Do you recognize this anecdote?

Do you recognize this anecdote? (Full Version)

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reticent -> Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/17/2005 8:29:32 PM)
Hello. I read the following anecdote - probably in a book, but possibly on a website. I'm hoping to find it again because I think my top would get a kick out of it. If you know where I read this story, please tell me... So the story goes: a male top gets together with a female bottom that he met online. She had said that she loves to be caned. But every time he caned her in a moderate way, she safeworded out, so he asked what was up with that. It turned out that she had only ever been "cyber-caned" before that.... Thanks for your help.

MissChicane -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/17/2005 8:33:50 PM)
lol omg

theRose4U -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/17/2005 8:44:00 PM)
That is ABSOLTUELY HYSTERICAL & as far as the source...it can be found in the chat room on any given day IRL

JohnWarren -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/17/2005 9:41:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: reticent Hello. I read the following anecdote - probably in a book, but possibly on a website. I'm hoping to find it again because I think my top would get a kick out of it. If you know where I read this story, please tell me... So the story goes: a male top gets together with a female bottom that he met online. She had said that she loves to be caned. But every time he caned her in a moderate way, she safeworded out, so he asked what was up with that. It turned out that she had only ever been "cyber-caned" before that.... Thanks for your help. That's from the well-known author Jay Wiseman. It's a cautionary tale of one more question that has to be added to the standard set of questions asked before sceneing. The actual text as Jay told it to Libby and me was "at the first stroke she leaped up and screamed 'it never hurt online'"

TexasMaam -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 2:52:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren quote: ORIGINAL: reticent Hello. I read the following anecdote - probably in a book, but possibly on a website. I'm hoping to find it again because I think my top would get a kick out of it. If you know where I read this story, please tell me... So the story goes: a male top gets together with a female bottom that he met online. She had said that she loves to be caned. But every time he caned her in a moderate way, she safeworded out, so he asked what was up with that. It turned out that she had only ever been "cyber-caned" before that.... Thanks for your help. That's from the well-known author Jay Wiseman. It's a cautionary tale of one more question that has to be added to the standard set of questions asked before sceneing. The actual text as Jay told it to Libby and me was "at the first stroke she leaped up and screamed 'it never hurt online'" I remember reading that text the first time several years ago. I thought it was 'funny' at the time, but I hadn't searched online for a sub at that time and didn't truly appreciate it. Now, I can really relate. <RUNS from emails that containanything remotely resembling the following: "...I've been wanting to explore some submissive tendencies I think I've always had and I've spent a little time online w/a cyberDomme, and was hoping you'd consider...." chortle! Texas Maam

FTopinMichigan -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 6:17:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: reticent So the story goes: a male top gets together with a female bottom that he met online. She had said that she loves to be caned. But every time he caned her in a moderate way, she safeworded out, so he asked what was up with that. It turned out that she had only ever been "cyber-caned" before that.... Can't help ya find the story, but can tell you that I lived it! When first starting out, my only interest was spanking fun. I met quite a few men that implied experience, and a few that stated they were new. After the first VERY light smack, they cried out that it hurt. Fantasy and reality ARE quite different, as they found out. Let's just say I don't meet totally new folks anymore, for play. I used to run a BDSM orientated Singles group in Detroit, and a man joined saying he had over twenty years of experience as a Dom. He began to speak with other women in the group, and it came back to me that this man was totally inexperience, and possibly a danger to others. As the group facilitator, I knew I had to act on this, and immediately approached the man with my concerns. He was open to the conversation (after his initial anger), and it turned out that his twenty years of experience, was that he had only "thought" about it for that long. Seriously. Fortunately, he was open to learning and agreed to join a few information/instructional groups in the area, as well as to get involved with a mentor. He worked to do this, but unfortunately passed away before realizing much of what he only enjoyed in his mind. K K

