Self projection, stepping outside of the box.

Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (Full Version)

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Leatherist -> Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 9:55:47 AM)
I feel that a lot of what causes arguments here is that people have an ego centric view of the world. And feel that everyone else can, or should feel the way that they do-especially about ways to conduct an alternate lifestyle. I like to look at things from many sides-I find it more enlightening than simply trying to enforce my views on others. What do you think??

xxblushesxx -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:05:47 AM)
Uhm...I'm a princess , therefore, it's all about MOI!!

OmegaG -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:08:42 AM)
my happy bunny says it's all about me. To Leatherist: people generally can only see through their own eyes, they tend to have one paradigm and that's what they stick with. Sometimes it's because they've never learned to look outside of their box, sometimes it's because if they look outside of their box they are afraid the walls will come down and they need those walls as a security net.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:11:59 AM)
Leatherist, I haven't perceived any openness in perspective from you thus far.

Leatherist -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:18:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Leatherist, I haven't perceived any openness in perspective from you thus far. Are you me then?

Leatherist -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:20:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OmegaG my happy bunny says it's all about me. To Leatherist: people generally can only see through their own eyes, they tend to have one paradigm and that's what they stick with. Sometimes it's because they've never learned to look outside of their box, sometimes it's because if they look outside of their box they are afraid the walls will come down and they need those walls as a security net. Like Myself, I think others can actually see a great many different views and sort of understand them. They also understand that they don;t all work for them very well-and just pick the one that seems to at the moment.

OmegaG -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:30:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist quote: ORIGINAL: OmegaG my happy bunny says it's all about me. To Leatherist: people generally can only see through their own eyes, they tend to have one paradigm and that's what they stick with. Sometimes it's because they've never learned to look outside of their box, sometimes it's because if they look outside of their box they are afraid the walls will come down and they need those walls as a security net. Like Myself, I think others can actually see a great many different views and sort of understand them. They also understand that they don;t all work for them very well-and just pick the one that seems to at the moment. I think you give people alot more credit then they are due, but I'm thinking of people as a whole, not just this cross section and I know of plenty who are still praying for me to find my way back to the "One True Church". The reason why I left was the inability for people to see that anything other then the culturally indoctrinated paradigm was also perfectly acceptable. But let's pick a topic that is discussed here-- my personal favorite-- collar of consideration. There have been several threads started where people have discussed reasonable and logical uses for this term, yet so many retort with "well, yeah, it sounds good in theory but NOBODY uses the term that way". Even when their is an alternative mindset and it appears those opposed to it are listening, in reality they are holding fast to their own paradigm and feeling superior to other points of view. It's far more refreshing to hear "I hasn't thought of it that way, thanks". That would indicate to me that while it's not their cup of tea, they truly are open to new information.

Leatherist -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:36:27 AM)
I see the same thing with people about trainers. Some subs actually DO like a more formal and less comitted way to gain experience-but no, every trainer out there is just another user looking for easy sex with no responsibility. And yet, not ONE person expressing this has actually been involved in such a relationship-go figure. Doesn't stop them from saying how evil it is tho. Kumbaya. [:D]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:40:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OmegaG There have been several threads started where people have discussed reasonable and logical uses for this term, yet so many retort with "well, yeah, it sounds good in theory but NOBODY uses the term that way". Even when their is an alternative mindset and it appears those opposed to it are listening, in reality they are holding fast to their own paradigm and feeling superior to other points of view. It's far more refreshing to hear "I hasn't thought of it that way, thanks". That would indicate to me that while it's not their cup of tea, they truly are open to new information. What about someone like me? I say "It's a great theory, but almost no one actually practices it well." Does that mean I'm closed to new information? If I honestly am enlightened or surprised by someone's information, I will say so. But just because no one has offered new information, doesn't mean I'm not open to it when it comes along. There really ARE people who have been around the block a few dozen times. Expecting them to have the same reaction and perspective as someone who hasn't is unrealistic. Just because we recognize what reality IS doesn't necessarily mean we're closed off to what it COULD be.

OmegaG -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:46:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I see the same thing with people about trainers. Some subs actually DO like a more formal and less comitted way to gain experience-but no, every trainer out there is just another user looking for easy sex with no responsibility. And yet, not ONE person expressing this has actually been involved in such a relationship-go figure. Doesn't stop them from saying how evil it is tho. Kumbaya. [:D] My first official BDSM experience was with someone that did not refer to himself as a trainer, but due to life circumstances he was emotionally unavailable. Had life not gotten in the way, I may have learned alot more from him. On the whole it wasn't a bad experience and it helped reinforce that what I thought I needed was really a part of what I did need. But I also learned that it was one dimension of what I needed. Were it not for that experience I'd not be where I am now, and I do so like where I am now. But then, I'm a person that thinks that every interaction, good, bad or blase helps define my path to move forward better. And I have to admit that I've gleaned knowlege from the one twue wayists too, and I'm selfish enough to not care if the knowlege shared is a one way street. It just occured to me-- I wonder how many people who are percieved by others as closed minded, feel themselves to be quite open minded and maybe it's the style of communication that creates the perceptions?

OmegaG -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:48:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: OmegaG There have been several threads started where people have discussed reasonable and logical uses for this term, yet so many retort with "well, yeah, it sounds good in theory but NOBODY uses the term that way". Even when their is an alternative mindset and it appears those opposed to it are listening, in reality they are holding fast to their own paradigm and feeling superior to other points of view. It's far more refreshing to hear "I hasn't thought of it that way, thanks". That would indicate to me that while it's not their cup of tea, they truly are open to new information. What about someone like me? I say "It's a great theory, but almost no one actually practices it well." Does that mean I'm closed to new information? If I honestly am enlightened or surprised by someone's information, I will say so. But just because no one has offered new information, doesn't mean I'm not open to it when it comes along. There really ARE people who have been around the block a few dozen times. Expecting them to have the same reaction and perspective as someone who hasn't is unrealistic. Just because we recognize what reality IS doesn't necessarily mean we're closed off to what it COULD be. I've never percieved you as a closed minded person. Cynical maybe.. a bit of a reality checker, but my perception is that you hear other's experiences (or fantasies) and wish them well, even if it's comes with a warning lable.

