Truth in advertising (Full Version)

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bleusparkles -> Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:25:16 PM)

            OK, so I just got this email and it confused me.

This dom started off quite charming but then it was like dead stop and he asks ... "So, are you really 240 lbs or did you just put that there? I know you said you were overweight but 240 seems too heavy for your frame or is it?"

I kind of sat here for a minute not knowing what to say. Finally I asked why he wanted to know and he said he "HAD" to ask but when I pressed a little further he shut down all communication and poofed.

Now, I'll admit, my pics have been fiddled with a bit. I didn't want someone to be able to use my main CM pic to identify me elsewhere but I did want to give a clear impression of who I am and who you're talking to. When I get more comfortable with someone, I send unembellished pics and show much more of my body.

So I guess I'm wondering something ... If someone's appearance is pleasing to your eye, does it matter what he or she weighs? When someone uses pics that have been altered, however slightly ... Do you feel as if that person is advertising falsely?




bleusparkles -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:27:11 PM)

Now I'll answer my own question ...

I would think anyone who looked at my pic would know I don't REALLY look like that. I mean, no one's skin is that pale. No one's lips are that red and if my eyes really had those wicked dark circles underneath, I'd need to be in the hospital ... I flooded the pic with brightness, upped the contrast and cropped it SUPER close. I'm also hiding a bit behind one arm ... And my hair ...

I'm not trying to advertise myself ... I mostly wanted a cool pic to represent myself without it being a total lie.




Jeffff -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:28:45 PM)

bleu's a bit whimsical in the brainpan........:), That seems like truth in advertising to me...lol

Some people are just dicks. nothing you can do about it. To answer your question. no. numbers don't mean shit

Jeff





bleusparkles -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:29:49 PM)

Ha! I am a bit whimsical ... Yes. :)




Hauptmann -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:30:18 PM)

The thing is, most members have a thousand plus pics of themselves, they post up the one good photo they like. I see no difference.




RedMagic1 -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:31:55 PM)

My experience is that a pic that is "too beautiful" for the profile signals scammer.  I stopped writing to women whose stats were out of whack with their pics.  I know nothing about this guy, and maybe he's just a jerk.  But you should be aware that scammers from Nigeria and Zamboanga are very real, and they target almost exclusively men and gay women, so hetero ladies are sometimes clueless about this.

I would suggest putting the info you posted about your pic into your profile.




Jeffff -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:32:05 PM)

It is a cool pic and portrays a side of you. If some one thinks thats all you are, it is probably best you find out early

Jeff




thickerdenwater -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:32:35 PM)

weight in number should matter. muscle weighs more then fat. I dated a chick that wieghed 180 lbs and was 5'6. she was all muscle though. and some love in trunk/chest, but almost all muscle. its how the body looks for me. 




bleusparkles -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:38:47 PM)

RedMagic, I've been contacted by a few different Nigerian scammers too but I imagine guys get waaaay more. I will post the info about my pic in my profile. I guess maybe it isn't as obvious as I'd thought.

Jeff, thank you and you're right. I just had trouble seeing the logic.

You know, I do understand that point of view, thickerdenwater and had he simply requested other pics or to see a bit more of me I would have happily complied. I do have a lot of muscle because I dance a lot but there's also a lot of fat ... I guess I'm a mix. :)




hopelesslyInvo -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:49:10 PM)

i can't blame him for questioning it, you look like you're 110 lbs. to me. 

dark room effects hardly qualify as any real altering or false advertising.  i'd imagine anyone would just assume your picture is mad amounts of blown out from using too much flash if they didn't know you edited it.




bleusparkles -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:50:37 PM)

110 lbs?

Bless you ...

I'd love to weigh 110.




Level -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 6:57:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles

          So I guess I'm wondering something ... If someone's appearance is pleasing to your eye, does it matter what he or she weighs?


Not much.

quote:

When someone uses pics that have been altered, however slightly ... Do you feel as if that person is advertising falsely?


Yes.




faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 7:12:37 PM)

no ones skin is that pale??? cept mine.. and goth girls.  why do you think tattoo's look so damn good on me? cause of my skin color.  artists love tattooing me for that reason they call me casper you know.





xxblushesxx -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 7:20:04 PM)

I love that pic. I have one similar in my profile...just photoshopped my regular pic a bit. AND I have used it as my profile pic before.
Then again, I have all of my other pics up.
I *do* use my photoshopped pic when I play online poker though. I like to win. I look for any advantage I can find.

