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RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 2/27/2008 7:42:48 PM

sublibrarian

Posts: 96
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Keep in mind that all your posts are just a simple click away on your profile ("View forum posts") I found this out when my Dom pointed it out to me. Luckily, I always had the mindset that he could stumble upon anything I wrote so I didn't write anything terrible (there was one thing he wasn't crazy about, but I had thought that no one could link it to him directly so I didn't think of it as potentially embarassing him). I'm glad he mentioned that he reads my posts, however, so I don't ever get lax and use this as a place to vent when I should be talking to him. (Granted, I've vented about my vanilla boyfriend on here because he's never going to read it and you can't identify him by what I've said. Sometimes you need a fresh point of view on things.)

(in reply to sblady)

Post #: 41

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 2/27/2008 8:03:30 PM

angelslave77

Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

I dont post anything I wouldnt tell my Sir, if I have a super personal issue or something that could be mis understood if it was read, I ask a friend in a one on one situation. It is fantastic to have a sounding board and if it is something you know you can talk to your SO about then sound away on here, if it isnt then best to keep it off the boards.

Also is always wise to keep in mind what your SO is comfortable with people knowing, eg I am a very out there girl, most people who know me know I am into "that kinky stuff" whereas Sirs friends have no idea, so even on here I tend to keep a lot of things as low key as I can when normally I wouldnt mind sharing. It was like a journal I wrote about our time together, it was written as a story and actally I recieved comments about what a good story it was, but once it was out there Sir knowing it was more than a story decided he wasnt comfortable with it being shared, so I removed it.

(in reply to sublibrarian)

Post #: 42

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 2/29/2008 5:14:00 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I had both My sub and My husband create profiles here specifically for the intent of reading some of the things that I post. It just became easier than writing a post, and then, especially in the case of My husband, being interested in what he could see out of the corner of his eye, going back and letting him read the whole thread. I don't write anything disgraceful about either of them, and they both know it.

I do tend to post things that have happened to us in the real world. If I see a thread on the boards that was something we had to go through, or have first hand experience in, I'll usually make a comment on it. I think a lot of people want to hear how other people handle things. Otherwise, there wouldn't exactly be a lot of questions around here, would there?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to angelslave77)

Post #: 43

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 2/29/2008 5:41:48 AM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

dude, just because they don't come here, doesn't mean its private---I just played the let google be your friend game and you're all over 4 pages----better hope they don't get your screen name.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 44

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 2/29/2008 12:01:34 PM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

I've never dated anyont without telling them I post on line because I suppose for me complete disclosure feels right about everything so they can dominate me properly. Sometimes they have chosen to read all my posts elsewhere. I therefore have never posted anything very personal about what a particular man has done to me or if I were seeing someone and I don't have a blog. Also some of us are in jobs or have families where there could be problems if we could be identified even by a photograph so that's another constraint and under Enlgish law even if you post something anonymous if someone could work out who it was your disclosure of that information about the other person would breach her/his rights.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 45

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 2/29/2008 12:06:33 PM

BBWnNC72

Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
Status: offline

i don't think my Dom reads my postings on here, but it wouldn't matter to me if He did. i don't post anything too personal or anything i wouldn't want Him to know, which isn't much, we are very open with each other. Besides, most of my postings are in the humor forums.
But He does have the links to any place online that i post a blog or journal.

_____________________________

huggs and purrs
Brian's kat
a.k.a. "greedy monkey"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
i am who i am, i am not ashamed. spank me, beat me, bite me, pull my hair, dominate me, control me, but always respect me for who i am.

(in reply to ClassAct2006)

Post #: 46

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 2/29/2008 8:13:03 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lauren0221

I tend to be careful of other people's privacy. Is not my place to spill someone else's secrets if there is even the slightest chance someone could figure out whom I was referring to. My secrets, my choice. Someone else's secrets - for me, not appropriate to put out on a public message board.

I am also creative - if I have a burning question about something, I will find a way to ask it without encroaching on someone else's privacy.

Same here. Additionally in my opinion, if the first time someone is apologizing or expressing frustration/need/desire or any other relationship problem is here, I really personally see that as poor communication. If you can't talk to the person you are intimate with before the worldwideweb, well.....for me, I would really ponder that relationship.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to lauren0221)

Post #: 47

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 2/29/2008 8:28:56 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

you k now what maybe it is good thing they do not read this stuff it is like debating the world might be flat or something or in room full of people at a train station everyone is really to busy to care

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 48

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/1/2008 12:50:02 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

i post here. Daddy doesnt. he knows i do, and i know he could check up on what i have said whenever he wishes to.

i like the boards because i learn things...and it gets discussions going between us, also. i'll tell him about a thread, and what i feel about it, and he tells me what he thinks.

that's good for him and for me.

kitten

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 49

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/1/2008 2:21:56 AM

chezzy52

Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

A friend asked me to come here and post.Before that which was roughly two weeks ago,i never gave reading or posting in here a second thought.I am grateful to that friend for the encouragement..i have had fun with some threads and was quite serious about others.

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 50

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/1/2008 2:28:02 AM

Paulsgirl

Posts: 249
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

For some unaccountable reason, none of my partners or even playmates have ever posted ~ or as far as I can tell ~ even read these boards or the boards in any other communities I post to. (Is this some additional fetish of mine? Do I go into sub-scription space when I post and read?).

