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RE: An Age Old Question - 2/22/2008 6:22:34 AM

OmegaG

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Common theme I've seen with other singles I know who have 17/18 year old boys is that they are very judgemental about unconventional relationships of their parents-- I'm not just talking about your age difference, but I have single female friends who date men of the same age as them and the teen boys spew just as much displeasure.

The age topic is never going to get a general concesus because people don't always mature emotionally the equals their chronilogical age (and excuse any spelling errors, I'm sans my Diet Dew this morning). I personally preferred men that were older when I was much younger but as I aged my preference changed to men who were younger (for a long time my age changed but the men I dated stayed relatively the same). I have difficulty dating someone who's life expereinces were shaped by the Viet Nam war as I remember that period though a child's eyes. But I also have a hard time dating men of my own age who never left the 80s. Sure it was a period of time that shaped me, but I didn't stagnate after that decade and I was also shaped by the 90s and the current decade.

Any relationship will work if a commonality can be found, though life expereinces, philosophical paradigms, hobbies/interests....

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RE: An Age Old Question - 2/22/2008 7:32:56 AM

awakenednj

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Paulsgirl

It's not just possible it's divine.....

I certainly hope so!!! It seems like it could be.... but I worry...

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RE: An Age Old Question - 2/22/2008 7:38:48 AM

MaamJay

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Master and i have been together since 2003, 24/7 since June 2004 ... He is 15 years younger than me. As W/we share lots of common interests ... W/we play and sing rock music together (though He's not so keen on my folkie stuff), He scrapbooks photos with me, W/we love driving holidays and enjoy stopping to see the same sorts of things, i'm happy to come and watch Him race His RC cars sometimes, W/we watch similar TV shows, follow the same sports, read similar books, do crosswords ... W/we really rarely notice the age gap in a negative way. More just a laugh when i begin singing a song and He looks at me blankly and i say "oh You weren't born yet!" Or with the band ... i have to sing "Summer of 69" because He wasn't born till 71!

My mother was rather shocked when I left ex-hub and headed off with Master ... who she thought of as our lodger LOL! However she very rapidly came round when it was obvious to her how much happier I am ... "I've got my old daughter back!" I thought it would be trickier with Master's parents, I am pretty close in age to His Mum LOL! And I did wonder if they would be upset over the absence of grandkiddys (I'm now menopausal but got neutered years ago!). However, He has always dated older women so they were used to it ... and they told me quite early on "We have never seen him so happy ... so we are happy!" It's worked out fine.

We do have to get used to the occasional odd look from people who can't quite work out whether we are partners ... or mother and son! (I hate that LOL!). Master just cracks up laughing at "Please tell your Mum ..."! He doesn't mind "Please tell your wife ..." even though there's no official marriage, we certainly feel married. Meanwhile, we joke around a lot about who is going to push who in a wheelchair in 20+ years time! I think the plan is for Me to find a youngish and healthy slave ... so he can push Me and I can push Master in front

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: An Age Old Question - 2/22/2008 9:22:04 AM

Paulsgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

Master and i have been together since 2003, 24/7 since June 2004 ... He is 15 years younger than me. As W/we share lots of common interests ... W/we play and sing rock music together (though He's not so keen on my folkie stuff), He scrapbooks photos with me, W/we love driving holidays and enjoy stopping to see the same sorts of things, i'm happy to come and watch Him race His RC cars sometimes, W/we watch similar TV shows, follow the same sports, read similar books, do crosswords ... W/we really rarely notice the age gap in a negative way. More just a laugh when i begin singing a song and He looks at me blankly and i say "oh You weren't born yet!" Or with the band ... i have to sing "Summer of 69" because He wasn't born till 71!

My mother was rather shocked when I left ex-hub and headed off with Master ... who she thought of as our lodger LOL! However she very rapidly came round when it was obvious to her how much happier I am ... "I've got my old daughter back!" I thought it would be trickier with Master's parents, I am pretty close in age to His Mum LOL! And I did wonder if they would be upset over the absence of grandkiddys (I'm now menopausal but got neutered years ago!). However, He has always dated older women so they were used to it ... and they told me quite early on "We have never seen him so happy ... so we are happy!" It's worked out fine.

