Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks?

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Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 8:22:26 AM

Untouched1282

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Hello, Ma'am(s). I love to please, as it quite obviously stated on my profile. It's only thing that makes me happy. I don't know if I am well over my head given my lack of experience with life, let along this lifestyle, or if this could be my safe haven from an unwelcoming world.

I'm just looking for some advice to see if I'm truly to fit with this lifestyle with all the limits I have, or if I am better off taking an alternate route.

Thank You.

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 8:38:50 AM

LadyLolly

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Joined: 5/21/2005
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As long as you are right with you and honest about it with others - it's all good.

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 8:39:48 AM

AAkasha

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Have you been in a relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend) where you had the opportunity to love and give unconditionally, to pamper and to spoil (with affection, not money)? Is that what you are seeking?

I take it you are not really kinky, right? No interest in being bound, held captive, or used sexually -- you just want to be devoted and to cherish a woman?

Akasha

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 8:45:01 AM

Untouched1282

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It's not so much that I'm not "into" them, or at least wouldn't be into them, as it is I don't want the relationship to be predicated on those kinks. To phrase it as I do in my profile, I think those things would come later as fun things to be shared between the two of us, not the reason we are together. But, your love/cherish sentiment is probably pretty accurate. It just feels too intense to be just a normal relationship. I feel that way about everyone, but I want to it to be with one person, particularly.

...I wandered around in that post haha Sorry.

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 8:45:35 AM

MsBearlee

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What IS the plural of Maam? Gawd, I'm so happy you didn't say Maami! (way too close to Mommy!!!)

ROFL,
MsB

PS...Hang out with us, you'll learn a lot. And...read! Learn how to use the search function here...and read up on the topics that interest you. You'll be fine if you take your time and know the one's you play with.

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This one, as well!

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 11:16:48 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
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You get to decide what and who you are ... to my mind the key to that is to learn through workshops, events, munches and other leather people -- that's just me.

You live in a city that I believe has some or at least one group.. and I know Columbus does as does Cleveland. There is at least one (probably two or four more) state-wide or national event in Ohio that you could attend. Go to meetings, learn from others; every person so meet will give you a new opportunity to learn something about this life.

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 11:46:26 AM

Untouched1282

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thank you very much for your response. I'll look into the info you provided. :)

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 2:43:45 PM

MistressFaye1

Posts: 276
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Ditto on the advice so far.

I'd also like to say; NEVER allow yourself to be boxed in by someone telling you what is and isn't right in the lifestyle. You may hear things like: "submissives aren't this, don't do this, blah, blah, blah. Same thing goes with Dommes/Mistresses.

When you do find the one that you feel is right for you, as the relationship gets stronger, deeper, and the trust is there 100%, some of the things you feel are limits may slip away.

Be yourself, have fun as you go along, let no one define you but you.

Ms. Faye

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Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 3:35:49 PM

rob425

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This is a great topic thread and it makes me feel a bit more willing to come out of my shell.

I personally love and get off on D/s dynamic and love a submissive role where I found myself. The problem lies in all the girls I find myself with are very vanilla and are freaked out my my submissiveness so I hardly ever push it into the relationship. I personally wish i could go back to my relationship in which we had a strong D/s dynamic but i can't turn back time.

Getting back to my switch/subness is that because the girls I attract do not have the dominating personality I generally end up switching to a more domineering role which I really don't want. Anyways the girls I am with are lucky in someways cause my main goal in the relationship is to please them and make them happy. Being in a sexual relationship with my current girlfriend my whole goal is to get her off...in fact there have been times where I didn't even get off. This is how I can still feel submissive eventhough i am taking a bit of a dominate role

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 6:49:29 PM

SunNMoon

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I'm going to do a short vent: It's a relationship and more importantly it's your relationship. The goal is just to find
someone(s) that make you happy. If your able to do that, and it's healthy for both of you. Good be happy and don't worry about what other people think. That's the end of my vent.

I like the ds it just works a little bet better for me. But I do admit that I love the kink as well. It all really comes down for the relationship for me. Just remember that your desires matter, so make sure that you find someone that has similar desires and goals to your own.

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/20/2008 7:01:13 PM

Untouched1282

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I appreciate all of you for offering me your feelings, sentiments and anecdotes to help me better analyze things. I still don't know who I am, if I am truly meant for this lifestyle, but there is something about it that keeps pulling me near.

Thank you so very much @-->----

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/21/2008 5:25:11 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
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From: Washington, DC area
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I noticed this thread this morning about things in your area...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1241816/tm.htm

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RE: Sub/Switch or Vanilla Guy with Quirks? - 2/21/2008 5:44:11 AM

Lashra

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It can take years to discover what path is the correct one for you. People undergo changes over the years so our needs/wants/desires can change. I read your profile and I saw nothing wrong with it. You are up front and honest about what it is that you are seeking. You have a lot of exploring to do and what might be a limit for you now, may be a huge turn on years down the road.

My advice is to slow down, take your time. Read as much as you can about BDSM and relationships. Go to some munches and meet people. How will you know if something is right for you? Try it and if you feel calm without any regrets or fears afterwards, most likely its your path/kink.

Good luck.

~Lashra

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