Leatherist -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:48:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: OmegaG There have been several threads started where people have discussed reasonable and logical uses for this term, yet so many retort with "well, yeah, it sounds good in theory but NOBODY uses the term that way". Even when their is an alternative mindset and it appears those opposed to it are listening, in reality they are holding fast to their own paradigm and feeling superior to other points of view. It's far more refreshing to hear "I hasn't thought of it that way, thanks". That would indicate to me that while it's not their cup of tea, they truly are open to new information. What about someone like me? I say "It's a great theory, but almost no one actually practices it well." Does that mean I'm closed to new information? If I honestly am enlightened or surprised by someone's information, I will say so. But just because no one has offered new information, doesn't mean I'm not open to it when it comes along. There really ARE people who have been around the block a few dozen times. Expecting them to have the same reaction and perspective as someone who hasn't is unrealistic. Just because we recognize what reality IS doesn't necessarily mean we're closed off to what it COULD be. When your input is limited by what you can, or are willing to recieve, so is your output. I suppose you have been everyone you speak of-so you can honestly expouse the truth of it all? Or are you just theorizing on a very limited pinhole view of a much bigger picture?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:51:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I suppose you have been everyone you speak of-so you can honestly expouse the truth of it all? You'll have to show me there I did that.

charlotte12 -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 10:51:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I feel that a lot of what causes arguments here is that people have an ego centric view of the world. And feel that everyone else can, or should feel the way that they do-especially about ways to conduct an alternate lifestyle. I like to look at things from many sides-I find it more enlightening than simply trying to enforce my views on others. What do you think?? Stop trying to force open-mindedness on us! Just because you want to see things from many sides does not mean that's better than sticking steadfast behind your own way and not learning from anyone else! [;)] charlotte

toservez -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 11:17:11 AM)
It is human nature for people wanting to feel validated about their beliefs and life choices. For some that does mean I am right and anyone who disagrees is challenging my intelligence, choices in life and telling me my personal experiences are invalid. Most human beings and I think on this board, otherwise I would not read let alone post, though do not go into a level that they are consciously judging others or lash out irrationally. Most of the people who post the absolute gross generalizations and take offense when people call them out on it are just people who are unfortunately damaged probably in their self-esteem. Now a lot of people can only think and communicate by filtering information and forming an opinion based solely on their own personal values, experiences and point of view so in that vain I do see this a lot on this message board. I also see that in every other message board and everywhere else. So when they go on a message board they will only write in reference to these things on a personal nature with little ability to see others as different human beings. But to me these types of people are not judging others remotely but are just communicating the only way they know how and never flame people but can be the victim of people who do. They still provide a ton of great information and advice as much as anyone else.

Leatherist -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 11:26:46 AM)
quote: I say "It's a great theory, but almost no one actually practices it well." ?

DesFIP -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 11:27:59 AM)
I don't believe anybody can see something from another's viewpoint. And I think it very arrogant when people claim to have this magical ability to read minds. I can be openminded enough to hear another's view, to read about it, and to think it over in relation to my viewpoint. But what it comes down to is the fact that my pov is informed by my past, my experiences, my emotions. Of course I'm egocentric and nothing wrong with that. If I tried to live someone else's life I'd do a piss poor job of it because I'm not them, I'm me. And the only things that will make me happy are those things that fit with my history, my background, my value system etc. Nothing wrong in being egocentric. What's wrong is not recognizing that everyone else is, and that they have the same right and responsibility to make choices designed to make them happy also.

colouredin -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 11:28:42 AM)
People have opinions, they believe in those opinions if they didnt then they wouldnt be their opinions. I actually disagree that peoples opinions are the reason that arguments start, an argument is differant to a debate, and my pet peve on here is people saying "oh if i see another thread like this ...." I revel in other peoples opinions I enjoy having mine challanged because I am of an age where i realise that my opinions can change. Some people have been round the block and their opinions are less likely to change, that doesnt in itself make them egotistical. The problem comes when it degenerates to insults because someone doesnt agree with you which often happens but is nothing more than a sign that the person hasnt got any foundations for their belief. In life there are virtually no facts just ideas. The way i live my life may be very differant from the way someone else lives theirs, neither is the right way it is simply the way that is right for them. One would think that people involved ina lifestyle such as this are more sensitive top the fact that ignorant judgements are not helpful but some arent. This is not every person on the boards in fact its a very small minority. Sharing your opinion is differant from forcing it on others, and often that term is used simply because they dont agree with the opinion or else it would be hoots whistles and claps.

antipode -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 1:40:42 PM)
Wozzamatter with you? I love my ego! (and if the other person can't push back, intelligently, they're not worth my spending time on them)(is what 16 years in the big Apple does for you - and I was plenty arrogant to begin with... grin)

celticlord2112 -> RE: Self projection, stepping outside of the box. (2/21/2008 1:48:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I feel that a lot of what causes arguments here is that people have an ego centric view of the world. And feel that everyone else can, or should feel the way that they do-especially about ways to conduct an alternate lifestyle. I like to look at things from many sides-I find it more enlightening than simply trying to enforce my views on others. What do you think?? I state that which I know in my experience to be true. I presume others do the same. I enjoy analyzing the differences.

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