mental trip only

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

mental trip only

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> mental trip only

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

mental trip only - 9/20/2005 3:34:19 AM

FirmFare

Posts: 48
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

I'm wondering if anyone has experienced the fulfillment of D/s on a mental level only. No physical pain but dominant role fully played out and fulfilled, submissive fully satisfied by the experience? As a Dom, I am not sadist but expect respect and obedience not found in vanilla world of today. I'm still new enough to the scene that I wondering what the other extreme is. Everyone is sooo willing to display/brag how far they can go and how much they can take, but how vanilla does bdsm go? I'm beginning to think I'm not in the right place.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: mental trip only - 9/20/2005 4:28:06 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmFare

I'm wondering if anyone has experienced the fulfillment of D/s on a mental level only. No physical pain but dominant role fully played out and fulfilled, submissive fully satisfied by the experience? As a Dom, I am not sadist but expect respect and obedience not found in vanilla world of today. I'm still new enough to the scene that I wondering what the other extreme is. Everyone is sooo willing to display/brag how far they can go and how much they can take, but how vanilla does bdsm go? I'm beginning to think I'm not in the right place.

I'm not sure what you mean, but pain is not equivalent to BDSM. For example, Just before Libby came into my life, I had a young lady come all the way from the Midwest to my Manhattan apartment to experience her first scene. She had told me of fantasies right out of the Marquise's writings and wanted to experience them all NOW.

Unfortunately, she turned out to be a veritable well of adrenaline. Even toning things way down didn't prevent a panic attack at the first stroke or pinch. So, I shifted gears. I tied her blindfolded and spread eagled on the bed and then, resting next to her, slowly ran my hands over her naked body and whispered into her ear all the bloody and horrible things I "was going" to do to her. Without the presence of actual physical pain, she was able to get off wonderfully on the fantasy and the weekend was a success.

Much of what we do is in the mind.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to FirmFare)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: mental trip only - 9/20/2005 4:54:31 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I know of at least three couples who have been together long term (one of them over 10 years now) who have a strictly D/s relationship. If you ask them they will tell you that their sex lives are very vanilla and that they do not actively "scene". None of them are into any form of S/M type play or even bondage. Their relationships however, are an absolute power exchange. So yes, it can and is done, although it is a bit more uncommon.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to FirmFare)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: mental trip only - 9/20/2005 7:54:08 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

BDSM and D/s are not the same thing. They can be combined into one relationship and be the major points defining the relationship. But, one does not neccessarily include the other.

I know a D/s couple that engages solely in D/s. The relationship is based on service. They've been married for 30 years now and they are a joy to be around.

I have a friend that is solely into BDSM. She is a masochist bottom. She is not submissive, does not want to be a submissive and has no need for a Dominant unless he's a sadist. She's absolutely one of my favorite people.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mistoferin)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: mental trip only - 9/20/2005 1:49:29 PM

FirmFare

Posts: 48
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

Ok, good. I appreciate the input. I have been surfing the site for a little while and hadn't noticed any discussion in chat or on forums to this end and so began to be concerned if my pursuit might not be found here.

I have seen another site where this idea is more common but somehow seemed plastic Christian semi-excuse for lifestyle legitmacy. I hold Christian values dear and so insist on no pre-marital experiences. In that same vein, the church has allowed culture to dictate co-equal relationships. I am seeking a D/s relationship but within biblical direction. I suppose I could go to another culture to find this type of person but prefer a home grown lovely lady with immutable respect for her man. Hard to find when media, educational system, and religious systems are all aiming at the equality. Don't get me wrong, I am for equal pay for equal work, equal opportunities, equal value and votes and all that. I just don't think, in my home, that 2 heads can work for management. I need and respect the insight a woman can give but the end decision comes to one person for the good of the household/family, me. Just so, the entire relationship is designed for mutual benefit with one head and one helpmate, both submitted to the direction and loving guidance of our Great Designer.

Its a sad commentary on the present condition of the church that we have difficulty finding that kind of person/ideal within its ranks considering the instruction of the Bible. But that is where I'm at.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 5