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whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 7:26:42 AM   
teapaw


Posts: 97
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		If a Master promises he will not sleep with someone else with out letting his subs know...and only asks one of three...is that cheating? Should the other subs for give him?
If a Master promises the subs that he will never touch them in anger and then does with one....should everyone be ok with that?

I have a friend who is a sub with two other sister subs here in town...she doesnt have computer access so she asked me to post this..
Thank you for your time...

pamela

_____________________________

"get a taste of reiligion ...lick a witch"
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 7:40:05 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		HEllo There,
No it's not OK,. and no it's not OK. It sounds like they all need to dump this Master ad find one who's never going to hit a sub in anger ever. A Dom who hits a sub/slave in anger is a loser abuser to me plain and simple. It's Doms like this dick that make the good ones look bad in my opinion.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to teapaw)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 7:50:09 AM   
Aquariansub


Posts: 56
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		Trust is the biggest issue....he is not trustworthy!!

(in reply to teapaw)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 8:13:18 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

If a Master promises he will not sleep with someone else with out letting his subs know...and only asks one of three...is that cheating? Should the other subs for give him?
If a Master promises the subs that he will never touch them in anger and then does with one....should everyone be ok with that?


Well, it isn't a person I'd consider a dom to begin with let alone a master. More like a user. As someone stated if there is no trust there is no relationship. If there is no communication there cannot be any trust.

Sounds like a bad situation that is going to get worse.

(in reply to teapaw)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 9:10:35 AM   
PassionsHarmony


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline 		Hard to judge someone I do not know. To me on limited information it sounds like someone who figured being a Master is a way to have multiple women and so got involved and started collecting them. While I myself do not want a poly relationship I have friends who are and respect them. From what I have read that would never have happened in their relationships. Trust, respect, honor and communication are needed in all relationships, more so in D/s and I would think even more so when that D/s is poly. Anyone that hits in anger has no control of self so there for how can he Master others if he cannot Master his own self. To me this sounds a dangerous place to be and all I can say is I myself would ask for my release. Guessing he might not accept it then I would simply remove collar and walk out with whatever I came with. I cannot tell anyone else what to do nor would I. She truly has only 2 options accept it and stay or not to and leave.
Harmony

< Message edited by PassionsHarmony -- 9/17/2005 9:14:47 AM >

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 9:34:23 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		No they should not trust him. If my late Master ever got so angry at me that he would have hit me in anger( it never happened) but we had talked about he said he would have sent me away until he cooled down would never hit me in anger. I agree what with others he is an abuser.

(in reply to PassionsHarmony)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 9:50:27 AM   
Dracironsgirl


Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64

HEllo There,
No it's not OK,. and no it's not OK. It sounds like they all need to dump this Master ad find one who's never going to hit a sub in anger ever. A Dom who hits a sub/slave in anger is a loser abuser to me plain and simple. It's Doms like this dick that make the good ones look bad in my opinion.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

i agree with you totally

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 9:54:15 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		A BDSM D/s relationship is like a contract. Terms are negotiated and agreed upon. If one side breaks the term of that contract, then the contract is null and void.

Personally, I would walk away from someone that a) can't control themselves and b) would lie to me.

He broke his word at least twice according to your post, both of them on things that I would consider to be contract breakers.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 10:40:52 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: teapaw

If a Master promises he will not sleep with someone else with out letting his subs know...and only asks one of three...is that cheating?


Only asks one of them if he can have sex before he goes and has sex? Yes, it's cheating.
quote:


Should the other subs for give him?

That's another topic altogether, depends on the situation. I'd be curious as hell why the dom only asked one but my guess is that the answer is that the dom knew he'd get the answer he wanted from the one sub and decided to manipulate that so he could get the fuck he wanted from it.
quote:


If a Master promises the subs that he will never touch them in anger and then does with one....should everyone be ok with that?
Why are you even ASKING this? Granted, *I* have no problem with doms touching people in anger if they know what they are doing, but if this was a big enough problem that he made it a hard limit in the relationship and broke it...why would anyone else be ok with that?

The whole situation sounds too drama filled and "He sucks but I love him!" and not enough responsible adult women thinking for themselves.

(in reply to teapaw)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 10:42:27 AM   
worshipmoons


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		I agree...a true Master should be in control of himself. IMO a true Master should never lie to his subs either....""sigh"" A good Master is so hard to find..LOL

WM

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 11:10:21 AM   
teapaw


Posts: 97
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Bambi did not sign a contract. I toldher I would help her and her sisters leave. She thought that lying was ok, thats why I told hewr i would post this for her. So she knows that I am not the only one that sees a bad situation getting worse over time.
thank you all for your time and posts..I am reading them over the phone to her now...

