Elements of Control

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Elements of Control

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Elements of Control

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Elements of Control - 2/20/2008 6:27:26 AM

SubmissiveinSD

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/1/2007
Status: offline

Hello A\all!

I'm here with a question which seems pretty commonplace to me, yet a few searches yielded no results, so I'll start a new thread for it.

I'm a switch, primarily submissive, in a wonderful poly. For the most part, my submission is to Sir's 'alpha'. She has been interested in having a submissive for a while now, from what I understand. The trouble is, she's very new to switching long term, and that's a perfectly understandable issue, imo.

So, we've been trying various things, there's been a lot of healthy discussion. One big thing that has come up, is that I am interested in submitting control to her in various aspects of my life. I do not live with them, so we are thinking ideas to give her a degree of control, an me a degree of submission during the week, when I am not with her.

We are considering masturbatory control, diet\exercise requirements, and possibly some form of financial domination(Not so much "All your moneys are belong to me" as asking permission to spend 'fun money'.)

I've been looking around, and am trying to find other suggestions for a sub and a Dom trying to step into this gradually, since I can't be present to serve her in person during the week.

Thoughts or suggestions are very much appreciated!

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Elements of Control - 2/20/2008 7:11:36 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Keep the money part out of it.

(in reply to SubmissiveinSD)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Elements of Control - 2/20/2008 7:50:16 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

all sorts of ways from scheduling to diet, to exercise to...geez, anything can become submission as long as the proper attitude is in place and the guidelines are structured.
Example.
-You are told when to wake up-you do even though you would have liked to have slept longer, its submission
-yoyu don't masturbate because you are only allowed to cum when told-submission
-you shower, then shave as per orders
-you immediatly send a text message saying you are awake by an allotted hour-submission
-you eat a light breakfast, healthy stuff because you have a size/weight limit-submission.
-you drive to work and call your dominant on the way as per orders-submission
-you send emails at appointed times throughout the day-submission
-at lunch you go to the gym and work out according to a schedule laid out by your dominant-submission

I could go on and on but I am sure by now you get the drift.
There are 100,000 ways all day long one can walk surrounded in their submission, with almost every thought being tied to their dominant even though they never actually interact with them.
It can be amazing.
Technically its called indirect submission. The key is that all through the day you make decisons based on doing things that ae pleasing to the one that you have chosen.
I hope this helps.
Its about living under anothers control, even when all alone.
Its the height of good service

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Elements of Control - 2/20/2008 11:31:23 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

List the things you do on a daily basis. Then pick some areas where you can give her control, like what you wear and how you look. Permission for the fun stuff...going out, spending money control, what you do when you go out, who you go out with, etc. are decent areas, too.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to SubmissiveinSD)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Elements of Control - 2/20/2008 4:16:49 PM

SubmissiveinSD

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/1/2007
Status: offline

So far these are some VERY helpful responses.

I really appreciate the examples, this is an interesting experience for me; most of my prior experience did not involve indirect submission, so it's just the trick of getting my mind into that sort of thinking, I suppose.

Thanks to both of you!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Elements of Control - 2/20/2008 10:26:05 PM

Tapestry

Posts: 226
Joined: 10/29/2005
Status: offline

I'm in a 24/7 live-in relationship, so the indirect control isn't always an issue for us. (Although I do have to call or email during the day for permission if I want to stop on my way home from work to get my nails done or do some shoe shopping, or other things like that - still the Fun stuff.)
Anyway
I have friends who don't live together who follow directions given by their Dom/me. This includes when to go to bed, how to present oneself at the breakfast table (already showered and dressed,) as well as other mundane things.
In reality these things are set for me by Master as well, but my submission is not an option since I live with Him. In your case it's more of and Honor system, but I suspect you will feel the most victorious and sense of accomplishment as well as thrill when you obey. I say thrill especially because I always feel that way inside when carrying out directions, even when they seem mundane, I know I'm following an order given by Master, and it's my secret that no one else knows. Sure, they may see me purchasing groceries or picking up His dry cleaning, or other tasks that many view as routine, but they don't know it is part of my service to Him.
So while your Indirect Service is called that because you can't live there full time, it's very similar to what we all offer, even when we do live together, doing what we're told to do.
Blessings and Peace

_____________________________

Tapestry

Daddy's Little Girl

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."

www.tapestry41.blogspot.com

(in reply to SubmissiveinSD)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Elements of Control - 2/22/2008 9:50:20 PM

jenf

Posts: 45
Joined: 12/26/2007
Status: offline

Well...if you are the one telling them what you want them to "make" you do...then is it submission at all?

(in reply to Tapestry)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Elements of Control - 2/22/2008 11:00:36 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jenf

Well...if you are the one telling them what you want them to "make" you do...then is it submission at all?

Absolutely. Remember it's not the ACT, it's the intent and authority.

It can be deliciously humbling and vulnerable to admit what you want and fantasize about.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to jenf)

Profile

Post #: 8