RE: Keep your cards close

RE: Keep your cards close (Full Version)

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celticlord2112 -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/25/2008 4:36:20 PM)
[:D]No worries!

Jeffff -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/25/2008 5:01:34 PM)
Hell I can barely with hold here. Imagine if I actualy knew you. I find it is easier for me just to put it on the table. Jeff

Skully7000 -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/25/2008 5:31:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Hell I can barely with hold here. Imagine if I actualy knew you. I find it is easier for me just to put it on the table. Jeff its funny how that works for me: an "annonymous" screen I pretty much volunteer all..usually only being reserved when it comes to sharing information about others... in person I fall into a "if you want to know ask" policy where I volunteer very very little but divulge just about anything asked.

DesFIP -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/25/2008 6:21:07 PM)
He is dominant. Explaining things to me so I can keep up with him doesn't take anything away. In fact, him being secure enough to explain and answer any questions or worries I have enhances his appeal in my eyes. It just deepens trust. These days I don't need the answers, I just need to know that if I think of a potential problem, he's already considered and solved it.

angelic -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/25/2008 6:34:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I withhold only in cases of a mindfuck scene. Otherwise, why withhold from that which you are most secure? Pragmatically alone, they need to know everything so they can serve to the best of their abilities. I find the doms who are afraid to be open are using their dominance as an excuse to hide from insecurity. You said better, what i was thinking. If they need to 'hide' things from me, then they are not what i seek. End of story.

GreedyTop -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/25/2008 6:36:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: celticlord2112 quote: If by 'laying out your cards' you mean being frank and forthright, then most people will probably answer in the affirmative...well, except for CelticLord, who enjoys ephemeral and "honesty through tangent acknowledgement"-al commentary. The other option was just too obvious: You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away and know when to run. You never count your money when youre sittin at the table. Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done. GAH!!! I was trying to keep that out my head from the moment I saw the thread title. You are an EVIL MAN!

celticlord2112 -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/25/2008 6:52:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop You are an EVIL MAN! You say that as if it were a bad thing...[:D]

Leatherist -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/25/2008 6:59:54 PM)
I need to know if someone has a full deck first. [;)]

breatheasone -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/25/2008 7:01:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Skully7000 quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Hell I can barely with hold here. Imagine if I actualy knew you. I find it is easier for me just to put it on the table. Jeff its funny how that works for me: an "annonymous" screen I pretty much volunteer all..usually only being reserved when it comes to sharing information about others... in person I fall into a "if you want to know ask" policy where I volunteer very very little but divulge just about anything asked. I undersatnd what you are saying..my Master is pretty much the same way. It makes it very hard sometimes though. Because if I don't ask the right question I'm SOL as to finding things out.

GreedyTop -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/25/2008 7:04:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I need to know if someone has a full deck first. [;)] well, lets ME out....

Skully7000 -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/26/2008 5:19:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone I undersatnd what you are saying..my Master is pretty much the same way. It makes it very hard sometimes though. Because if I don't ask the right question I'm SOL as to finding things out. I do realize that I have caused some flak in previous relationships due to that. if your master works the way I do...just wait half and hour- do something else to get his mind off it...then revisit it later, usually when things are swimming around in your head so much the get clogged if you try to get them out. wait till it all smooths out and it should drain nicely;)

celticlord2112 -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/26/2008 8:28:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I need to know if someone has a full deck first. [;)] I have a full deck. Of course, I've been accused of playing poker with a pinochle deck.....[;)]

Mercnbeth -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/26/2008 10:02:44 AM)
~ Fast Reply ~ Every card I've dealt from day 1 has been face up. Requirements, expectations, consequences, and even word definitions; all laid out in words, often with visual examples included. There is nothing to hide, no shame, no worry about consequence. I expect the same from anyone I considered for a relationship, it would be hypocritical to expect to get what you aren't prepared to give. I wasn't always like this, it took a life changing incident to take on philosophy. It serves me well personally and professionally. I find it amazing that most people are disarmed by this tactic. They aren't used to full disclosure, a clear and pragmatic approach to a relationship whether business/personal, casual/formal, long term/temporary. Hell its fun to watch the reaction. Usually there is a lot of brow furrowing and wonder about if I have a 'hole card'. They end up playing and negotiating with themselves and as a result expose more than they had intended. Exposing it all - is MUCH easier. Not to 'play' but to make sure the other side is NOT 'playing'. Determining if someone was only 'playing' was always important and my goal. The process takes much less time now. Exposing all without concern about hiding anything provides much more opportunity to observe and determine the integrity of anyone you come in contact.

