Chuck Norris... (Full Version)

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breatheasone -> Chuck Norris... (2/21/2008 11:09:07 PM)

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch...HE decides what time it is...

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer...however He never cries.....

Chuck Norris marketed his urine...Its now called "Red Bull"

When Chuck Norris does push ups, he pushes the Earth down not himself up.




Leatherist -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/21/2008 11:11:36 PM)

And yet, he came from humble beginnings.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/323222



DaddyAndCarina -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/21/2008 11:49:53 PM)

I  like him ... he created a program that is in some schools locally  that  have lower income families ... It is a karate program that  starts in middle schools that  they can attend through  high school ... the kids have a competition every year in Vegas that  he foots a majority of the bills for ...  the children earn the right but they  dont  have to  stay  home ( when others go ) because they cant afford it.



breatheasone -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/22/2008 12:00:38 AM)

Yeah...hes cool....this are just in fun....We would subtitute friends or families names and get some good laughs as well....



DaddyAndCarina -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/22/2008 12:02:29 AM)

My son's  cockiness could make him fit in all those



sunshinemiss -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/22/2008 12:32:14 AM)

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.



hejira92 -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/22/2008 5:52:16 AM)

1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

2. Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
 
3. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

4. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
 
5. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
 
6. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

7. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

8. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

9. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

10. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

stolen from chucknorrisjokes.net



breatheasone -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/22/2008 6:00:39 AM)

When Chuck Norris goes to the beach he doesn't get sunburned...... The sun gets Chuck Norris'd

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting (hunting implies the possiblility of faliure) he goes killing.



Aubre -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/22/2008 6:51:53 AM)

On a non-funny Chuck Norris note, would there be any doubt that Mike Huckabee would have already dropped out if he hadn't gotten support from Chuck Norris?

Also the next President should name Chuck Norris Secretary of Defense.



knees2you -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/22/2008 11:23:21 PM)

[sm=brush.gif]~~~~~~~[sm=brush.gif]
 
His barbell~
 
As Always, ant[sm=idea.gif]



christine1 -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/22/2008 11:25:45 PM)

lol, this is great.  i've been a chuck norris fan for ages now...just something about him!



SteelofUtah -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/23/2008 12:54:07 AM)

Some people open up can's of Whoop Ass, Can's of Whoop Ass wish they could open a can of Chuck Norris.



SteelofUtah -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/24/2008 5:28:05 PM)

Some people are afraid of Vampies, but Vampires are Afraid of Chuck Norris.



Lumus -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/24/2008 5:44:00 PM)

In the beginning, there was darkness...

...until Chuck Norris threatened to roundhouse God if He didn't invent light.




breatheasone -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/25/2008 12:34:00 PM)

Chuck Norris got an erection as he was walking down the street one day....There were no survivors 



SteelofUtah -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/25/2008 2:41:37 PM)

Chuck Norris is So big his Dick has a Dick and even his Dick's Dick is bigger than your dick!



christine1 -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/25/2008 3:57:23 PM)

Why haven't they found a cure for cancer?  Because Chuck Norris has never shed a tear.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the ground down.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

edited to add, i should have read the whole thread before i posted...heh.



Lumus -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/25/2008 4:06:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

Why haven't they found a cure for cancer?  Because Chuck Norris has never shed a tear.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the ground down.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

edited to add, i should have read the whole thread before i posted...heh.



*hands you a "Get Into the Good Graces of Chuck Norris" card*

He can't roundhouse you if you hold that very tightly...his agent told me so.

*nodnodnodnodnods*




christine1 -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/25/2008 4:32:22 PM)

heh...i'll just give him my best innocent, puppy dog face....then he'll only be able to kiss and hug me....



Lumus -> RE: Chuck Norris... (2/25/2008 4:42:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

heh...i'll just give him my best innocent, puppy dog face....then he'll only be able to kiss and hug me....


Dog is Man's best friend; Chuck Norris has his roundhouse kick and the blood of his enemies...




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