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ThornTheEternal -> Why (2/22/2008 8:45:53 PM)




Why is it so difficult to find that one sub/slave that you look for?





Lumus -> RE: Why (2/22/2008 8:50:25 PM)

Because good things don't come to fruition without effort...?




AquaticSub -> RE: Why (2/22/2008 8:51:57 PM)

Figure out why it takes the "vanillas" to find their perfect match.

It's the same reason.



ThornTheEternal -> RE: Why (2/22/2008 9:00:29 PM)




Yeah I know but you would think after three years something but anyways.





AquaticSub -> RE: Why (2/22/2008 9:02:43 PM)

I wouldn't. That's not really a long amount of time. It took that long for just Valyraen and I to be single at the same time to give things a shot.



Phin -> RE: Why (2/22/2008 9:05:00 PM)

quit looking... that is what I did when I found my wife. go out to the socials etc, talk mingle have fun, but dont carry expectations.



Rushemery -> RE: Why (2/22/2008 9:10:11 PM)

Good things come to people who wait but also if you let fruit set too long you get fruit flys so your guess is as good as mine



SilentTigresss -> RE: Why (2/22/2008 9:31:19 PM)

Better being alone than poorly accompanied



Noah -> RE: Why (2/22/2008 9:43:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThornTheEternal

Why is it so difficult to find that one sub/slave that you look for?




When I'm looking I'm careful not to look "for that one." 

So I'll disagree with those who say don't look, at least partly. I'll say look, but just look around, don't look for.

I'm blessed to know some pretty amazing people whom I met here, for instance. None of them were "what I was looking for"(largely but not solely because I gave up on that kind of looking a while ago.) Each one of these people, as I look back on it, turned out to fit my life in ways I hadn't anticipated; brought beauties I hadn't known to look for.

They did this partly by having traits I wouldn't have known to put on my "look for" list. They did it partly by having traits I might have put on my "avoid" list, for that matter.

This is why I shudder a little when I read or hear someone saying "I know exactly what I'm looking for." Not you, Thorn, but others.  If a person never steps outside, can he really appreciate how far from the sky his little ceiling may be?

For instance, I married one of those people I was quite specifically not looking for. She's more delicious and scrumptious than any pastry I could have conjured up. Think how glad I am that I didn't shoulder past her in a search for ...  something I had decided to search for.

Look for fun, for experience, for growth and learning, etc. Reach but don't grasp might be another way to say it. I dunno. Be a decent guy and a good friend and you might get invited to test-drive some top-shelf partners between now and when yours materializes, if you're into that.

With a little luck, Thorn, the universe will commit a random act of senseless beauty on your ass. Try not to be too distracted by the one your're looking for. As for the time it takes, a decent relationship can take years to build, but a miracle can happen in the wink of an eye.



SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Why (2/22/2008 10:12:13 PM)

I took a perv at your profile. I'm going to resist the urge to point out that you are quite young and have a lot of time to search. [smile]

But, the first part of your profile says you'll be away for some time and not picking up emails. There is an update, but it's quite a ways down. Perhaps a first look at your profile discourages potential subs from delving deeper. Might I suggest editing the essay rather than just adding to the bottom?



silvermuse -> RE: Why (2/22/2008 10:21:52 PM)

Thorn, it took my Master almost 12 years..

muse



SailingBum -> RE: Why (2/23/2008 3:01:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThornTheEternal




Yeah I know but you would think after three years something but anyways.





Life is a journey, not a destination.  While it took me 40 years to find the one.  That is not to say I didn't enjoi each and every person along the way.  And no I never whined.  Why can't I find the one. I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for BUT I will know it when I find it.  I may have been looking in the wrong places.  I met my girl playing volleyball... go figure.




PinkDice -> RE: Why (2/23/2008 3:30:13 AM)

I, too, feel the emptiness in not having a partner to share myself with. What works for me is to take that angst and direct it towards expanding and exploring my interests rather than focusing on the "poor me, I'm all alone" and waiting for the universe to drop that special someone into my lap.