WickedKev -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 8:56:53 AM)
I was told this story by someone very well known. She decided to work in a chat room for subs that had been abused and one of the first people that came in said; "My Master is abusing me me and I don't know how to handle it, he beats me and I safeword and he refuses to stop, he just continues." My friend was very concerned about this and went on to talk to her about how she shouldn't allow herself to be abused this way how Masters have a responsibility to thier subs. Then she asked asked if she had reported him to the police. The sub said no, she didn't know what to do. So my friend asked what do you do when he does this to you. She said "I normally have to walk away from the computer." My friend needless to say never went back to that chat room.

krazysubbiekat -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 10:03:28 AM)
Hmmmmmm...okay I don't think it is a secret that I am more than a little than a little star struck over Mr. Warren, but am I the only one who noticed that the two of the more recognized and public names in this lifestyle actually KNOW each other? I mean I for one would have given my right arm to be a fly on the wall when John and Libby and Jay Wiseman were sitting around chatting about this thing we do. Just my .02 kat

TexasMaam -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 10:09:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan Can't help ya find the story, but can tell you that I lived it! When first starting out, my only interest was spanking fun. I met quite a few men that implied experience, and a few that stated they were new. After the first VERY light smack, they cried out that it hurt. Fantasy and reality ARE quite different, as they found out. I once went to a great deal of effort to set up a situation that allowed My sub to be put on display, one of his fondest fantasies. We had discussed the consequences of real time humiliation as opposed to fantasy humiliation in depth, and I took every possible precaution to make certiain he truly wanted to experience this activity. While hogtied on the floor of a resort town B&B, in front of a very private, hand selected audience, the boy absolutely wimped out. He enjoyed the fantasy, the reality was too much. Needless to say, I drastically cut the entire session short to protect him. Causing him permanent anguish was never My intent and while I'm happy to explore and even push limits, breaking them is never a good thing. On the way back home, mind you, only two days later, he whined about not having had a more severe session or more activity in front of the audience. [X(] Oy! Vey! boyz! Texas Maam

JohnWarren -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 12:38:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: krazysubbiekat Hmmmmmm...okay I don't think it is a secret that I am more than a little than a little star struck over Mr. Warren, but am I the only one who noticed that the two of the more recognized and public names in this lifestyle actually KNOW each other? I mean I for one would have given my right arm to be a fly on the wall when John and Libby and Jay Wiseman were sitting around chatting about this thing we do. Just my .02 kat At the time Jay related this incident, he and I were in a car with Libby, Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton. [ego moment] Think of the TERRIBLE consequences of an accident at that moment! Actually, the world of BDSM publishing is quite small. Even before Molly Devon and Phillip Miller published Screw the Roses, we were friends and (sorta in a state sense) neighbors. Tristan Taomino (Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women) was the executive assistant of my first publisher and she and I often chatted before I got to yell at him. Laura Antoniou and I got "detail searched" together at an airport a few months ago as Libby and Laura's wife, Karen, giggled together having gone through without a blink. Jack Rinella (Becoming a Slave) will be staying with Libby and me later this winter while doing booksignings for local clubs here in Florida. Deborah Addington (Hand in the Bush) and I have been wildly flirting for years but we still haven't figured out who does what to whom with what evil tool. Call it a LONG negotiation. What's most amazing is I've never seen one gram of jealousy among the BDSM authors over each other's success. It's really a wonderful group of people and a far cry from other author groups that have more of a resemblance to a National Geographic special on sharks.

KatyLied -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 2:45:15 PM)
cyber caning doesn't equal real time caning? Who knew? LOL

