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darchChylde -> Actual Newspaper Headlines (2/23/2008 10:25:38 PM)
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http://funnies.paco.to/content/view/51/2/
Some are just slips of the tongue - Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
- Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
- Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- House passes gas tax onto senate
- Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
- Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
- William Kelly was fed secretary
- Milk drinkers are turning to powder
- Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
- Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
- Farmer bill dies in house
- Iraqi head seeks arms
Some become unintentionally suggestive - Queen Mary having bottom scraped
- Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
- Prostitutes appeal to Pope
- Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
- NJ judge to rule on nude beach
- Child's stool great for use in garden
- Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
- Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
- Organ festival ends in smashing climax
Grammar often botches other headlines - Eye drops off shelf
- Squad helps dog bite victim
- Dealers will hear car talk at noon
- Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
- Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
- Miners refuse to work after death
- Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
- Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning opposite from the one intended: - Never withhold herpes from loved one
- Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
- Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
- Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious - If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
- War dims hope for peace
- Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
- Cold wave linked to temperatures
- Child's death ruins couple's holiday
- Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
- Man is fatally slain
- Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
- Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
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