~Christina




CuriousLord -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 7:35:02 PM)

I guess people don't like misrepresentation.  Honestly, I think I may've poofed, too.  I've learned to immediately disregard a girl if she isn't honest upfront, and even bending the truth for a first impression's way too much for me, personally.

It's a neat picture you have.  As long as you're (very) upfront about it being alterred, it could be okay.  (I'd pass it off more as art than as a picture of yourself, though, if you don't want to scare guys off.)

Just to be clear, it's not about your weight (for me, anyhow).  It's about being able to trust someone, knowing you can start to build a relationship on solid ground.




Griswold -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 8:42:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles

Now I'll answer my own question ...

I would think anyone who looked at my pic would know I don't REALLY look like that. I mean, no one's skin is that pale. No one's lips are that red and if my eyes really had those wicked dark circles underneath, I'd need to be in the hospital ... I flooded the pic with brightness, upped the contrast and cropped it SUPER close. I'm also hiding a bit behind one arm ... And my hair ...

I'm not trying to advertise myself ... I mostly wanted a cool pic to represent myself without it being a total lie.



I did that a few years ago.

I put in a picture of a husky dog sled surrounded by a bunch of Alaskan seal pups....but after about 30 emails "Hey Gris, do you really look like a husky dog sled surrounded by a bunch of Alaskan seal pups?"...I took it down.




bleusparkles -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 8:51:18 PM)

LOL Griswold ...

OK ... I think I may have screwed up here but really this wasn't meant to be about ME and MY pic ...

I've gotten a lot of emails from people and erm ... Wow. Hehe ... Now I know how to get attention at least.

Anyway ... It was more about other people ... Pics in general ... I had to have *A* pic up ... I have also had the horrific experience of being followed literally home to my apartment by an over-eager human being who saw my unaltered pics online and did a little investigation. I frankly don't care if he poofed because he thought *I* was being shady ... I just wonder what other people think in general. :)

People who feel safe putting lots of pics of themselves up ... Well, I kinda envy them. I'm something of an exhibitionist. I love being looked at. I would love to have one of those profiles that has like 25 pics of me in all kinds of situations and places. And maybe someday when I don't live alone and walk or ride a bike everywhere, I will.  It scared the crap out of me to get followed home though ... Especially when he wouldn't just leave after I shut the door in his face. I sat in my apartment for days after, afraid to even go down and check my mail because I wondered if he'd be out there ... Waiting.

The thing is though, I'm also an artist and when it comes to first impressions I'm more concerned with conveying the essence of who I am and less with the exact aspects of what I look like. My look changes literally from one day to the next. People who do see all my pics often comment that I look like several different people. As a teen, even my mother would comment that she never knew who would come out of my bedroom every morning ... I would hope that someone would look at my pics and go ... Now there is a creative young woman. She looks interesting ...

I don't ever want to be the girl who just looks "hawt" ...

So ... What do you want to be?

had to fix typos




bleusparkles -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 8:55:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

no ones skin is that pale??? cept mine.. and goth girls.  why do you think tattoo's look so damn good on me? cause of my skin color.  artists love tattooing me for that reason they call me casper you know.




You are pale, faery but not pasty white.




DiurnalVampire -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 8:59:29 PM)

If someone plans on bringing a scale t your first meeting, then you can worry. If I told someone I was 5'4 and weighed 190, as I do, most of the time the first thing they think is she must be huge.  But, as was said, muscle weighs a LOT more than fat, and I am fairly solid. At 175 I have a bikini body, so I dont really worry about the numbers.  I left my weight blank becasue too many people think too much of the number and too little of the person.

DV




bamabbwsub -> RE: Truth in advertising (2/25/2008 8:59:49 PM)

bleu, I think your picture is beautiful. It is artfully and coyly done, and it IS you.

I don't think that your picture misrepresents you any more than a "glamour shot" does, and in fact, probably less than a "glamour shot" does. Had you Photoshopped your face onto a thin body that wasn't yours -- THAT would be deception. However, just because you show your face, which is slender, but you have a larger body, doesn't mean that you're trying to deceive anyone. To prove that, you've posted your weight on your profile in order not to mislead someone into thinking that you are a waif.

Personally, I think the guy was attracted to your face but isn't interested in a larger woman, no matter how beautiful she might be. For some men, weight is a huge (pardon the pun!) issue, superseding any other desirable traits that a woman may have. In my not-so-humble opinion, you didn't miss out on anything with that guy.

Best of luck to you!





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