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RE: Am I expecting too much? - 2/24/2008 5:47:37 AM   
Drummerpunk7


Posts: 46
Joined: 2/20/2008
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The last few posts have inspired me greatly. Thank you all for your invaluable perspective and thoughts.

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Am I expecting too much? - 2/24/2008 9:17:24 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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Women who have low self worth or feel unlovable often have a child to give them someone to love them unconditionally.

Children demand all of your attention, you have to wipe their bottoms, feed the, clothe them, watch over them, shower them with love and attention.  In return they look up at you and see their whole world in you.  For some, that is enough, but it isn't an adult relationship, it is truly a parent child one and the goal is take that helpless baby and raise them to be a secure competent adult capable of fully functioning on their own.

What you seek is someone to look at you as a child would, nothing wrong with that, just remember what the goal is and find a way to achieve both.

(in reply to Drummerpunk7)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Am I expecting too much? - 2/24/2008 12:34:04 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Can you afford for her to be financially dependent on you? How are you going to cope when you are under the weather for a week and she still needs to be fed and micromanaged? Because if you've trained out any independence from her, she isn't magically going to snap back when you're sick.

Micromanagement is a fucking lot of work. Try it for a weekend first, or just two hours of non play life. Sure you want to be interrupted during an important play of the big game because she needs permission to go to the bathroom or have a glass of water?

Get some real experience in a power relationship before you get down to this kind of thing.

Plus you need to provide for her transitioning back in the event it doesn't work out. Six months of apartment costs plus retraining since she'll be out of her field. Plus the additional savings she would have if she had worked all that time. Health insurance, car etc.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Am I expecting too much? - 2/24/2008 2:51:30 PM   
Paulsgirl


Posts: 249
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThistleDown

quote:

ORIGINAL: Paulsgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drummerpunk7

and yet someone whom I can make happy by being all that she needs.

and above you switch back to the submissive

I want someone who needs for me to provide everything for them, from clothing to food.

Above you are a submissive....

I want someone who's only desire is to see me happy,

Above you have a slave

and yet someone whom I can make happy by being all that she needs.
who has just topped you......



  I disagree that these things would make him submissive. I see it as realistic. He wants to be important to her and cares about her emotional well being. I can understand the argument for the first and last comments, but I don’t for the middle one.   If he is the only person in the relationship with the ability to provide for her, how does that give her the control? It gives him the control. I think sometimes people forget that even in D/s or M/s both the Dom and the sub may provide for each other.
In some dynamics, it works to have the s-type providing for their d-type so that he/she will be more comfortable or life will be easier… what have you. In other dynamics, it works to have the d-type providing for their s-type so that he/she is made more dependent on the other. And in some dynamics, such as mine, I provide for my Master whatever it is he requests at the time that he requests it and meanwhile, he is the one that provides me with clothing, food… anything I could want (in that he decides if I may have it, if he so chooses, it would be taken away and thus I would be without. I therefore depend on him for these things at the same time that I provide him with the services he requests of me).
sorry for chopping apart your post by the way, I couldn't figure out a better way to put it together.

~puppy

no don't apologise i understand what you are desribing perfectly....in O/our case i provide entirely for myself in terms of financial matters but provide for Master emotionally, physically and sexually......
i was choppin and changing as i was figuring what i thought about Drummerpunk's dynamic and suffice it to say i think now, in retrospection that it is switchy and therein lies  what i call 'switch limbo'.....



_____________________________

Formerly Prinsexx

~There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.~
Anais Nin

(in reply to ThistleDown)
Profile   Post #: 44
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