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Paulsgirl -> RE: When it rains, it pours... (2/26/2008 4:01:48 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: breatheasone
I have had enough! *sigh* Its been a wild ride this past month-ish. Lots going on with my own family...lots going on with Masters children and His work. I have managed to keep a somewhat level head LOL. I have noticed though that my 1st instinct is to tighten up...keep it "close to the vest" and I know that flies in the face of the openness and oneness that Master and I have and continue to develop. Well God really must love me, because Master had an unscheduled business trip today in fact that I am able to accompany Him on. It will be an opportunity to spend 4 days together. I didn't realize how MUCH I needed this until I heard His voice on the phone asking if I was ready to get picked up (I managed to stave off the crying till i hung up the phone lol) So....I am off to serve my Master 24/7 once again for a bit. And hopefully recharge my batteries a little.
i love the way you express your devotion. i love the way you are willing also to share the small moments of a day which become crystalized moments for you around that moment when you hear your Master's voice.
As an enslaved one i feel completely free. i also feel lifted of the burden that i assume sometimes my Master feels. The burden of responsibility for maintaining his control (sometimes control of self but also always, even if we are apart, always control of me.
And i worry too that my emotions might be too much of a burden for Him as it, i, us, the lifestyle etc., often feels like a roller coaster ride.....and yet it often feels like safe landings, you know when that roller coaster ride is over.
But anyway i worry for Him and want to take those worries away......and it would be very good to spend more time together but life.....children, work load, paperwork, shopping yaddah yaddah....all have to be carried out. My Master has told me that he needs and wants a slave whose life is run efficiently and so that's one of my most upliting motivations: to be efficient and give everyday my best attention and input.
So i connected with what you said about holding back the tears and crying AFTER the phone call as i understand, i feel, why you would do that.....perhaps i am right in thinking that you did not want to add to His burden?
Thank you for sharing those everyday, intimate moments....it has made me think about that additional-extra-unexpressable quality that a Master brings into our lives.
Have a wonderful few days....it is NOT in my own opinion, the extent of time that matters it is its intensity..
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