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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 1:23:50 PM   
crouchingtigress


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken



I think people have the right to hope for whatever they please.





so to take that a step further....do why do people not enforce that right, in you opinion?

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 1:29:31 PM   
domiguy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

not just for our dream bdsm life partner, and or bdsm play situation/s. but also for the dream job, dream house, dream life?

why or why not?


dream job, dream house, dream life.

Everyone is going to have a different interpretation to what is actually the "dream." Everyone is entitled ....Few reach it because they don't think that they are worthy.


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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 1:30:52 PM   
TracyTaken


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

I think people have the right to hope for whatever they please.



so to take that a step further....do why do people not enforce that right, in you opinion?


What people should enforce it (and how can it be taken away)?

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 1:44:43 PM   
Padriag


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress
very interesting...not nessasarily "a harsher veiw"...but one that echos the values of og the industrial age...one where man is self suffcient and has to work hard for everything in his life....

More pre-industrial I would say.  Whether that be colonial, middle ages, etc.  Times when the adage was, if a man does not work, he will not eat.  Or if you prefer, think of Emerson's essay on Self Reliance.

quote:

i dont judge that view point but it intriques me to ask....does that veiw always serve you?

Depends on how you look at it.  If by "serving" me you mean do I always get what I want... of course not.  There have been times in my life I had to face the reality that no matter how talented, intelligent, skilled, or successful I am... all that I could do wasn't enough.  That was never more painful than on two separate occasions when I watched someone I loved die and for all that I can do... I could not prevent their deaths.  No matter how I railed and fought against it, no matter how much I applied my intellect and talents... it was not enough.  I still rail against that at times, still seek to wrestle with Death and find a way to win... to take back what was mine, and who knows... 

But that view does serve me in that it reminds me of the reality of things... that there are limits to what I can do, and if I'm unhappy with that its up to me to expand my abilities.  It keeps responsibility for my life squarely where it should be... on my own shoulders.  It forces me to remain self reliant.  What I have in life I have by my own ingenuity, and if I lose it it will most likely be because of my own mistakes.

quote:

do you turn down gift horses because they come easliy?

I don't turn down gifts or strokes of luck at all.  But neither am I fool enough to believe them to be anything other than what they are... gifts and strokes of luck.  Anything I am given can just as easily be lost... and if I couldn't have acquired it on my own, then it still isn't really mine and my ability to hold onto it will always be in question.

I say it is a harsher view because it is uncompromising.  It doesn't pander to my ego or anyone elses.  If I can achieve something... I can... and if I can't, I can't... there's no room for illusions.  I can't blame others for my shortcomings, I can't say it was bad luck.  If I failed, it was because I lacked the ability to succeed.  If I succeeded, it was through my own ability.  Like a t-shirt I have says... I'm not lucky, I really am that good.  Sometimes I am that good... sometimes I'm not.  Either way, the end results bear out the truth... either I succeeded or I failed... and always it was I who did so. 

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 1:56:09 PM   
Don29


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Status: offline 		Hi crouchingtigress.  Well, when I think of entitlements, I think in terms of human welfare.  Governments are responsible for ensuring that their citizens do not have to live in poverty, that they have access to basic healthcare, education, public services and so on. 

I think we are entitled to the means that can help us to fulfill our individual potentials.  Whether or not that happens is another story.


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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 1:59:14 PM   
Justme696


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken



I think people have the right to hope for whatever they please.





so to take that a step further....do why do people not enforce that right, in you opinion?


there are many outside influences..which we can't shape or bend


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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 2:06:51 PM   
ChainedExistence


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Status: offline 		There's another side to this....
I HAD a dream house. By anyone's definition it was a remarkable place....acres of  property with streams, dogwood trees, deer silently walking across the meadow, beautiful handcrafted furniture and cabinetry, open, airy, but with a homey appeal..yet I felt like a prisoner within its walls. I had a great job, but I was so blue, I could hardly drag myself out of bed to go. There was money to spend, but I had no real say in any of it. You can seemingly have it all to outsiders..and be dying inside.

These days I'd rather live in my humble little house in the burbs and know that I don't cry myself to sleep at night anymore. I'd rather wake up at the crack of dawn enthusiastic about my work again, because I know what it is to be loved and appreciated. I'd rather struggle for money than live another day "having it all" and really having nothing.

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 2:30:11 PM   
PsyVamp


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

celeste you make great points, do you think it is too much to ask for all of the above, and that some how there would be a way to have the core needs of say travel, with kids, and dogs possible...is there such a thing as asking for too much? 


I don't believe that there is such a thing as asking for too much.  If one aims high, you never know what can be accomplished.  I think if I am serious in "asking" which is to me formulating a plan, then I should be able to attain the thing I am asking for.

I have reinvented my life more than once, each time I have made my situation better, so I have no doubt that I could "have it all" if I decide I want it.  To me it is all a matter of what I am willing to do to get to my dreams.

Lady Jag

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 2:31:19 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


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Status: offline 		Something that is "given" to you with no effort on your part is not going to be valued as much as something that you have worked for, unless it is something granted you in spite of hardship or suffering.

