Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (Full Version)

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YourhandMyAss -> Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 10:32:04 PM)

that courts will give the abuser an equal chance at custody, if they've only beaten and terroized their spouce, but have not yet laid a hand on their off spring?

I  don't know much about things like this, only thing I know my information from is shows based on true cases of abuse, where the courts have ruled the domestic abuser must have fair share of custody unless the child is being abused too.

and if it is true, why? It's not a big leap to assume beats spouce will in time potentially turn anger onto the off spring. Why must courts await that violence to be a reality before helpin out?



PanthersMom -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 10:38:40 PM)

yes it is true.  the reasoning is that since the abuser has only targeted the spouse that they cannot deny custody based on what may or may not happen.  both parents have the right to fight for custody.  a responsible court will order psych evals for both parents and appoint a guardian ad litem for the children to look out for their best interests.  many courts these days are favoring the idea of shared custody and in my case, we were required to take parenting class for divorcing parents before we could even get a court date for the divorce.  best of luck to the parties involved.
PM



Alumbrado -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 10:41:36 PM)

The courts often treat the dispute between the adults, and the visitation/custody of children as two separate items.



CrimsonMoan -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 10:44:24 PM)

I would assume they would also take into account whether any abuse was witnessed by the children which does happen in many cases.



laurell3 -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 10:46:45 PM)

There's no way to answer this question in general.  Every case depends on the facts on that paticular case.  If he only beat her but put her in the hospital and got convicted for it, here that would undoubtedly be some compelling evidence that custody for him may not be in the best interests of the child.  However, keep in mind, many people claim abuse or child sexual assault in divorce cases where it may not have actually happened.  The fact that one party says something without further proof really means not alot.  Additonally, you really end up alot of times in a situation where you are balancing two evils.  It's not all that common to see just one party in a marriage having really really bad habits and the other not.  The mother that stayed with the father that abused her while the kids watched isn't blameless either.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 10:52:47 PM)

I've purposly kept it gender neutral, cause while it's not as common as male on female abuse, there is female on male abuse too.

Am I skewed in the thought that courts, in a whole shouldn't sit around and lets see it, when it comes to issues like these? to me, a violent out of control person, shouldn't be around helpless innocents, weather they've yet to beat or threaten or hurt said person.



defiantbadgirl -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 10:53:04 PM)

That's the way it is but I certainly don't agree with it. For one, the abuser might start abusing the children since they no longer have the spouse. For another, boys are at an increased chance of growing up to be abusers. If they grow up seeing it, they think it's normal to do it. It would be far better to keep the children away from the abusive parent and get them to a counselor that can make sure they understand such behavior is wrong and in no way normal.



laurell3 -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 10:57:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I've purposly kept it gender neutral, cause while it's not as common as male on female abuse, there is female on male abuse too.

Am I skewed in the thought that courts, in a whole shouldn't sit around and lets see it, when it comes to issues like these? to me, a violent out of control person, shouldn't be around helpless innocents, weather they've yet to beat or threaten or hurt said person.


How do you pick who is the worst parent?  That is what you end up doing by the way.  The one that stayed and let the kids watch it or the abuser?  Both are culpable under the law.  It's very very rarely truly one-sided in divorce, although every under the sun says it is in theirs.



Alumbrado -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 11:00:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrimsonMoan

I would assume they would also take into account whether any abuse was witnessed by the children which does happen in many cases.


There would have to be the same threshold of proof, etc. for removal of parental rights as there would be in any other case...and just seeing the parents fighting may or may not qualify... it isn't automatic. 



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 11:06:38 PM)

I think honestly the abuser is the worst parent. While the one who stuck around so it could happen, isn't mr is miss innocent as a rose, and just as fresh and clean as a rose, they had a valid fear keeping them there. What reason or excuse is a good enough reason to terroize and maybe eventually kill someone. so it's my opinion perhaps uninformed as it is, the one wreaking domestic abuse is the worst parent.



hisannabelle -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 11:08:36 PM)

greetings yourhandmyass,

that might be true...but at the same time, we have no knowledge of the rest of the situation. the one who sticks around might eventually end up abusing the child. s/he might be an alcoholic, or a drug addict, or have other problems that could also be damaging to the child. while i agree that being violent and abusive either to one's spouse or one's child is plenty of reason to deny custody, there are also a lot of OTHER reasons, and we have no idea what the character of the other parent may be like, either.

respectfully,
annabelle.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Is it true that in cases of domestic violence, ending in divorce or seperation, (2/22/2008 11:19:36 PM)

that is true annabell, It's so subjective.,,.



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