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Don't Fart in Bed - 2/25/2008 6:41:49 AM   
parttimehotty


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 This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/25/2008 3:58:26 PM   
WhisperedSins


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0.0

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/25/2008 4:04:23 PM   
MissMagnolia


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 and

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/25/2008 5:02:53 PM   
tigerseye


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yeah...i'm with WhisperedSins on this one....o_O no, no, oh my dear goodness NOO lol


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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/25/2008 7:35:45 PM   
JulieorSarah


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oh no it's only a joke, oh please it's only a joke, .... isn't it?

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/25/2008 7:39:01 PM   
BBWnNC72


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From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
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omg, that was just ewwwwwwwwwww.

but it made me think of my grandparents. He would tell her he was going to spit and she would hide under the covers so then he would fart, LOL. People play the stupidest games.

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/26/2008 8:48:49 AM   
MissMorrigan


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That was damn funny, thank you for that! As you can tell, it appealed to my sick sense of humour.

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/27/2008 2:07:02 PM   
SlavesKeeper


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Oh that was hilarious, thanks

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/27/2008 2:15:26 PM   
topazten


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omg... thank you for the laugh, parttimehotty... I needed that today! Sometimes, it's my misfortune that I read or hear the words, and see the video in my head... would someone please help me replace the image of that man trying to put the turkey neck back in?

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/27/2008 3:10:56 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


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I just threw up in my mouth a little, but oh my god was that hysterical.  

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/28/2008 5:13:38 AM   
parttimehotty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

I just threw up in my mouth a little, but oh my god was that hysterical.  


TMI

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/28/2008 5:15:18 AM   
parttimehotty


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From: Virginville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: topazten

omg... thank you for the laugh, parttimehotty... I needed that today! Sometimes, it's my misfortune that I read or hear the words, and see the video in my head... would someone please help me replace the image of that man trying to put the turkey neck back in?


So very glad you enjoyed this story ;))))) But i happen to enjoy that image! Must be the sadist in me   i feel a kindred spirit w/MissMorigan

< Message edited by parttimehotty -- 2/28/2008 5:16:34 AM >


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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/28/2008 5:17:54 AM   
BLKMADONA


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I just spewed milk(eating cereal n milk) all over My dam monitor! Now who is gona clean this up!??!?!?!?Lmao!

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/28/2008 5:20:37 AM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLKMADONA

I just spewed milk(eating cereal n milk) all over My dam monitor! Now who is gona clean this up!??!?!?!?Lmao!


i'm here to serve  ***It is SKIM milk, isn't it????**** Only one type of heavy cream i can handle licking

< Message edited by parttimehotty -- 2/28/2008 5:21:17 AM >


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Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/28/2008 9:20:59 AM   
Saratov


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLKMADONA

I just spewed milk(eating cereal n milk) all over My dam monitor! Now who is gona clean this up!??!?!?!?Lmao!


 When are these people gonna learn?  Do NOT eat or drink while reading this stuff!

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/28/2008 9:38:53 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
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When their keys no longer depress properly, if at all, and they're t  pin   g     l  ik      e   %£$!   h i      s


quote:

ORIGINAL: Saratov
 When are these people gonna learn?  Do NOT eat or drink while reading this stuff!


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A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

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RE: Don't Fart in Bed - 2/28/2008 10:52:49 AM   
chezzy52


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Finally..a subject i know something about..LOL

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