In vanilla interactions finding that special someone to compliment you is a common problem. The more you add specific interests and needs, the more difficult it becomes (and for the most part the more rewarding in the end).



MidMichCowboy -> RE: Why (2/23/2008 4:20:06 AM)

There are many who assume that there is one out there waiting for you to find them. I don't believe there has to be the one. I don't believe in predestination. I'm more a believer in the chaos theory. So the idea that this is a journey is much more descriptive.
I have good friends who say you must make a choice .. hold out for the rare chance of meeting your soulmate, or being realistic and finding someone compatable whom you can learn to love. That is a choice each must make. That is a decision I struggle with each day.



eyesopened -> RE: Why (2/23/2008 4:40:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThornTheEternal




Yeah I know but you would think after three years something but anyways.





Life is a journey, not a destination.  While it took me 40 years to find the one.  That is not to say I didn't enjoi each and every person along the way.  And no I never whined.  Why can't I find the one. I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for BUT I will know it when I find it.  I may have been looking in the wrong places.  I met my girl playing volleyball... go figure.


This is great advice!  Sometimes people are so intent on the destination that they forget to enjoy the journey and the scenery along the way.  Also, sometimes people want everything to be perfect before acting.  Things will never be 'perfect' so why not act anyway?  Why not experience all there is to experience? 



SailingBum -> RE: Why (2/23/2008 4:58:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThornTheEternal




Yeah I know but you would think after three years something but anyways.





Life is a journey, not a destination.  While it took me 40 years to find the one.  That is not to say I didn't enjoi each and every person along the way.  And no I never whined.  Why can't I find the one. I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for BUT I will know it when I find it.  I may have been looking in the wrong places.  I met my girl playing volleyball... go figure.


This is great advice!  Sometimes people are so intent on the destination that they forget to enjoy the journey and the scenery along the way.  Also, sometimes people want everything to be perfect before acting.  Things will never be 'perfect' so why not act anyway?  Why not experience all there is to experience? 


Thanks for the props.  Your statement bears repeating.

BadOne



Justme696 -> RE: Why (2/23/2008 5:00:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

quit looking... that is what I did when I found my wife. go out to the socials etc, talk mingle have fun, but dont carry expectations.


same here..always when iIgive up "forcefully" looking and start to relax (read; beeing myself)  I find the right one.



eyesopened -> RE: Why (2/23/2008 5:08:11 AM)

SailingBum,
i have been criticized for having partners for whom i felt no more emotion than fondness, for finding joy in serving without 'love' for being open to experience without committment.  But for me, all these things helped me to grow, to know myself better and to know my Master when He found me.  i had made the decision to enjoy the adventure that is life, to discover the paths not well worn, to not be afraid to throw the compass away, confident that eventually all roads lead home again.



lronitulstahp -> RE: Why (2/23/2008 5:15:44 AM)

Why not use this as a time for experiment?  Developing Your "craft", so to speak...honing Your skills as a Master?  One of the things that comes from playing along the way, is You learn from having a variety of partners.  For instance...every person has a different "hot-spot".  There are all kinds of kinksters out there.  You have Your painsluts, babygirls, brats, service sluts, there's a plethora of people to have fun with in between finding Your "one".  You may surprise Yourself and discover what You first sought isn't what You like.  Some Dom's want nothing other than a painslut until they meet a real masochist's masochist...then they run to the hills screaming.  And some, who started only liking the occasional spanking become sick twisted sadists that live for bruises welts, and blood trickles.  One never knows...but there is so much delight in finding out.



SailingBum -> RE: Why (2/23/2008 5:21:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

SailingBum,
i have been criticized for having partners for whom i felt no more emotion than fondness, for finding joy in serving without 'love' for being open to experience without committment.  But for me, all these things helped me to grow, to know myself better and to know my Master when He found me.  i had made the decision to enjoy the adventure that is life, to discover the paths not well worn, to not be afraid to throw the compass away, confident that eventually all roads lead home again.


It's kind of like the old adage.  If you see a fork in the road take it.

BadOne



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