MadameTakhisis -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/26/2008 11:56:44 PM)
I agree with Breathasone. If you cant produce the question you do not earn the answer! The truths are given at negotiation which should happen before accepting the role. I find once you give up the script rehearsing only dulls sincere responses nullifying natural progress. If we are going to play Tiger hunter of course there will be a Tiger involved but I choose when he jumps out to bite you on the ass other wise you never learn to put the Tiger into perspective. I get to drive the Nascar you are in the back seat cleaning my high heels as you balance on your toes and butt plug. Focus on your balance and rubbing the spit into my high heels, not that it`s a fact that the track is round with no bumps and only left hand banks and you get no water till the race is over. I am the driver which was agreed to at the beginning of the race, hell before we chose the car. But if I choose to leave the race and hit the speed bumps at high speeds in the parking lot you may not grin from ear to ear as your ass absorbs the blows but you will appreciate me when I am finished!

eyesopened -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/27/2008 2:47:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth ~ Fast Reply ~ Every card I've dealt from day 1 has been face up. Requirements, expectations, consequences, and even word definitions; all laid out in words, often with visual examples included. There is nothing to hide, no shame, no worry about consequence. I expect the same from anyone I considered for a relationship, it would be hypocritical to expect to get what you aren't prepared to give. I wasn't always like this, it took a life changing incident to take on philosophy. It serves me well personally and professionally. I find it amazing that most people are disarmed by this tactic. They aren't used to full disclosure, a clear and pragmatic approach to a relationship whether business/personal, casual/formal, long term/temporary. Hell its fun to watch the reaction. Usually there is a lot of brow furrowing and wonder about if I have a 'hole card'. They end up playing and negotiating with themselves and as a result expose more than they had intended. Exposing it all - is MUCH easier. Not to 'play' but to make sure the other side is NOT 'playing'. Determining if someone was only 'playing' was always important and my goal. The process takes much less time now. Exposing all without concern about hiding anything provides much more opportunity to observe and determine the integrity of anyone you come in contact. Thank You! i see no reason to hide anything once i was ready for a permanent, committed relationship. As you mentioned, it really takes less time. If i'm not compatible with someone, i wanted to find that out quickly, not years later. my Master also put all the cards on the table. Full disclosure, nothing hidden. When i came to Him naked, it was not just my body, that was just a symbol really. Even with nothing hidden there's still plenty of adventure and discovery together, as we grow together we grow deeper.

FirmhandKY -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/27/2008 5:40:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Skully7000 alright I have an example: a dom I know has any of his long term play partners fill out an interests Sheet. this covers a vast array of interests and classifies them(similar to the CM profiles) as curious, level of experience and hardlimites ect. now he requires this of Subs he will be playing with on a regular basis. but then he will turn around and say: but I don't fill it out i'm the dom. he says it in a joking way and i'm not faulting him for it but thats how he chooses to play his cards. TreasureKY using Firm's account... I've come across this very thing before and it's the reason I added this to my profile: How can I truly trust and submit to a man that I do not know? And just how much value would you place on deference that isn't really for you but instead some fiction? At that time, my only reason for even talking to a dominant was to determine if he was compatible with me. If he was keeping his cards close to the vest, then any decision I would come to would be based on assumptions I made based on incomplete information. Any dominant wanting to play those kinds of games with me found out very quickly that I'm a spoilsport. [;)]

subtee -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/27/2008 7:15:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth Requirements, expectations, consequences, and even word definitions; all laid out in words, often with visual examples included. There is nothing to hide, no shame, no worry about consequence. Right on! It seems to me it can be pretty distressing for a sub to learn through a lack of undertanding and then potentially making mistakes or by making assumptions--which, after all, is what she may feel she has to do, not having been given "the cards"--and then being corrected. We are all of us informed by our previous relationships and experiences. This is what we bring to each other, Dom and sub. Having only that at the outset of a relationship may invite undue and unnecessary stress and conflict, no?

Dnomyar -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/27/2008 7:31:26 AM)
Hey no women allowed in this card game. Start your own game. Ths whole post is about communication. Either you do it or you don't.

Justme696 -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/27/2008 8:10:42 AM)
Depends on the person if I card with them or not

SailingBum -> RE: Keep your cards close (2/27/2008 11:37:54 AM)
Are we playing poker or not. Scoops the pot. BadOne

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