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Viridana -> RE: An Age Old Question (2/22/2008 3:57:54 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: awakenednj
With that said... Does anyone actually know of any couple- D/s or Vanilla with a 30 year age difference that worked well over a significant period of time? He's 60 she's 30. Is this type of age difference more common in the BDSM world? Any practical tips on making that sort of thing work? The worries aren't for short term things, as they get along well together and seemingly make each other very happy. The worries come in when discusions turn more serious and long-term sounding. He has a son her age, her family would NEVER accept him as anything but a perv etc.
Any practical advice from someone who has sucessfully dealt with this sort of relationship would be very welcome. Thanks!
I've been together with my partner for almost two years now (I know, not very long, but I hope I can give a perspective anyways), and there are 22 years between us, me being 25 and him being 47. We have been living together for over a year now
He has three children, the oldest one being one year older than me. His youngest is 11 years old and stays with us every other weekend. The first 3 months of our relationship we were both terrified of what our family would say. We decided to make the big jump and go public with our relationship, because we needed to face the reactions, we were tired of having this as a secret.
At first the was some negative reaction from his parents and mine. But not near as bad reactions as we had suspected. After his parents met me and my parents met him, all the negative atmosphere disappeared. His kids have taken me well, specially the oldest and the youngest. The middle kid, a 17 year old boy has voiced his opinion on how disgusting he thinks the relationship is. We have handled the situation by telling him that this is his fathers choice, his father is happy and therefore he should be happy for his father. He's always welcome at our home and we treat him with all our possible hospitality. But we have told him that if he feels that he can't control his distaste for me, then maybe a visit to us isn't the brightest idea.
His oldest offspring, one year older than me, really likes me and we have made a good friendship connection. I needed a job for a month last summer and she being a manager at a restaurant employed be for that month. While working together she started calling me mom and we and the rest of the staff had a really good laugh. She regularly comes to visit and we spend some quality time together all three of us.
Age difference really is one of those factors that can strain a relationship. Different generations, different views, maturity and whatnot. So if one is really going to make a relationship with an age gap work, both parties involved really have to click.. and at time put some extra work into it.
For me, if my family wouldn't accept my partner, I would of course not be happy about it. But I feel that with me being an adult, it is not my family's place to push some extra "upbringing" on me. They raised me to be a responsible adult and make my own choices. Now that I'm an adult and have made some choices that make me happy it's pretty late to be whining about me doing exactly the thing that they raised me to do. I want my family to be happy for me and happy for the choices I make. They don't have to like it, they can tell me so, but I expect family and friends to make peace with my choices that concern me, as I would do vice versa with them.
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