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becaues your submissive - 2/23/2008 2:19:53 PM

OmegaG

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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First, thanks Matt's littleone for the question yesterday, not only did I enjoy the responses but it was great conversation fodder with m'Lord.

When I posed the question to him "what is the most submissive thing I could do" (and his abreviated answer is in the thread) I was suprised at his answer because much of what he mentioned I don't think about nor do I feel particularly submissive while doing it, it's just the right thing or the natural thing or the logical thing to do. So I told him this.

I also told him that several has suggested that anal is the most submissive according to their Partners, and again it's just something I do.

His answer was that the sexual acts are most definatley, in his mind, acts of Domination and submission, and the non sexual acts also defer to his Domination over me, he mused that maybe it's because I am submissive that I don't recognize it as such.

But then there are others who definately feel more submissive at certian times or during certian actions more then at other times.

So I'm still pondering this and trying to come to a better understanding.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

Post #: 1

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/23/2008 2:57:38 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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I don't think a specific act makes something Dominant or submissive. The context and intent on which it is done does to me.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 2

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/23/2008 10:04:51 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Ditto to the letter Sweet.

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Post #: 3

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/24/2008 11:15:09 AM

branbran77

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Joined: 2/12/2008
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Im a newbie here but my feelings on this are.....anal is the most submissive sexual act for me right now....I dont know if my Dom feels the same way or not...but becasue he knows that anal makes me feel submissive and that he has controll....this is really hard to put in words.....but we havent been together that long and he spends alot of time dominating me in nonsexual ways....his little orders...to do this or not do that....right now...i feel that obeying them is what makes me a sub

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/24/2008 11:17:38 AM

colouredin

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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I am not sure acts in themselves are submissive but the feelings one feels in doing the act, the desire coming not from themselves but from an overwhelming need to please the Dominant, the acts are purely the expressions of that it is more the feeling before hand i think.

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(in reply to branbran77)

Post #: 5

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/24/2008 12:41:36 PM

Missokyst

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I don't see acts as submission. I see intent as such.
I love anal, how is that submission in and of itself? Anal can be submissive if I have that spark with him. Or it can be just great sex.
Kyst

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 6

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/24/2008 1:01:21 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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I tend to agree with the things that have been stated above. I don't think there is a master (pardon the pun) list of submissive acts, but rather there are things that bring out a submissive feeling in a person. In the same token, I don't think there should be a list of things that Dominants should not do, lest it take away from their status as Dominants. Some people believe that rimming is strictly an act of submission. I believe that it is just hot. I love doing this for Daddy and when I do, I am doing it as His lover, His slave, His partner. It's just something that gives Him pleasure. So, it's the intent paired with the act that makes it feel like an act of submission to me. However, He sometimes rims me. He doesn't do it with a submissive mindset, but rather as an act of pleasing me sexually. If the specific act is anchored in a particular mindset, I think that trumps any preconceived notion that "x" or "y" is implicitly submissive or Dominant.

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Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

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(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 7

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/24/2008 1:32:21 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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There are dominants who order their subs to massage their prostates. Does that mean that the dominant is really a closet sub? Not at all.

If he enjoys getting a deep tissue massage from a shiatsu trained massage therapist, and asks me to learn to use a flogger to safely also give him a harder massage than I can with my hands, he is not a secret sub.

Intent does it all.

Plus if you get shattering g spot orgasms from anal sex, then you could easily do it solely for the pleasure it brings you and to hell with being submissive at that moment, it just feels good.

Personally I think walking around the house, finding the socks he's taken off and discarded all over, under furniture, behind things etc is highly submissive. Especially since these days I don't even object to it, much, I just do it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

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(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 8

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/24/2008 6:22:32 PM

OmegaG

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Personally I think walking around the house, finding the socks he's taken off and discarded all over, under furniture, behind things etc is highly submissive. Especially since these days I don't even object to it, much, I just do it.

I snorked at this as I find myself doing that too-- but it's my son's stinky socks that I'm playing hide and seek with.

I've been doing alot of thinking on this and still haven't reached a conclusion. Maybe one day I'll be doing something mundane or unusual and it will hit me.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 9

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/24/2008 6:44:48 PM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
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I had to ask Master what his view on this question is ... what is the most submissive thing I do/have done for him. While I won't share the particular acts, because they are personal, he listed three situations or things I do to serve him and I realized that the intent behind all three are the same ... to show my deep submissiveness to him and show him the proper respect and worship which my Dominant deserves. Reminding me that my submission is very much a mental exercise, removed from the actual physical acts which I perform. That probably sounds incredibly obvious to those who have been submissives for a much longer time than I, but it was a kind of 'ah-ha' moment for me tonight.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 10

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/24/2008 7:31:48 PM

faithfulfemme

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Joined: 5/24/2007
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The most submissive thing i've done? That which i had the least wish to do but did so at Hys bidding. It is then that i become the most submissive....

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Trust is neither wishing nor hoping; it is a deep sense of honor in another.

