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Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 8:58:46 AM   
Sartoris32801


Posts: 172
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline 		Discipline / Punishment

How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship?

Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency?

Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given.

Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal?

Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 9:13:03 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801

Discipline / Punishment

How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship?

I'm expected to be disciplined and well-behaved within the guidelines of the Owner at all times. Punishment is adminstered for willful/repeated mistakes.
quote:


Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency?

Not consistently, but otherwise yes.
quote:


Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given.

I don't have the "right" but I am usually allowed to question them if I feel the need. I'm still obligated to obey.
quote:


Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal?

Ah this one. We don't have safe words at any time so no.

If you use a safe word to mean "that's too much" then I can see why you would remove a safe word during punishment. If you use a safe word to mean "somethings wrong" then I see no reason why it wouldn't be just as valid during punishment as it would any other time.

quote:


Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences?


Why would boundaries differ? I know Ds relationships that get into a lot more punishment dynamic than Ms ones do.

I think most people don't use punishment effectively, don't know how to use discipline effectively and don't communicate until things are a huge mess. Punishment is best when delivered immediately and directly to the CAUSE of the problem. Putting someone in a corner for being late doesn't teach them how to manage their time better.

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
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RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 9:29:40 AM   
Sartoris32801


Posts: 172
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline 		__________________________________________________________________________
EmeraldSlave2

I think most people don't use punishment effectively, don't know how to use discipline effectively and don't communicate until things are a huge mess. Punishment is best when delivered immediately and directly to the CAUSE of the problem. Putting someone in a corner for being late doesn't teach them how to manage their time better.
__________________________________________________________________________

EmeraldSlave2,

I couldn't agree more! More often that not punishment is in fact a reward. One persons punishment is anothers reward, and it's necessary to learn the distinction between what will modify a behavior and what will reinforce it.
My thoughts using your example would be to cancel the venue, activity, that was planned, but only if it were an event that she was looking forward to. If she were late deliberatly to avoid the event, activitity I would lean toward immediate coporal.

Sartoris


Sartoris

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 9:33:54 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801

Discipline / Punishment

How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship?

Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency?

Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given.

Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal?

Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences?



I don't use "punishment." If a submissive does something that displeases me then I tell her and explain that I don't want it to happen again. Should she repeat the behavior, I will re-evaluate the relationship.

First, the kind of people I associate with are not the kind to react well to punishment. For example, I was able to maintain discipline in a special op platoon with just glances and a few well chosen words. Those men were motivated by pride and respect. I expect the same from the submissives with whom I associate.

Second, I don't really believe punishment works in a long term situation.

This doesn't mean I don't do pain play, but I won't be manipulated into it by misbehavior. If my partner wants pain play, I'm fully able to participate to a level that most people wouldn't even consider. [Note, for example, that I've modified a field-telephone generator to connect to TENS accessories including dildoes and butt plugs.]

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
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RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 9:35:28 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801

Discipline / Punishment

How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship?

Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency?

Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given.

Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal?

Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences?


------------------


whoa sure a lotta questions.....but y'okay i can deal with it i think..
how are punishment and discipline used? as corrective measures!
reserved? naw not just for willful since i do NOT willingly do something wrong it isn't as if i am a brat i am just one trying damned hard to please and at times end up with two left feet and get myself in trouble w/o knowing i did it.

consistent? naw not enough time in one day for everything

can i question? yeah but i am always told why before it starts...

safe words? no not usually........but She knows when i cannot handle much more.

wolfie



< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 10/12/2005 9:54:56 PM >

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 9:50:07 AM   
ChereeAmoor


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		Both are used, although punishment is rare. It is consistent and used for willful violations - safe words are always around and likewise seldom in use.

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
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RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 9:59:01 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Discipline / Punishment

How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship?

Hello There,
Dicipline and punishments are very different things in my relationship with my Master.
Dicipline to me is something I know I'm supposed to do that I really would rather not. Doing things that my Master wants me to do regardless of feeling like it give me Dicipline.
For example I do all the cooking and cleaning of our home.
I know doing this pleases my Master. There are days I just plain don't want to, but do anyway for him. It takes Dicipline to adhear to the rules and guidlines my Master's laid out for us to live in a harmonious home.
I also watch my weight, make sure I shave, make sure I stretch and other things that I do on a daily basis to please him and stay healthy.

