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ProtagonistLily -> RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help (9/20/2005 9:15:39 PM)
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quote:
I have just come to realize that I yearn to be dominated in the bedroom, but I am overweight and very self-conscious, mostly due to the fact that although they say it doesn't matter and they love my personality, it really does!!
I have seen quite a few pics of overweight Subs/Slaves - I wanted to know if it really is true that there are Doms out there that are willing to train a Sub/Slave even if she isn't Barbie?
I would just love to believe that I will find a Dom and be able to discuss things and find out what really is there for me.
Beth
This sounds like a problem that needs some serious intervention via a therapist of some sort. Normally, those of us with some weight can work through our issues and either accept our current weight, decide to do something, or succumb and allow it to debilitate us in some way. You seem to be in the debilitation phase.
I'm fat. Fuck this BBW crap; I'm 5'10 and about 280. I'm wearing a size 24 right now. Since I've been in the scene actively seeking Dominant partners, my weight has not been an issue. There are thinner girls and bigger girls than me in my local scene and other places. BDSM in my experience is much less the meat market the vanilla world is.
I have a Dominant who I'm owned by. He's an absolutely gorgeous man; he weighs half what I do, works out, and frankly I feel like I hit the man jackpot because of how lovely he is to look at. (and before someone jumps my shit, yes I'm objectifying him openly and yes he has much more to offer than just a beautiful body. In all honesty, I fell in love with his mind, and it was a bonus he was so yummy looking ~grin~.) He wasn't someone openly interested in women who were heavy. But he chose to see beyond his own discriminatory thoughts and get to know me. This man persued me; and after about a month, I gave in most willingly.
I remember the first time I went to the Black Rose weekend. It was in my first year of being a member of my local BDSM organization. I went with some friends who'd been many times before. I remember feeling a little apprehensive because I was afraid it was going to be like the "Miss America" of kink, and that I would be out of place or the oddity. Guess what? There's fat chicks and fat guys and skinny chicks and skinny guys and people in the middle all over the place in this life. Just like there is in vanilla. The differance is, in my experience, that looks are only a part of what attracts us to each other in D/s relationships.
To me, it sounds as if you are really somewhat afraid of entering into a BDSM relationship and are using your size in order to keep you away and have something to obsess about so that you don't actually have to make the leap. If that's really what you want, then this issue will probably protect you from taking a risk.
But if it's not, then really you have a choice to make. Either you are going to accept where you are at, change it, or let it eat you from the inside out. The choice is yours.
Lily
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