Pamela

_____________________________

"get a taste of reiligion ...lick a witch"

(in reply to teapaw)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 11:27:25 AM   
RainGod


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline 		I guess My first question would be this: If this Guy already has three subbies... what the fuck does he need to have sex with a forth one for??? Are all three of His getting all they can? Is he some kind of hog... or maybe a sexual predator who is only happy with new conquests?

I say yes, He has cheated. I also say anyone who will cheat once will cheat again. In closing, if any one of those three subbies need a new home... lol. just kidding.

(in reply to teapaw)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 11:50:51 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I think all three of them need to lose this master and join my stable instead.

(in reply to teapaw)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/17/2005 1:56:35 PM   
Hallittlelolita


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		Kick this so called Master the curb before things get worse or you end up in the hospital. There are tons of Masters out there that are caring and loving and wont cheat and beat you up. i have been in that situation several years ago with my first dom when i was 16 and it was not pretty it got worse and worse as time went on from a bruise to a blackeye and then being thrown down a flight of stairs. my advice for you is get out, back your bags and move out it will be hard i know but this your life and do you really want to spend it with a loser like this so called Master. It might take a while to find your true Master it took me awhile i recently discovered after 4 years of marriage my husband is is ready to be my Master and he has been my Master for a month and half now and he does not cheat on me in anyway shape or form and if he somtimes gives me a playful slap because i enjoy it. Trust me you will find your true Master soon i wish you Luck in whatever you choose

Sincerely andie and her Master Hal

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/18/2005 5:56:24 AM   
teapaw


Posts: 97
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I am going to pick them all up tmw....thank you all for your words and encouragement to leave. Bami finally "gets it" that she is in a bad space...

hugs to all
pamela

_____________________________

"get a taste of reiligion ...lick a witch"

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/18/2005 8:29:35 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: teapaw

If a Master promises he will not sleep with someone else with out letting his subs know...and only asks one of three...is that cheating? Should the other subs for give him?


If the Master is poly and has the agreement that only the primary (if there is one) should be asked, no. Other than that, I would have to say this man has cheated on the other two.

quote:


If a Master promises the subs that he will never touch them in anger and then does with one....should everyone be ok with that?


A person usually promises that they will never touch another in anger because they cannot control themselves. If this is the case, it is abuse and NO ONE should be ok with that.

quote:



I have a friend who is a sub with two other sister subs here in town...she doesnt have computer access so she asked me to post this..
Thank you for your time...

pamela


Maybe you should post this on the poly board. Maybe you'll get different answers than mine.

(in reply to teapaw)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/18/2005 8:59:38 AM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:



Maybe you should post this on the poly board. Maybe you'll get different answers than mine.


i agree Sunshine...plus knowing more of the dynamic and relationship between each is a must before giving "advice, counsel or making a judgment."

But the striking in anger is definately not self control.

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to Sunshine119)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/19/2005 7:09:25 AM   
ChereeAmoor


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		No, it wouldn't (or at least it certainly SHOULD not) get a different answer on the poly board, because communication and trust are essential to that lifestyle, vanilla or otherwise. Cheating is cheating, and hitting in anger is wrong.

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/19/2005 8:56:11 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64

HEllo There,
No it's not OK,. and no it's not OK. It sounds like they all need to dump this Master ad find one who's never going to hit a sub in anger ever. A Dom who hits a sub/slave in anger is a loser abuser to me plain and simple. It's Doms like this dick that make the good ones look bad in my opinion.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

i agree with you totally

Hi There Dracironsgirl,
Thanks for agreeing with me. It's the abusers that hide under the shield of a Master or Dom that screw it up for all of us in my opinion. I wish we could get these loser abusers using the lifestyle as a cover all together and have a sadist party with the abusers in the sub place so they'd learn what the hits in anger felt like. Wouldn't that be a party we'd all want to go to?
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to Dracironsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: whats a sub to do... - 9/19/2005 9:35:26 AM   
teapaw


Posts: 97
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64

Hi There Dracironsgirl,
Thanks for agreeing with me. It's the abusers that hide under the shield of a Master or Dom that screw it up for all of us in my opinion. I wish we could get these loser abusers using the lifestyle as a cover all together and have a sadist party with the abusers in the sub place so they'd learn what the hits in anger felt like. Wouldn't that be a party we'd all want to go to?
Sincerely,
sub suzanne


I agree, what a party it would be...I do feel though that some of these abusers have baggage of their own. Since we all have it, they should either get over it or go to the party and get it...LOL
pamela

_____________________________

"get a taste of reiligion ...lick a witch"

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 20
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