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LadyHugs -> RE: Requests You Find Disgusting (3/4/2008 10:18:43 AM)
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Dear pixelslave, Ladies and Gentlemen;
I find in situation #1 (To set up a situation where the Dominant will fail, thus giving fuel to their disrespect of Dominants in general); this can be applied to any relationship. How many times do we see people whine and protest about someone else and these people created a situation where nobody would have a chance but, to fail. Example, people complain they haven't met anybody. Well, you have to get out to meet people, not just sit at the computer and complain. Sometimes proactive behavior is required. Some people want to make a point and use Dominants to make it. Example, control, obedience and service--How many times have we heard someone want to be slave, sub, etc; however they give a menu so strict and boundaries so narrow--no chance can a dominant person really flow creatively or feel free to be a dominant. I find those over demanding submissives more bottom than submissive and a good fair share of bottoms are 'do me' sorts. This in general sets up a 'relationship' to fail. One sided you see. Unfortunately, some get great giggles and grins from frustrating and causing a Dominant to 'quit.' It is their sarcastic and or snide attitude, better than though manifestation in the role of submissive/slave/servant--to which they must out shine the dominant. It is about 'them' and not about the 'us.'
This is how #1 bleeds into #2 -- To create the controlling situation of their own making and having a Dominant yield creating a false sense of authority on the part of a Dominant and the plotter still retains control via manipulation. Sometimes people don't realize what they are doing and or see it as manipulation. Interaction with others provokes 'habits.' It takes serious reflection on all individuals, before blaming one another for one's ills/treatment/situation--to see how much of the real problem starts with us (in a general sense.) How many times has someone really desired something however, internal excuses creep in, such as doubt, self esteem issues, doubt in others and or their skills (to which I am not hooking with being cautious and doing the needed research with the other, as to be comfortable and confident in their skills). It is easy to find the 'loop hole' as to become an 'escape hatch' and because there is an escape hatch--the Dominant is then reflected as poor one--because there was an ability to escape and the desire internally was to be forced and or prevented from escaping. Mind and emotions are facinating -- sometimes in harmony and sometimes in total war with each other. The collateral affect though is the circumstances/situation between two people--which may end up temporary period of failure and or frustration and progress further, using a different method in gaining success or--total failure and two people end up upset at one another. The 'mis-match' of skills and experience more than anything else.
Number 3--A test on the part of the submissive/bottom of the Dominant's will and remaining in the position as Dominant. In other words-how far will you go before broken into a Service Top. I think this happens a lot to individuals who are seeking a solid Dominant, without hint and or desire to Switch. And, how skilled is someone to lay down the line/boundry and enforce that role with others. I do believe polite and compassionate Dominants invite such tests. I know I have and aware that it is natural for men to see if you wear iron clad under garments. Can one stand by their decisions/convictions, do they walk the walk, talk the talk and in addition --remain as lady like as they wish and still invoke the sense of power and authority. Those who are people pleasers, also invite such behaviors. Mistake is thinking that pleasers, servant Masters and or healers in their appearance as 'compassionate' and 'unassuming' do not have a spine. I also feel SWITCHES also invites this as well, especially if they are known to Switch and are darn good submissives/bottoms. I think female Switches have to do more in the area of work, mentally, emotionally and focus--as to remain in role as a Dominant/Top and thwart a male bottom/submissive/fellow Switch from steam rolling over them beginning, during and after a scene and through the period of after care.
Ah, Number 4 has got you interested pixelslave --[Chuckles] That they are more disgusting than what they have others do to them. Well, as most know--people in public are on their best behavior and people are on their best behavior during the dating, courting and honeymoon phases. Only when you really get to know someone, do you learn there can be an underlying behavior to which can go over the top as far as disgusting. For example, the previous threads about how some subs wanted genital removal, scat play...there might be more that is sprung on someone when the other person feels that their partner is ok with what is considered 'way out' such as genital removal and or scat. Toss violations come to mind--things that might blow the mental fuse on anybody's mind. [Smiles] There can be personal habits--such as personal hygene, or lack there of. There are a few cases I've come across-male and female where the body odor was so foul, I had to find air and just packed up my gear and left. One chap who wanted a scene with me had not wiped his bottom and associated areas. I refuse to have body waste on my gear. The extremes to some people's kink is way beyond the senses of good habits and or behaviors. If I am aware that someone is a 'pig slave/submissive/bottom' I am prepared--its those who like to shock Dominants by the disgusting--perhaps, reverse humiliation. It mirrors the shock contests--trying to out do another by doing things that are in society's mind and or 'the scene's' mind as normal for the sake of 'shock' and 'disgusting others.' It is like a person who does indecent exposures on kids but, in this case its on others within the scene who are adults.
To me--it all goes back to the spirit of intentions. If it is with honest intent to explore something with another person--fine but, to use the other person as a prop, a means to get one's jollies off --that is not personally ok with me.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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