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Straight dom, gay sub - 9/17/2005 7:55:05 AM

jose

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Joined: 7/26/2004
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I'm a 30 year old gay man who have the oportunity of being a sub of a strainght male friend. My friend had split with his girlfriend sub and told me that he miss a lot dominate someone and suggested me to being his bondage sub (without sex). I'm totally untrained and crave for an oportunity to serve someone i trust for a lot of time, but he is my friend and i don't want to lose his friendship if this goes wrong. He thinks there's nothing wrong with a dom-sub friendship but he is very young (23 yo) and i need to hear some opinions.
Thanks in anticipation and i apologize for my mistakes (english is not my mother language)

sub jose

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RE: Straight dom, gay sub - 9/17/2005 10:30:25 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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There are certainly relationships in which the people involved are of different sexual orientations and work very well.

What you guys have to do now is sort through your real feelings and figure out whether being together will work in the short term, long term, both, or neither and if that's what you both really want to do together. It will take time to sort through all the messy emotions that seem to be flying around, so give yourselves that time rather than just rushing in.

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RE: Straight dom, gay sub - 9/17/2005 11:40:23 AM

theRose4U

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While I do find a Dom that states he is straight taking on an openly gay sub odd, I don't think in context that it is harmful. All but 1 of my subs have been non-sexual. Our arrangement was one of servitude & training so it forfilled a need in us both much like your situation appears. As for the issue of young, I would look at his experience level and his knowledge in areas you're looking to expand into.

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RE: Straight dom, gay sub - 9/17/2005 4:50:54 PM

LadyAngelika

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I have a straight male dom friend who has a few male subs who are service subs. I don't think there is anything odd about it. Though WIITWD is often related to sex, it doesn't inherently have to.

I remember MrThorns starting a great thread about this about 6 months ago entitled Removing gender. The content might be insightful to you.

- LA

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RE: Straight dom, gay sub - 9/17/2005 5:46:10 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

While I do find a Dom that states he is straight taking on an openly gay sub odd

Odd? As opposed to the normal practices of flogging, caning, whipping, training, slavery, and pony-play? *smile*

I, as a purely straight male top, would enjoy training a male slave, without concern as to his sexual preference.

The way I see it, I don't care what he prefers to wear, prefers to eat, or how he prefers to stand and sit when he is in my collar...why would I care what he wants to fuck?

Taggard

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RE: Straight dom, gay sub - 9/17/2005 10:56:04 PM

Elegant

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It's not odd to us (Master Archer and me). Master Archer has a lesbian in service to him.

What would worry me the most about you situation, to be honest, is his age in relation to his ability to provide what you need. It's something the two of you need to sit down and talk about, in detail.

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Elegant
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RE: Straight dom, gay sub - 9/18/2005 5:49:02 AM

target

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Jose if your looking for long term you run the risk of emotionally bonding with someone who will not return the feelings. If you can handle the detachment, its time to have a long talk with him. Service or relationship?
I can get the concept of slaves as gender neutral but its fighting basic nature . I have a straight boy that comes to me but he is secure in his lovelife elsewhere.

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RE: Straight dom, gay sub - 9/18/2005 6:48:33 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

Jose if your looking for long term you run the risk of emotionally bonding with someone who will not return the feelings.

That is the same reason why I cannot have a married man as a playpartner. We sometimes have to protect ourselves and our emotions and not set ourselves up for situations that could potentially harm us. But as target says, if you can detatch, then enjoy!

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Straight dom, gay sub - 9/19/2005 2:01:09 AM

NakedOnMyChain

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I suggest a long, honest and open talk with him. Tell him your concerns about the situation and see how he fields them. If he has a "damn it all, we'll do it anyway" attitude in regards to your qualms, take the rest of what he says with a grain of salt and proceed with caution. Otherwise, listen to him and if you think you could still be friends after such a relationship, have fun!

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~The Cure

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