Punishment is SEVERE and only if I have done something I knew was wrong in advance. For instance one time in open play I forgot to add Sir after yes. He pinched the crap out of my nipple and it blead. That was a punishment. Punishments to me are never wanted and never fun. On top of the fact they are physically painful they are also emotionally devistating to me as dissapointing my Master cuts my heart to the quick and leaves me in tears as I feel I failed Him.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 10:06:30 AM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline
quote:


Discipline / Punishment
How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship?
Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency?


Punishment is administered for breaking any rules (rules that both of us have agreed on). If they break the rules willfully, it is much worse. Punishment is always dealt immediately, it is not mentally fair to wait on a punishment since the farther from the bad act it is given, the more is "feels" capricious.

quote:


Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given.
Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal?


She has the right to question anything she likes, including punishment, play, or what movie we're going to watch (the movie one she uses all too often! ). She does NOT have the right to try to negotiate a lesser punishment or try to get out of it. Once I have decided she needs punishment, I will explain to her why at whatever length is necessary, but she WILL receive the punishment.

At any time she can call a safeword and I will immediately stop everything, even punishment. Either she must leave or I will leave when she uses that option. The safeword is a get out of jail free card she can play at any time and she knows I will respect it. Only her pride and trust in me keeps her from ever using it.

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
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RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 11:49:01 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64

Punishment is SEVERE and only if I have done something I knew was wrong in advance. For instance one time in open play I forgot to add Sir after yes. He pinched the crap out of my nipple and it blead.


I would hate to think what might've been done if you actually did something that was horrible unsafe to yourself or others, and would seriously warrant a punishment. Not saying "sir," to me, is something that is done, out of the heat of passion, and being lost in thought, or an inadvertent omission, hardly deliberate in most cases, and I surely don't see it worth causing someone to bleed. My sympathies, if you are ever really in trouble.

I never understood the severe punishments administered for minor offenses. It takes away from the goal of helping to correct someone, and while causing pain or loss is the goal of a punishment, the torture for a minor omission just seems very extreme to me.

K (my own take/observation, not trying to judge, but probably am )

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 11:58:50 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801

I couldn't agree more! More often that not punishment is in fact a reward.


No, it's not. If it's an activity that the 'victim' views as a reward, then by definition it isn't punishment.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 12:18:58 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		We use coporal punishment but we dont use safewords, becouse we dont use them period, we talk whit one another if somthing is wrong. my Dom can corect smal mistakes whit a stern word or a smak on the ass, and i find a stern word more dificult to handle, punishment is for serious things.

Will punishment wary between S/M and D/s, yes i belive so, in a pure sadisem and maroshisem relationship, painplay is the most inportant, not corecting behavior. Thous theese relationships can be mixed and often are.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 12:25:58 PM   
comesoncommand


Posts: 78
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Like everything in the lifestyle, E/everyone has many many definitions for common terms. In my relationship with my Master, discipline is simply a reminder of my place. W/we have TPE 24/7, but there are daily distractions such as work, errands, picking up kids, etc. that can cause this girl to stray from the perfect sub place. It isn't a result of being in trouble, just a friendly reminder *smile*. Punishment, however, is for a specific infraction. Like plantlady, i hate having displeased my Master and the emotional aspect makes the physical feel that much worst.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 9/20/2005 2:20:28 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Well that is aboute how i see it as well.

(in reply to comesoncommand)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 11/7/2006 4:39:49 PM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline 		i am allowed to safeword during corporal punishment, but i never have, i feel that i have to take it as it is my own fault that i need to be punished and Master knows my  limits.

(in reply to nella)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 11/7/2006 7:12:01 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		Master has punished me for not so innocent mistakes, like staying up past curfew because i got caught up in a game on the internet or a movie on tv if i don't have permission to stay up.

He disciplines me by telling me that i know better and if He feels the need to He will correct it with essays, earlier curfews, no computer, no phone, being grounded to the apartment unless i have a doctor's appointment, need food or there is an emergency where i have to leave.

safewords? ummmmmmmmmm no no no ...... i am not allowed safewords at all, although if during punishment (which yes i follow even though we are not yet 24/7) i am not able to continue with the punishment due to my blood sugar dipping too low or soaring too high i am allowed to say that i need to stop to test my blood sugar, or if my asthma acts up He can tell by how i am breathing and talking to Him on the phone or the computer.

