RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice

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RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 1:18:20 AM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
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Hell, Mr. Randall.
I've been trolling discussion boards and chat sites for 15 years or more, and I would like to be able to tell you there's an easy way to meet someone. My last boyfriend and I met on MSN when they still had chat, in a Married but Flirting room...lol. We were together three years. I didn't want to privately chat with anyone, just play in the room. He was very polite, considerate, and never pressured me. He was charming and made me laugh. He wasn't looking for a mate, really neither was I, but we hit off, he made me laugh, and I moved 6 states away to be with him.

I read your profile, and it starts with "looking for a sub." Well, you're a dom, so that should be self-evident. Are you looking for a sub, or a partner? Sounds like, in the rest of your profile, you really are looking for a life partner who is submissive. Is this correct?

You're an attractive man, obviously experienced, and seem to have what many women are seeking. I'd advise changing your search from seeking a sub, to seeking a life-partner in both your profile and your thoughts. Find someone who laughs at your jokes, someone who makes you laugh. If not, then don't take it personal. Move on to the next one, and keep trying. In the meantime, meet people with the intention of enjoying WHATEVER they have to offer, and try to illicit the best from them. You might be surprised.

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RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 5:02:16 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRandallspe
I am puzzled as to what does it take from a Dom or Master to entice a possible sub/slave to want to communicate to the level where she feels contented enought to want to be under consideration by him?

Creativity & flair, doing something which sets you apart and makes you stand out from the crowd, exceptional writing skills, quiet confidence, patience, fortitude, charisma, openness, wit, style, playfulness, a dynamic personality, a good sense of humor, ability and, perhaps most important of all, recognition of the person to whom you are speaking .. seeing them for what they are, what they are capable of becoming .. and not what you want them to be.

Give or take a few of those things. ::grins::

Be the sort of Master which the slave you seek wants.

Celeste

I was going to say it more succinctly, but this is perfect. Basically, write interesting things in your journal and your posts. Stop posting how you can't find anyone, although I realize you are asking an honest question here. Go in chatrooms and get to know people. Let your personality come out and learn theirs. Smile and have fun instead of complaining.

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RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 7:31:58 AM

MrRandallspe

Posts: 110
Joined: 1/1/2008
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If I get a response and they say that they are not interested,taken or any other response,I rather enjoy it. At least they have taken the minute or two and actually replied back. The ones that bother me the most are the "deleted unread". All it takes is a moment or two to say "sorry,but not interested"
Even I reply to anyone who sends me a message. I must have been taught better,,it is a sign of respect and politeness.

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RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 7:39:42 AM

MrRandallspe

Posts: 110
Joined: 1/1/2008
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Humm,,I do thank you and the others that have given me very solid pointers as to what I need to re-do and adjust. I will take today and re think what and how I need my profile to read. I admit, I do get antsy at times when things do not progress as I feel they should. I do have patience, just not a full glass of it.

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Post #: 24

RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 7:43:22 AM

MrRandallspe

Posts: 110
Joined: 1/1/2008
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Thank you. I have been over looking that part I see.
I am going to re-think how I need to word my profile so it reads more like the real me. LOL...I have never been good at putting into word what I am really like. I do better in person. I regret that so many of the ones I am interested in are too far away to make that person to person sell.
Thank you for your comments and very good suggestions.I will use them.

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RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 8:31:30 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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Some do not respond when not interested because to so sets up the dominant in a petty, begging mode, it's unfortunate to see a dominant beg a sub for attention after she has told him "no thank you." It's easier not to respond if not interested. Also, it's not a sign of rudeness to ignore unsolicited email. Unless you are in the habit of responding to all of the junk mail you receive.

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Post #: 26

RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 9:16:15 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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If your messages are being deleted unread, it could be that they are just ending up in the bulk mail folder. Don't let that bother you. I would think you would be more bothered if it was read and then no response.

You talked about rewording your profile... okay, consider this. Some women, even if they fit your parameters, will be put off by it and not be interested. For instance, no one over a certain weight. With that criteria, some women will feel enormous pressure on the way they look. Even if they never gain an ounce, they will be concerned that their partner puts such a HUGE importance on it. They will feel that it's not who they are that is important, but how they look.

Just something to chew over.

Cali

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RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 9:20:04 AM

KatyLied

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Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

For instance, no one over a certain weight. With that criteria, some women will feel enormous pressure on the way they look. Even if they never gain an ounce, they will be concerned that their partner puts such a HUGE importance on it. They will feel that it's not who they are that is important, but how they look.

Or they may feel that someone with such parameters is way too shallow to meet their expectations for what they want in a partner.

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RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 10:24:36 AM

ForHisOwn

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Joined: 2/17/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

For instance, no one over a certain weight. With that criteria, some women will feel enormous pressure on the way they look. Even if they never gain an ounce, they will be concerned that their partner puts such a HUGE importance on it. They will feel that it's not who they are that is important, but how they look.

Or they may feel that someone with such parameters is way too shallow to meet their expectations for what they want in a partner.

This is an issue for me. I'm in my thirties; if I read a profile that gives a cut off age of 40, I figure it won't be long now! I'm also extremely petite; even five pounds looks huge on my frame. If someone can't maintain an interest in me if I gain a few, why bother?

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RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 10:35:39 AM

persephonee

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Or you could try sending a cock pic. That can sometimes elicit a reaction.

yes that will totally work....i love a good cock pic....cant wait to submit....grins

eyes lowered but rolling
persephone(e)

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RE: Deeply puzzled,seek some advice - 2/24/2008 12:51:14 PM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I didn't communicate to be under consideration. I talked to him because we had a connection and we were interested in seeing how far it went, whether play partners or just friends.

You are over investing in thinking of any possible hello as "aha, now I have someone forever". Honestly, that smacks of desperation and would drive me off big time. Just be relaxed and be a person happy in your own right who can never have enough friends, whether for a week or a lifetime, for sex or for a tennis partner.

The way you're coming off sounds creepy to me. I'm sure you don't mean it that way, but that is how it reads.

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Post #: 31