We do have to get used to the occasional odd look from people who can't quite work out whether we are partners ... or mother and son! (I hate that LOL!). Master just cracks up laughing at "Please tell your Mum ..."! He doesn't mind "Please tell your wife ..." even though there's no official marriage, we certainly feel married. Meanwhile, we joke around a lot about who is going to push who in a wheelchair in 20+ years time! I think the plan is for Me to find a youngish and healthy slave ... so he can push Me and I can push Master in front

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

i met my Master on a non bdsm site....He liked the same bands and films as i do....we share political orientation, spiritual beliefs and social class background. In fact we are closer in culture than i could ever be to anyone og my own age....my two youngest kids think he's groovy and cool and as their biological father is 15 years my junior they do not have ageist issues.......i work hard to stay fit and strong and when we are together our age difference never ever occurs to me.......no-one else seems to look or raise an eyebrow when we are out togther and we have very similar tastes in leather gear and biker gear clothes anyway.......

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RE: An Age Old Question - 2/22/2008 10:49:59 AM

Missokyst

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LOL umm.. I am an older woman. When I think of dating someone 30 yrs older than me, the picture in my head is too disturbing.
Although considering my kink nature has always been in me, I will probably enjoy being that little old lady with no teeth in the hospice, giving bj's to the orderlies.
Kyst

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RE: An Age Old Question - 2/22/2008 12:52:07 PM

DesFIP

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My late father in law was 20 years older than his second wife. 60 to 40 when they married. 25 years later she had regretted all of it. The age difference was such that he was uncomfortable with any of her friends, so she lost contact with them. His friends all retired and moved shortly after their marriage, so they saw no one. His physical condition meant they could no longer do shared outdoor activities, hunting, fishing etc. Because he could no longer do them, she wasn't permitted to. As a person he was very rigid, very controlling. She grew more and more unhappy with the years.

And by the end, she had spent 5 years nursing him 24/7, because he wouldn't allow her to get a nurse's aide in to give her a break. Her big excitement of the week was when the housekeeper came in to clean the house and she could go to the grocery store for an hour.

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RE: An Age Old Question - 2/22/2008 1:21:32 PM

awakenednj

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DesFIP- and that is exactly the nightmare I'm worried about. But in your story it seems that it they had changed a couple of factors - external friends and shared activities, would it have been better for them? I am so sorry for them that it did not work well in the end. But I am looking at this in a different light - could their relationship be seen as a warning against pitfalls? Or is this sort of thing ineveitable? If your old friends cannot deal, could new friends be made? If old activities can no longer be persued, could new interests be found?

That this happens and could happen so easliy scares me. But does it have to hapen this way?

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RE: An Age Old Question - 2/22/2008 1:40:10 PM

Paulsgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

LOL umm.. I am an older woman. When I think of dating someone 30 yrs older than me, the picture in my head is too disturbing.
Although considering my kink nature has always been in me, I will probably enjoy being that little old lady with no teeth in the hospice, giving bj's to the orderlies.
Kyst

My Master will make certain that i am giving bj's to the orderlies........
W/we got into a profound conversation the other day...it was about assissted suicide...you know when the end comes and i really am infirm and miserable and helpless.
(I feel we should be at choice about how we die). It is probably way off topic but just another thing that came up in conversation as i am so much the elder and just blurted it out really that whatever happens w/we remain forever friends and that he is there at the end for me.
That's a profound distance to have travelled in our communication in such a short space of time.

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RE: An Age Old Question - 2/22/2008 1:47:23 PM

Paulsgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

My late father in law was 20 years older than his second wife. 60 to 40 when they married. 25 years later she had regretted all of it. The age difference was such that he was uncomfortable with any of her friends, so she lost contact with them. His friends all retired and moved shortly after their marriage, so they saw no one. His physical condition meant they could no longer do shared outdoor activities, hunting, fishing etc. Because he could no longer do them, she wasn't permitted to. As a person he was very rigid, very controlling. She grew more and more unhappy with the years.

And by the end, she had spent 5 years nursing him 24/7, because he wouldn't allow her to get a nurse's aide in to give her a break. Her big excitement of the week was when the housekeeper came in to clean the house and she could go to the grocery store for an hour.

I am trying not to show sexism, genderism or ageism here and i really don't have the figures at hand to illustrate mortality rates. And i suppose a cross-cultural bit of research would have to be done to underpin my next statement: but generally speaking don't women outlast men? Therefore would it not make more sense longevity-wise for younger men to hook up with older women whatever their dynamic?

No flaming please, as i don't usually make sweeping statements like this, but it's just such a convention isn't it that men are older than women in the main in most forms of partnership.......or is that really a misconception?
Anyway despite our age difference, as the elder my stamina is more than adequate.....(big smiles)

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