As a result, I sometimes inadvertently or carelessly post some pretty personal things about me/them/us here. Things they don’t know about me, might not want known about them or might feel uncomfortable about having posted if anyone who reads these knows them. (Of course, I don’t reveal their identity, but someone here might know me and figure it out). Even the things that are relevant to our relationship and I do talk to them about, I’ll approach very differently in person ("Mistress, I was just wondering if You've ever..." vs. "How the heck can I get my #%$@% Mistress to harder/ softer/ longer/ deeper/ thicker/ 24/7/ once a month/ public/ knife/ piss/ leather /dildo /marks /puppy/etc?")

I’m not property or a slave so I don’t see any "doctrinal" problem with this. And yet I sometimes feel....guilty or uncomfortable with them not knowing. If I tell them I do, or ask them if they mind if I post an observation or question, they would probably wind up reading all 197 of my posts going back to other people and times, and perhaps things I wouldn’t want them to know, or at least learn in this way or context.

Yet, these boards have become a source of advice, information and support for me. I don’t want to lose the ability to speak candidly, graphically or even raunchily.

Does anyone else feel this way? Have any qualms about or solutions to the problem?

michael

i often post here of an intimate and personal nature, also seriously, academically, and hunourously just as the mood takes me.
i also posted details of how i met and reacted to my Master.
He does not post here or on any other boards so there is no problem that He will read me BUT He has asked that i do not do anything to hurt Him or use those things He shares with me against me.
Since i have been collared i am learning not to go outside of U/us to solve what is between U/us.
however i do still geel it helps others and supports me more to make my posts personal rather than some sort of search reference list to previous posts.

< Message edited by Paulsgirl -- 3/1/2008 2:29:07 AM >

_____________________________

Formerly Prinsexx

~There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.~
Anais Nin

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 51

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/1/2008 2:30:36 AM

Paulsgirl

Posts: 249
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

you k now what maybe it is good thing they do not read this stuff it is like debating the world might be flat or something or in room full of people at a train station everyone is really to busy to care

far out Baby far out....have missed you

_____________________________

Formerly Prinsexx

~There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.~
Anais Nin

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 52

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/1/2008 7:24:57 AM

fairerthanshe

Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline

~FR~
Greetings all,

SJ does not read my posts, however, I do discuss with him anything I have posted. A lot of times, I will read a question and go back and discuss it with him - so I guess for us the boards are fuel for discussion and open communication.

well wishes ~ fairer than she

_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to Paulsgirl)

Post #: 53

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/1/2008 8:29:34 AM

HerLord

Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline

If I were in your shoes, I would simply sit down with them and discuss it over dinner. I would tell them that I use this site as a sounding board for my thoughts and ideas, and that sometimes I share my experiences in our relationship to help me gain perspective. There is a sort of intimate anonymity to a discussion board which makes it easier to open up to like-minded individuals.

My Love and I are both on the boards, and we always read one another's post. Neither of us would disrespect the other here. That's part of the trust.

_____________________________

"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

(in reply to fairerthanshe)

Post #: 54

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/1/2008 12:49:39 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

I've posted various things about my previous partners on here. Most of what I have posted has been positive and when I have posted something negative, it had to do with a problem within the relationship and not specifically with the person. I don't like doing that. Each person I have been involved with has taught me something, even if it was something I could have done without learning about.

If I was to become involved with someone from here, I would tend to do the same thing...keep any question or statement about D/s related to what was being discussed on a general or specific question-oriented level rather than go into detail about my partner

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 55

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/1/2008 12:58:58 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Almost all of the submissive's I have ever been interested in here at CM, are just not
"message board" people.
Out of all the people that have profiles on here, what percentage reads or
participates in the forums?
My guess is about 25% at best.

I know of many people that read but will never post.
I was here almost 3 years, before I ever posted.

Most of the submissives I am interested in will read, what I write, and that's about it.
They are either to busy, or prefer to do other things online.
No harm, no foul, I kind of enjoy it this way.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 3/1/2008 1:05:19 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 56

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/2/2008 5:45:59 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

well that's exactly why i dont get into a ton of personal detail, my thoughts are personal and nothing in which i would want the whole world to know, or possibly have M.S. get irritated with me over...it's better to keep my thoughts to myself in that sense....even though i've come on here a few times to ask an opinion or two....

~meticulous~

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 57

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/2/2008 5:55:35 PM

shysub0951

Posts: 132
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline

In a way, i'm actually sort of glad that my Dom doesn't always go on the boards. Actually i have never heard from him personally that he does read my posts, nor does he ever post. Oh well, just as good and keeps me out of trouble

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 58

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/2/2008 6:10:39 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

umm...i'm single

...but i would think if i were involved, i'd let my Dom know i posted here and get feedback...i suppose some might have a problem seperating some of my more humorous posts from my real persona.(particularly when i am serving). i wonder if my constant references to myself as some sort of slut or hoe would rub a Dom the wrong way...but then again..."You knew i was a slut when You met me" is how Cali put it, right?

(in reply to shysub0951)

Post #: 59

RE: If your D/M/s doesn't post or read - 3/2/2008 6:21:20 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

I tend to tell doms that I get involved with that I post and read the forums on this site and provide them with a link at the start of the relationship, that way they can decide for themselves if they want to read I have written or follow what I am writing, if I do discuss my relationship with them here I do not use names that could identify them

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 60

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