EvilGeoff -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 3:53:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren What's most amazing is I've never seen one gram of jealousy among the BDSM authors over each other's success. It's really a wonderful group of people and a far cry from other author groups that have more of a resemblance to a National Geographic special on sharks. <fanboy mode /on> I have to admit to my own bit of star-struckishness at having had the opportunity over the last few years to meet many of the notables that Mr Warren has mentioned, and some he has not. Janet Hardy and Jay Wiseman both made generous donations to a fund-raising raffle I organized to help Master Doug Harris and his family deal with medical expenses incured while his slave and partner, boy bob, fought the last stages of his terminal illness. (We raised over $1500!) And viola Johnson is spearheading "Welcome Home" - a project aimed at creating a retirement/assisted living community for leatherfolk, where our partners, slaves, submissives, Doms, Owners will be welcome in our later years. It's a project I've donated to and gladly promote when given the opportunity. One thing I have noted in all of the notable leatherfolk I have met is a genuine passion for sharing the best of this lifestyle with others, including each other. These authors and teachers support one another at presentations, events, and with their pet projects be it NCSF, Welcome Home, the Leather Archives & Museum, AIDS research, Sue Kuhn's Camp for kids with AIDS, whatever.... I've never seen any back-biting or jealousy over someone else's success (though I know they don't always agree with one another! grin) Everything I know and emulate about this leather community I've learned from them, by example. It's like this saying I so strongly believe: Blood may be thicker than water, but Leather is thicker than blood. And like viola Johnson said: "Each one, teach one." Gawd, I sound like a kid with a crush.... funny thing is, other than being a lot older than a kid, it's true. I have heroes in this lifestyle, and I've been blessed with the opportunity to learn from many of them, and to have met a few (including Mr Warren {who would not remember me from Adam's tomcat from his "Mindfuck" presentation to CAPEX in Charlotte, NC a while back}...). I've learned so much about myself through the words and ideas and feelings they've shared, and I have no way to repay that debt except to try to pass on that love of this community to those who come behind me. <fanboy mode /off> Dadgum it... I made myself blush. Better hush before I gush some more. Folks, get out to your local education groups, get out to leather events. Avail yourself of the opportunities to learn about the real deal from real people. You can cyber-cane here all you want to but you'll never learn to throw a single tail like Bob Deegan or Robert Dante' or Boomer or whoever unless you get out there to the classes and learn! Meet your heroes f-2-f, they're out there! YIK, - Geoff

nella -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 4:05:59 PM)
Oh dear, what a story, but yes, i must say some of the online BDSM pepole are crasy, i tell you absolutly insane they are. i mwan i like to do a bit of cybersex now and then, it is fun, esepcialy since i get to be a sexy selnder vampire whit long black hair and emerald green eyes, or a little, pretty mage whit red curls or a strong, sexy female werewolf or whatever, but pepole, cuber sex, is cybersex, it is for fun, nothing else, but many dont seam to get that.

TVMistressHelen -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 4:07:32 PM)
Cyber. Where's the fun in that?

nella -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 4:10:54 PM)
The same fun as in reading and erotic story, just that cyber sex is interactive. [:D]

JohnWarren -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 5:20:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff been blessed with the opportunity to learn from many of them, and to have met a few (including Mr Warren {who would not remember me from Adam's tomcat from his "Mindfuck" presentation to CAPEX in Charlotte, NC a while back}...). I always have a great time at CAPEX, but it is a bit overwhelming. They are a wonderful and enthusiastic group. [grin] Ah "Mindfuck"... pussies with knives in them and white hot pieces of metal... my favorite demo

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 6:13:11 PM)
PFFFTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! (That was me spraying coffee all over my computer monitor). I'd never heard that before, but I can see it happening. LOL

LadyAngelika -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 6:41:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nella The same fun as in reading and erotic story, just that cyber sex is interactive. [:D] And it is also the place that a lot of people start out. Some people need to wrap their head around certain things before they can actually go out and try it. Cyber-sex can present such a venue. Of course, what is sad in this above story is not that the person had cyber-sex, but that they didn't relate that their experience was only cyber-sex. Then again, given the way many respond to cyber-sex, do you blame them for not mentioning it? - LA

nella -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 7:00:18 PM)
Yes some seam to belive cybersex is the real thing, it is rather rad realy, especialy in BDSM cyber many do, perhaps somone is so frusterated sexualy they just grasp and hold only every straw as if it were a lifeline.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Do you recognize this anecdote? (9/18/2005 7:04:36 PM)
Actually nella, the point of my post was not that cyber-sex was sad, but that the fact that some people might conceal that this is their only experience for fear of being judged is what is sad. Cyber-sex is what it is. An outlet for some, a starting ground for others. - LA

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