We are given gifts - talents, skills, intelligence. What we do with them is what makes the difference, and what helps us gain what we desire.

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 2:33:56 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

not just for our dream bdsm life partner, and or bdsm play situation/s. but also for the dream job, dream house, dream life?

why or why not?


Sure we can ask for all that and more.


BUT....  Don't expect It without Earning it!!!

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 2:37:52 PM   
TracyTaken


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Don29

Hi crouchingtigress.  Well, when I think of entitlements, I think in terms of human welfare.  Governments are responsible for ensuring that their citizens do not have to live in poverty, that they have access to basic healthcare, education, public services and so on. 


I think you are right and am sad that the US government is a dismal failure in ensuring basic needs, such as healthcare.

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 2:50:07 PM   
stella41b


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From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Yes of course, if you're prepared to be realistic and be willing to share your dreams with others.

Also be prepared for failure and mistakes to find success, just as loneliness and heartache appears to be the path to love.

Oh and lastly, don't quit.

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 2:50:20 PM   
Padriag


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

I think you are right and am sad that the US government is a dismal failure in ensuring basic needs, such as healthcare.

Whereas I am appalled at the failure of most US citizens to provide for their own basic needs.  Surely Emerson and Franklin must be spinning in their graves.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 3:20:19 PM   
CraZYWiLLiE


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From: HD NM
Status: offline 		Perhaps life is but a dream?

Sometimes I have to not wish too hard, usually get what I wish for.

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 6:19:33 PM   
Griswold


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

not just for our dream bdsm life partner, and or bdsm play situation/s. but also for the dream job, dream house, dream life?

why or why not?


Absolutely not.

We should all accept our lot in life, as the cog or wheel we are and move on.

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 6:22:15 PM   
TracyTaken


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quote:


Whereas I am appalled at the failure of most US citizens to provide for their own basic needs.


Most do?  On what information do you base that statement?

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 6:40:43 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		I think we have the right to desire our dreams, and to work toward the goal of acheiving those dreams. We can't expect to be handed them on a silver platter however.

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 7:04:35 PM   
Sinergy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

not just for our dream bdsm life partner, and or bdsm play situation/s. but also for the dream job, dream house, dream life?

why or why not?


My question, why wouldn't we hve the right to have any desire that we would choose?

I only see wants and desires as a problem when they intefere with our contentment and happiness. I believe it is only by defining what we want that we can begin to achieve it. I think most people (myself included) tend to limit themselves based upon what others say is impossible, instead of dreaming and thinking big. I love thinking big, but I also endeavor to not let my hopes and dreams lead to being disappointed. I do this by my inner knowing that if I do not get what I want that there is a reason... something even more fantastical is on its way... my desires do not lead to a yearning, most people do not know how to desire without aching for that which they do not have.. it is a balance

I am posting in Daddy's name... helping him become insane


< Message edited by Sinergy -- 2/24/2008 7:05:59 PM >

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/24/2008 8:54:10 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

My question, why wouldn't we hve the right to have any desire that we would choose?

I only see wants and desires as a problem when they intefere with our contentment and happiness. I believe it is only by defining what we want that we can begin to achieve it. I think most people (myself included) tend to limit themselves based upon what others say is impossible, instead of dreaming and thinking big. I love thinking big, but I also endeavor to not let my hopes and dreams lead to being disappointed. I do this by my inner knowing that if I do not get what I want that there is a reason... something even more fantastical is on its way... my desires do not lead to a yearning, most people do not know how to desire without aching for that which they do not have.. it is a balance

I am posting in Daddy's name... helping him become insane



I totally agree with this.  There is a Buddhist philosophy that says, basically, the cause of suffering is desire, and if we do not wish to suffer then we shoudl change our desires.  This post says pretty much the same thing.  It is a philosophy which has helped to keep me peaceful.

Have with with the insanity over there. 

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RE: Do we have the right to ask..... - 2/25/2008 5:46:38 AM   
thetammyjo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

not just for our dream bdsm life partner, and or bdsm play situation/s. but also for the dream job, dream house, dream life?

why or why not?


I don't think anyone has a right to "ask" for these things but I think we should each have the right to "work" toward these things as long as we are realistic in our expectations.

I had a student once who was convinced he was going to be the next great historian (whatever that is) -- problem was that he seemed unable to even do the basis levels of evidence analysis. Attempts to guide him were met with frowns, opportunities to practice turned into copies of previous work with no chances what so ever.

He had a right to work toward becoming a historian but he was simply not going to turn into one simply from wishing for it.

Now look at some of my dreams. I may have a dream of living out in the country, surrounded by trees and wildlife. Then I start to sneeze, and I can't breath very well, and my eyes water up... I have nasty allergies. All my dreams in the world are not going to change my physical limitations. I can try to figure out what I'm allergic to and limit those things in my environment but stuff travels on the winds folks. I can take medications but that only does so much and I have to wonder about side effects. Perhaps a better route to is put that dream firmly in the dream column and thinking about what I can realistically do.

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