wouldnt appreciate humor, which is what I usually go with.
D has already emailed me "I am so sorry sis, first I put you in a dress and now I am making you stand up and give a speech.  I swear I will never ask you for another thing as long as we live."

Now, Im stuck, so any hints would be greatly appreciated.

DV




D has already emailed me "I am so sorry sis, first I put you in a dress and now I am making you stand up and give a speech.  I swear I will never ask you for another thing as long as we live."

Talk about your relationship with the bride, perhaps something from your youth or how you first met...
Relate this story (that I reclipped) and say:

May you both never need to ask for anything as long as you live.
May your lives be filled with all you ask, for all your days.

Something on that order. (make sure you are drinking absinthe)

You got the words girl!!!!!

Ron

Something like that.


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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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