Can a slave/submissive become a Dominant

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Can a slave/submissive become a Dominant - 2/24/2008 12:40:50 PM

playfulsam

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I would like to know is it possible to find out if maybe I have a dominant side, I have been a slave/submissive for over 20 years, but my role in my nilla life is totally dominant and I am beginning to have to live my nilla life more and more and wonder if my submissive side is getting lost.

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RE: Can a slave/submissive become a Dominant - 2/24/2008 3:04:26 PM

Parataxis

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Absolutely they can! The labels are there to clarify things, not to pen us in or tie us down (that's what dominants are for!) ;)

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RE: Can a slave/submissive become a Dominant - 2/25/2008 12:04:27 PM

LeatherBentOne

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Personally, I subbed for about 5 years in the past, although I consider myself to be Dominant. My reaasoning was to get into the mind of a submissive; thus honing in on what subs emotionally and mentally experience. Of course, I realize that subs are individuals but I just wanted a general feeling of their head space.

I'm not sorry I did that for one moment. The experience continues to serve me well. But, at no time did I have the desire to stay submisssive. Yet, I could play the role of a submissive at any time, I have never felt submissive except with one Domme from several years ago. Then again, I realize I'm not locked into stereotypes, and just do what comes natural at any given moment, depending on who Im with. I could only see myself submitting to one Domme, the Domme I've previously mentioned because of our mental and physical chemistry have always been as such, without forcing either of us to play a certain role.

I hope this helps you,
LBO

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RE: Can a slave/submissive become a Dominant - 2/25/2008 12:10:25 PM

LadyRainfire

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I started as a submissive for 7 years before switching to Dominant for the last 8 years. I've been told by both my subs and other dominants that this helps some (not all, just some) Dominants be better Dominants. I know I've never had a complaint.

But that could also be that I screen very carefully and make sure that my subs are a good fit for both of us. I have no problems turning down a sub if they are not a good fit for me or I'm not a good fit for them.

So, OP, if you think you are having dominant tendencies and want to explore them, go for it.

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RE: Can a slave/submissive become a Dominant - 2/26/2008 6:50:14 AM

MsEliza

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Well, you never know until you try. Sometimes one is unsure what they want initially...they know kink...become familiar with BDSM and fall into the role they think they suit. But perhaps that is not the right role for them. Sub to Dom, Dom to Sub etc...it happens all the time. Nothing wrong with it. Good luck!

Ms Eliza

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RE: Can a slave/submissive become a Dominant - 2/26/2008 9:54:51 AM

aidan

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A friend and I were having a conversation much like this over dinner, about heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality.

What I think is that we are all pretty complex beings, and different people can bring out different emotions and reactions. A fair number of people, if they're honest with themselves and put aside the sexual norms thrust upon them, will probably realize that their orientation relies very much on who they're with. I've known women who for years dated men to fall in love with a woman, or men who have female primary partners and male lovers, dommes who choose to submit to a man, submissives who top but don't "dom"...

The terminology and labels are guidelines at best. Don't get too wrapped up in them. If you think you might have a dominant side, explore it and experiment with it. Don't let anyone deny you that happiness.

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RE: Can a slave/submissive become a Dominant - 2/26/2008 10:18:07 AM

KindLadyGrey

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

A fair number of people, if they're honest with themselves and put aside the sexual norms thrust upon them, will probably realize that their orientation relies very much on who they're with.

Truer words were never spoken. I started my journey into this lifestyle as a sub because I just happened to hook up with an incredible dominant partner for a few years. Years later, when I hadn't found another dominant who did it for me but was meeting a lot of cute subbie boys, I tried the Domme thing and found that I loved it.

Now I get to adopt the oft misunderstood label of "switch." Which side I fall on depends entirely on the person I am with. It's just been a long time since I've felt a genuine connection with another dominant partner so I've been primarily Dominant.

Regardless of whether being the dominant partner is a fit for you, it will still be a good experience to give it a shot and see what the experience feels like. Go for it! You may find that your experience as a sub gives you an intuitive advantage into the mind of your sub; I certainly do.

< Message edited by KindLadyGrey -- 2/26/2008 10:21:00 AM >

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RE: Can a slave/submissive become a Dominant - 2/26/2008 1:20:54 PM

zoescherry

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I would agree entirley with the sentiment that we all have little bits of many things in us..the ability to either be sub or Top.

I use the term top as id never claim for a moment to be a Dominant character as i have absolutly no desire to control or own a submissive. I simply play the Top in the Dungeons when its wanted..lol i do the easy bit and play with the toys. But its a huge thrill to take someone to that special place..in a way i see it simply as anohter way of serving those i care for.

zoe x

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RE: Can a slave/submissive become a Dominant - 2/26/2008 1:48:49 PM

PanthersMom

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i started out as a submissive. i was not a very good one. now i'm much happier in the dominant role and intend to stay in this role the rest of my life. no going back for me.

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