Also if i get a huge twinge of pain in my chest from these stupid gall stones, i am allowed to say "Stones," and He will stop punishment immediately.

i have a punishment that when my gall bladder has come out and i'm healed i have to deal with for talking back and staying up past curfew and it is one i don't intend to back down on because i screwed up.

whenever He punishes me, not only do i know i deserve it, but i follow through on it with no safewords or anything that would get me in trouble unless as i stated above i need to tell Him that i need to stop.

i probably didn't answer the OP's questions but i did this blindly so to speak as i read the questions and then scrolled down to the bottom ....... hehe i forgot to quote the questions ....

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to medievalwench)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 11/7/2006 7:45:09 PM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801

Discipline / Punishment

How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship?

Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency?

Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given.

Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal?

Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences?


Discipline is used to correct an attitude or behavior.

Punishment is used for willful and knowing violations. And yes, they are administered extremely quickly.

If Master feels that I need disciplinary action, he tells me why, and then administers it. I do not have the right to tell him he can not do so.

Punishment, since I try to avoid it at ALL costs; is done with ME knowing the consequenses. I do not need or deserve an explanation as to why.

I don't use safewords in any of our activities.
Punishment is punishment, if master feels the need to administer it, he will do so until HE feels that it is sufficient.

Yes, ours is that of Owner/property

These are only in regards to my relationship with Master; they do not reflect the opinions of others.


_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 11/8/2006 6:02:25 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801

Discipline / Punishment

How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship?

Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency?

Yes, though I suppose we have a penalty system really. You do this, I do that, type of thing. Any *rules* are for my benefit, not his, so if I mess about I'm the one that loses out, anyway.

Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given.

I'm free to question whatever I like but I'll still have to obey. I rarely ever have though, because I know what's expected and if I've fallen short of it I know that too. I might moan and groan a bit, though.

Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal?

No. We don't have a safeword system at all.

Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences?



agirl

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 11/8/2006 7:10:46 AM   
iced05


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I punish my slaves boy who coming for self displines according to their mistake but i will take few consideration before i punish them than i make sure what their received embrassed enough for them so their wouldnt repeat it second time ......... i againts violation on human being ... that y i apply humiliating on my slaves  boy ......sometime send them for grounded no tv , no computer ,,, no bed no blanket no cloth on during a grounded ... spanking ... penalty .... for those who has bad mouth i apply soap on their mouth .... after punishment i apply review with them i will ask them few tricky question according to their miss behaviour  activity ....... i believe on discussion from both party ......before decide punishment ....... ;) ....

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 11/9/2006 6:26:21 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		They're very rare, almost unheard of. We talk about things, about what we each understood. I misunderstood something he said in chat back when we were LDR and he, believing it was deliberate, was very disappointed and upset. That in turn made me very upset to a point I couldn't stop crying. He drove up for the day, gave me a token punishment and held me as I cried in his arms. Afterwards we talked about it and discovered he hadn't given me enough information to understand, moreover he just mentioned it in passing and it didn't stick. As a result if he needed something done, he would then send me an email since I've never figured out how to save chat.

As far as deliberate disobedience, I didn't get punished the day I didn't wear the skirt and heels he told me to. But that's because he had forgotten that I was escorting a fifth grade field trip to a pond to see what lived there and heels sink in the mud as you're scooping frogs and salamanders out.

Basically, I want to be with him and I want to make him happy. Am I perfect, not at all. But if I was constantly being punished for being human, then I would give up trying and give up on the relationship.

(in reply to iced05)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Discipline / Punishment - 11/9/2006 8:43:05 AM   
Slaveboiz


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline 		Discipline / Punishment

How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship?

My feeling is that the best type of discipline is self discipline… On those rare occasions when punishment is necessary I find my owner uses it sparingly and as a tool for correction. I like the idea of using the word correction as it implies a positive change.

Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency?

The tone and pace of the M/s relationship should in and of itself be consistent this in my opinion extends itself to discipline. I also feel that punishment should not be part of play. As for willfulness, if as a slave, I find myself willfully disobeying I need to take sometime and assess why I am doing that and is this the right relationship for me and the Master/ Mistress

Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given.

My owner uses what she calls a punishment process. This is where the infraction is made clear to me, I accept the punishment based on my willingness to continue to submit, the correction is administered, a plan for not repeating the infraction, forgiveness and then we move on.

Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal?

In my case no.

Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences?

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
Profile   Post #: 20
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