(in reply to Bound2One)

Post #: 11

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/25/2008 6:31:20 AM

SayaNereida

Posts: 152
Joined: 7/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

His answer was that the sexual acts are most definatley, in his mind, acts of Domination and submission, and the non sexual acts also defer to his Domination over me, he mused that maybe it's because I am submissive that I don't recognize it as such.

But then there are others who definately feel more submissive at certian times or during certian actions more then at other times.

For me, I don't think any thing I do makes me feel 'more submissive', after all, submissive is what and how I am, as well as how I feel. Although there are some things that make me feel 'more his', more connected to him and invested in our relationship.

Saya

_____________________________

Anais Nin: Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. ...

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 12

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/25/2008 6:33:40 AM

OmegaG

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SayaNereida

quote:

His answer was that the sexual acts are most definatley, in his mind, acts of Domination and submission, and the non sexual acts also defer to his Domination over me, he mused that maybe it's because I am submissive that I don't recognize it as such.

But then there are others who definately feel more submissive at certian times or during certian actions more then at other times.

For me, I don't think any thing I do makes me feel 'more submissive', after all, submissive is what and how I am, as well as how I feel. Although there are some things that make me feel 'more his', more connected to him and invested in our relationship.

Saya

Those are some thoughts that resonate in me, thanks.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to SayaNereida)

Post #: 13

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/25/2008 6:40:19 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

...But then there are others who definately feel more submissive at certian times or during certian actions more then at other times...

this slave doesn't "feel" submissive, she just "is" submissive.

more and less don't have any place in it.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 14

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/25/2008 7:56:49 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

I absolutely disagree that sexual acts in themselves are acts of Domnination or Submission. If that is the case, then all sexual relationships are Ds and that just isn't the case.
I don't feel more or less submissive dependant on the day, action or time - I am submissive. It's not something one can turn on and off.

I didn't answer the other post, because there isn't a specific 'act' that makes me submissive or that Darcy felt was Ds - quite frankly - anyone can do anal submissive or not(bar any medical or psycological brickwall) and stating its the 'most submissive act' tends to be along the same lines of making feel of a 'higher' plane because they do it - similar to the whole submissive vs slave debates where slaves are often viewed as oh so much higher up the evolution scale. There is not act. I don't even believe it's anything to do with the intent either. It just 'is'.

I did request of Darcy following that question and his response was accepting him as the person he is - imperfections et al, without trying to change, alter or hoping he might be anything else was one of the most submissive things I can and did do - accepting a person for who they are and don't change them for ones own selfish reasons.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 15

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/25/2008 8:05:18 AM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

Sexual acts not naturally dominant or submissive. To some, oral sex is a submissive act. When my Owner gives me oral sex, it is extremely dominating and rather sadistic at times. Sometimes, during sex, we both get very much into it. With a variety of thrusting, biting, and everything else...we're both quite intense. However, she's totally in control during the entire thing. She dictates pace, positions, and everything else. She's my Owner. She can take me exactly how she wants me and she can do it as often as she desires. That, within itself, is what makes her the dominant party. She's the one in control.

Acts are -nothing- without the people and feelings behind them. I'll put it simply... When I hold a door open for a stranger...it's
an act of politeness. When I hold a door open for my Owner...it's a simple act of submission.

DV's Fox

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 16

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/25/2008 8:07:18 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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when I asked m'Lord, I was really surprised by his answer as the things that he immidiately thought of are the things that I do with the least amount of thought.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 17

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/25/2008 8:41:00 AM

fairerthanshe

Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

when I asked m'Lord, I was really surprised by his answer as the things that he immidiately thought of are the things that I do with the least amount of thought.

Greetings Omega,

Actually, this makes perfect sense to me. The acts which you give the least thought to are the ones where you simply react, therefore it is not a reasoned choice to agree to the behavior, it is instead a direct result of his will over your own. The submission is greatest when the internal struggle is no longer present.

When I asked SJ the question about what he thought my most submissive act, he said "When you suffer for me" and there are a wide variety of things he does to induce it, but its the absolute relinquishing of fear and decision making within the process that makes it right for the two of us and our dynamic. When he wants me to suffer, he wants me to feed back the raw reaction and emotion the suffering creates, not try to fight the tears or grit my teeth and take it. It is an incredibly complex energy ebb and flow.

well wishes ~ fairer than she

_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 18

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/25/2008 2:32:01 PM

adoracat

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Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...But then there are others who definately feel more submissive at certian times or during certian actions more then at other times...

this slave doesn't "feel" submissive, she just "is" submissive.

more and less don't have any place in it.

yes. *that*.

kitten

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 19

RE: becaues your submissive - 2/26/2008 9:46:22 AM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

I don't really associate sex as submission. I think I have to mirror mrs. Merc on this one, I am submissive (to my partner) and that shows through my actions. The actions themselves don't make me feel submissive.

Certain activities will make me focus more on an existing power exchange, or on something specific, which causes me to be more self aware of those things than I might be normally.

< Message edited by ProlificNeeds -- 2/26/2008 9:47:23 AM >

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 20

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